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Original poster

He just deleted me .. what happened?

125 replies

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:09

Chatting to a guy on line for last ten days.
Suggested we exchange numbers and photos of me. I don't have profile pics up for work reasons. He ignored that suggestion.
A few more days passed.
Last night, I suggested we wrap this thing up as I felt he was looking for a pen pal and I'm not . He said he'd like to meet so I replied with a suggestion of exchanging numbers again. I also said that his own Profile pics may not even be his own I woke up this morning and he has deleted the conversation and me ...
What the hell????

OP posts:
pamplemoussemousse · 20/08/2023 09:28

Bot? I would never swipe for someone with no pictures on their profile, it wouldn't surprise me if it was a bot.

I'd say OLD isn't for you if you can't use photos, could you try something face to face like speed dating (is that still a thing?)

Either way I'd give it no more headspace and move on.

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:28

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:28

I thought he was very handsome in his photos .. although a friend did comment that he looked like a ski instructor on a catalogue, it was so staged , in her view.Confused

He only had one photo?

Tryingmuchharder · 20/08/2023 09:30

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:16

He did Post profile photos

you didn’t post profile photos

you then ask for more pics as proof they he is actually as per photos

I wouldn’t meet you!

This

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:31

I don't have photos on because I work with quite violent and sinister men, some of whom are on that site and many of whom don't like to be called out on their behaviour( by me) . It is that simple .

OP posts:
WunWun · 20/08/2023 09:31

He could have been a kid, could be married, could be extremely unattractive, could have been just a general waster for whatever reason who never had any intention of meeting...

Who cares. That's online dating in a nutshell really. Mostly a complete waste of time.

WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 09:32

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:31

I don't have photos on because I work with quite violent and sinister men, some of whom are on that site and many of whom don't like to be called out on their behaviour( by me) . It is that simple .

That is your choice though, so there is a double standard

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:32

That's fair enough PP but he DID swipe and we did match. Prior to asking for a second time, he showed no interest in wanting to see me physically or arrange a date

OP posts:
WunWun · 20/08/2023 09:33

You're really overthinking this. Are you new to online dating?

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:34

I agree with double standard but from the moment we matched I explained exactly why I didn't have any photos up and offered to share .

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 20/08/2023 09:34

Scammer.
Probably a group of men, not one, waiting to get money out of you.
His photo stolen from someone attractive.

WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 09:35

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:32

That's fair enough PP but he DID swipe and we did match. Prior to asking for a second time, he showed no interest in wanting to see me physically or arrange a date

Then move on, no one knows who anyone is online so it shouldn't be taken too seriously

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:35

Yea I am relatively new to this world of OLD!
I have a lot to learn clearly !

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 20/08/2023 09:35

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:16

He did Post profile photos

you didn’t post profile photos

you then ask for more pics as proof they he is actually as per photos

I wouldn’t meet you!

This. And any wonder his texts were a bit 'robotic' (whatever the fuck that means) and boring. You'd been speaking 10 days and had never met, you're strangers. If his were robotic, I'd imagine yours were equally robotic.

Pal0ma · 20/08/2023 09:35

Even if his photos were fake, you had no photo, so I don't think you were in a position to ''call him out''.

it's going to be very hard to date without a photo I'd guess.

TheShellBeach · 20/08/2023 09:35

Why are you worrying about this?

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:36

Maybe I'm worried @TheShellBeach that he knows me or has figured out the work thing?

OP posts:
RadioFoot · 20/08/2023 09:37

This is literally a non-story in the world of OLD.

Tricky for you re: photos. I totally understand your reason but there is no way I would match with no photo (whatever the reason). Could you put up photos showing your life / personality so people still get a sense of you?

GuinnessBird · 20/08/2023 09:38

Why are you wasting so much time thinking about this?

WunWun · 20/08/2023 09:38

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:35

Yea I am relatively new to this world of OLD!
I have a lot to learn clearly !

I hate to break it to you, but online dating success stories are VERY rare. Mostly it's just the nonsense you've described. You really shouldn't even vaguely get your hopes up when speaking to someone

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:38

Op I remember you have posted about your OLD many times before - unless lots of mumsnetters are online dating and have a job with sinister men that mean they can’t post profile pics

and you weee given sage advice

if you don’t post profile pics - you will attract the gutter

WunWun · 20/08/2023 09:40

wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:36

Maybe I'm worried @TheShellBeach that he knows me or has figured out the work thing?

Why would you care about this though?

GoodChat · 20/08/2023 09:41

Why would you immediately offer to share photos with a man who you think has a fake picture, given your reason for having no profile picture?

Nobody genuine on OLD is going to swipe and connect with someone without a picture.
Maybe OLD just isn't for you.

Original poster
wonderfyl · 20/08/2023 09:42

I have never posted before about working with sinister and violent men.

This is the first time I have shared this on here this morning because it seemed quite unbelievable to some why I wouldn't.
My reasoning is valid.
My private life , ironically, needs to stay as such but for other reasons I don't have opportunities to socialise and meet men at the moment .

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 20/08/2023 09:42

Why do you work with sinister men?

Flipflipmania · 20/08/2023 09:43

Op you did start a thread

unless there is another mumsnetter old who can’t post profile pics because she works with sinister men

and now you’re denying it

most odd. And this was an odd thread to start with!!

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