Am I being controlled?

[BaronessKareness]

Posting for advice and opinions, please…
been with partner (M59) for 4 years now, we get on great, really
‘clicked’ from the start, loads in common etc. He moved in with me last summer as he works away Mon to Fri and there was no point keeping 2 homes running. Since around May/June, he’s been suggesting I give up my job (part time hospitality) as he earns very good money and could easily cover my wages. I’m tempted as I’m sick of my job and finding it hard-going the older I’m getting (very late 50s), and also I love being at home. He is now in the process of getting us a joint vehicle, so we would each sell our own car and share the nice new one. I would have it with me all week. Starting to feel a bit 😳 over the weekend as he’s suddenly suggested I wear less make up as
‘I don’t need it’ and he likes my hair tied back or up- as I look ‘prettier’….. (I really don’t!!)
im starting to feel a bit like an Amish housewife… I’m just waiting for him to arrive home with a bonnet for me!!
Soooo… am I right to feel a bit odd about this - or am I reading to much into this?

That's fab @BaronessKareness - thanks for updating! Keep enjoying!

Good, and thank goodness you didnt listen to the gloom and doom merchants on here!!

Since when was someone giving an opinion (suggesting more or less makeup, hairstyles or clothing) controlling behaviour. My GF has said she likes me clean shaven, not with stubble, I dont find that controlling, just a preference.

So many words bandied about without understanding the damage they do, every time I disagree with my ex I get accused of gaslighting!!

Well, what l see here is a bit of understanding on your part.
I think he has shown enough commitment into the relationship by moving in with you and you already admit you guys are great together.
First your job is almost a burden and you adore being at home and he is able and ready to take care of you both. Isn't that great? Almost your desires?
However, if you are going to leave your job, you need some kind of security. Is he going to give you such security?
If yes. That's just great!
On the aspect of sharing a new car can be problematic but there's nothing sacrifice and open mindedness can not overcome, especially since you are going to be home most of the time.
Now coming to your looks...
It's good for you to look great for yourself and for the one you love. But then, there comes a time in ones life, we just have to play it down, moving into the next stage in life. Perhaps your partner loves you to look modestly enough and still remain attractive. I mean, it shouldn't irk you if he suggests your fashion sense in a complimentary tone.
Think about it, you already said you are in your late 50's and probably he's older. At this stage in life MODESTY is the watch word. Moreover, who are you going to be puting up the good looks for? For your partner for sure. If you he says you are going to look lovely with a scarf on you, please go ahead and look good in a scarf as much as it's going to give you joy as well.

Check out this video. She almost ruined it
https://tii.la/ENDGOOOOD

Don’t under any circumstances give up your own car. I did this for about 9 months and I nearly lost my mind along with my independence. I didn’t enjoy driving the big car so it was an excuse for DH to drive me everywhere. I now have a four year old cat with 8000 miles on the clock. It’s an indulgence and I don’t use it very often but nonetheless it is my lifeline.

That's a lot of miles for a four year old cat 🐈

I’m so glad you didn’t give up your job altogether, you need money of your own coming in while waiting for your pension, however generous he is.
You both sound lovely, absorb the good energy.

It’s a very adventurous one😀

At ALL COSTS, keep some freedom for yourself.