I have just sat for the last hour and listened to the reasons why somebody doesn't want me

[fairyfly]

One could almost get bitter.

Wine please.

I'm having a can of beer. Ones he left in my fridge.

Christina I was referring to own post, which I had written wrongly, not you.

FF
Gutted for you, I know the ins and outs that preceded this, your guts and your placing your very vulnerable and sometimes sceptical heart on this mans plate.
How very dare he treat you as disposable.
You know what it takes to move on.
Wine, hair down, embrace your kids and your lucky escape.
Much love petal, this shit stinks a lot and I'm sick of you having to shovel it all the time.
GRRR

I actually can't stop crying. At the same time i can hear everyone saying, i would have left him years ago. Doesn't change a thing.

I hoped and prayed and loved all through it and now it has been a complete waste of time.

I also know people have worse times but i am so so so so sick of carrying round a broken heart.

So sorry FF, you know we'll rally round you, not much compensation but it will have to do[wink}
Now lets all get a vat of wine.......

Fairy you should cry as much as you feel you can, it's cathartic in the end, it makes you feel better. Bitterness, rage, feeling like a complete arse and rejection all go hand in hand, anyone that has been in your situation has gone through the same feelings, but we're all still here to tell our tale. Life is definitely better without the idiot that didn't even bother to turn up to his own engagement, what an arse. Unfortunately it will take quite some time for you to honestly believe that, but it'll come. I feel for you. But in the meantime get on the beers, but for God sake delete his numbers out of your phone otherwise you'll end up sending horrible pissed up texts to him (I talk, yet again, from experience!!).

He told me he only ever told me what i wanted to hear. He told me he has not enjoyed my company. He asked me to list when we enjoyed ourselves. I was too lost for words to answer.

We have a holiday booked. Bollocks.

If I didn't like wine so much, FF, I'd take a bottle and break it over this chap's head.

But fuck, I can't drink now, so here's two bottles - you can have mine.

I drink quality plonk, too!

Sending you a big big hug FF I know what you are going through as I am going trough the same at the moment & I clung to him & begged him not to leave ( no pride left!!!)its the most awful feeling. Large glass of wine

His number is engraved in my head, i have known him since i was 19.

I just need to move away, don't want to see him.

What a prick!

You know, even if it's true that he felt like that, if he had any fucking decency he'd have kept his mouth shut.

Sounds like he was being purposefully hurtful Fairy, you don't need that crap from anybody.

Believe it or not i was soooo careful about chosing the right man after the father of my kids. I have been in denial, absolutely determined i had not fallen for an idiot again, always wanting to cling on to his goodside and forgive everything. I couldn't get hurt again.

Ridiculous. I can't even expain what i have been doing.

Yes I know its engraved in your help but please please dont ring or text it (speaking from experience) otherwise you will look back & think what a crazied stalker you are!!!

Oh i won't text, i have since he left, but i had a point to prove, it went like this......

You are such a fantastic actor.

Followed by all his texts forwarded of

I want to be with you forever

Marry me

I never want to leave you

Babe i want us to love and support each other forever and i cant wait to move in.....

Then one last text that said

You are right, it has all been awful, foolish me for reading all the signs wrong, goodbye.

Oh FF

But what a total arse

I felt like such a complete arsehole when I had the same sort of thing done to me, I just felt so bloody useless. But it's not you, it's him. He's the arsehole, he's the one that has the horendous behaviour, and your only failing was liking him in the first place, but you can't help who you fall for, especially if they're lying to you always 'telling you what you want to hear'. Bastard.

On my god I had the same sort of thing done to me. And for the last month I have been blaming myself, And I agree with lolli Bastard.

Theres no need for it, none, he could have just let me be.

All he ever did was come back for more and say how he would never hurt me again etc etc etc.

I mean reading what i am writing sounds so obvious i was being made a fool of. When he held me though it felt different.

God sounds like soon much like my ex. ff you will get through I promise, just keep telling yourselve that as that is what I keep doing.

Got to dash going away for the weekend so that I am not thinking of him. Will check in again on monday keep your chin up.xxx

Everyone always blames themselves in this situation. You blame yourself for not realising, you blame yourself because you think it was something you did, you blame yourself because you aren't what they want you to be but you should be, and then you want to crawl back to them telling them it was all your fault and you'll try harder. Oh, and then you just feel humiliated, so bloody humiliated! I bloody hated all of those feelings. It does get better though, I still want to physically hurt the guy, I still want to purposefully see him and make him feel insanely jealous that I'm so much better than he could ever get, but actually it's best to just get the hell out of there and never look back.

All that coming back is the work of a complete arsehole, I hate that. Bastard (again!).

Spiteful bastard; this rollercoaster behaviour is exactly what keeps us hanging on. We're always waiting for the nice guy in him to come back around, but that isn't really who he is. I'm sorry for your pain FF, but he isn't worth an ounce more of your energy and he certainly does not deserve to be anywhere near your children, fucking up their heads with his Jekyll and Hyde act.

My ex-husband did this. Among the choice phrases were:

"You're too fat to be married to but your face is still pretty"

and

"I just spent the whole night getting off with a girl in a pub, I could never have done that with you as you're not attractive enough".

I was with him for ten years and was a size 12/14 at the time (and foxy if I say it myself )

You are WELL RID - he's a twonk.

I am remarried, even fatter, and blissfully happy.

True, thats what i always felt like. That he had a double personality. I always was loyal to the good one though. Should have stuck with leaving the bad one.

I'm absolutely flawed. Arse/elbow/ which is which?