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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He just deleted me .. what happened?

125 replies

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:09

Chatting to a guy on line for last ten days.
Suggested we exchange numbers and photos of me. I don't have profile pics up for work reasons. He ignored that suggestion.
A few more days passed.
Last night, I suggested we wrap this thing up as I felt he was looking for a pen pal and I'm not . He said he'd like to meet so I replied with a suggestion of exchanging numbers again. I also said that his own Profile pics may not even be his own I woke up this morning and he has deleted the conversation and me ...
What the hell????

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 20/08/2023 09:58

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:56

I did wrap it up having suggested that because we didn't share numbers or photos that it wasn't authentic to me and when I woke this morning he had deleted me.

So he deleted you.
Why have you got so worked up about this?

Solonomi · 20/08/2023 09:58

Be glad he deleted you, don’t question it!

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:58

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:56

I did wrap it up having suggested that because we didn't share numbers or photos that it wasn't authentic to me and when I woke this morning he had deleted me.

So you suggested you wrap it up

and he obviously agreed
so why the WTF?
🤷‍♀️

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:58

I think I have been gullible in my whole approach to OLD and perhaps it's not for me.

OP posts:
Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:59

Confused

You suggested to wrap it up
He deleted (obviously agreeing with you)

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:59

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:58

I think I have been gullible in my whole approach to OLD and perhaps it's not for me.

I don’t know about “gullible”

Thisisworsethananticpated · 20/08/2023 10:00

Maybe he scared his photos won’t live up to reality
maybe he’s scared he won’t like your photos

either way he’s got some issues and this isn’t a reflection on you

put in it down to experience

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:00

He didn't respond.
Just deleted the chat thread. That hasn't happened me before.
When something has gone stale in the few chats I've had, we've agreed to move on and wish each other the best.

OP posts:
Newbeeee88 · 20/08/2023 10:02

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:19

There was something off about him . His texts were so rigid, boring and literal. I suggested sharing my photos. He didn't want to do why keep chatting for days after if not interested?
Then when I suggested wrapping it all up he said I really want to meet and hopefully meet again afterwards , which I found odd.

What about him made you like him though? If his texts were rigid and boring? Why would you want to meet or even keep chatting?

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 10:02

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:00

He didn't respond.
Just deleted the chat thread. That hasn't happened me before.
When something has gone stale in the few chats I've had, we've agreed to move on and wish each other the best.

But he’d always been “boring and rigid”

and it hardly sounds like much was invested

I would ah e probably done the same to someone who hasn’t posted profile pics themselves but was asking for more from me and then when I didn’t oblige, suggested we wrap things up

yep, I’d have just deleted and think thank fuck I dodged that bullet!

ilovetomatosoup · 20/08/2023 10:02

Not everyone has manners - they just delete and move on. Many are just looking for photos and nothing more - usually have a wife or partner.

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 10:03

Genuine question

have you ever got beyond the chatting stage op

daisychain01 · 20/08/2023 10:03

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:23

I found the whole thing intriguing. Robotic texts at times and then he would take an interest in a previous message. Whole thing was odd .
Regarding phone numbers ... they're easily blocked and deleted if needed.

Maybe he was an AI Chatbot

I'm only half-joking.

Some people have zero personality and the same amount of social skills. His communication style would have probably been an occasional grunt, if he could even have been arsed, had you dated him.

Bullet well and truly dodged.

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:04

Yes @Flipflipmania . I've had a few coffees but none with anyone that I wanted to pursue further. In the space of the last few weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:06

And if they go off line for a full weekend, is it 99.9% a sign that they're married/ attached ? Even if not very active on a platform generally?

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 10:06

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:00

He didn't respond.
Just deleted the chat thread. That hasn't happened me before.
When something has gone stale in the few chats I've had, we've agreed to move on and wish each other the best.

Everyone does not act the same, you are way overthinking this

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 10:06

And all of them happy to provide more photos of themselves beyond those on their profile?

User63847484848 · 20/08/2023 10:06

Which site was this @wonderfyl? I’m up for having a browse but feel really odd about putting photos on! I’ve found most you can’t sign up to without a profile pic

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 10:07

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:06

And if they go off line for a full weekend, is it 99.9% a sign that they're married/ attached ? Even if not very active on a platform generally?

Or they are divorced and have their children that weekend

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:08

It was tinder.
When I was chatting to others on WhatsApp over the course of few days, we would exchange photos if out doing an activity or at a social event that we were chatting about. I think I might be doing this all wrong.

OP posts:
WunWun · 20/08/2023 10:08

Or they just have a life.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 20/08/2023 10:09

He is a catfish.

You have to be very careful with online dating as some people are very good at catfishing.

They will find an attractive person online with an open account but usually not a famous one and will post a couple of the photos but keep some back, so when you ask for one they can send it.
They’ll also often share their number.

Fortunately, your catfish was crap and only had that one photo and didn’t want to share their number.

You did the right thing by wanting to share photos.

Do not engage in any flirty texts or send provocative photos and obviously don’t send money or gifts until you’ve met them in real life.

And when you do meet them make sure it’s in a public place.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 20/08/2023 10:09

There are also lots of people who are married but I’ve found that a lot of them are quite honest about it.

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 10:10

One of the oddest threads I have read in some time

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 10:11

@Flipflipmania Why is that? Do you do OLD? Genuine question.

OP posts: