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Original poster

Why do women have affairs with men with young children

999 replies

Thegreenpotter · 19/08/2023 22:52

As the title says. Why?

Do they have no concept of the toll that having young children can take on a relationship?

How can they feel ok playing a part in breaking up a family?

This is not to suggest the blame lies with the other women, far from. Just more a curiosity as to why and how they can do so from a moral perspective.

OP posts:
WantingToEducate · 20/08/2023 16:43

WellPlaced · 20/08/2023 16:37

I bet she’s saving a fortune on hotels for a start.

Show quote history

I don’t even know what you mean by this?

watyawant · 20/08/2023 16:47

I think if you're on the receiving end of this kind of treatment it might help to think of it this way: she does not think about you, or your children. She doesn't care. When they're together they don't talk about you, he acts single and she accepts it.

It's not about you or the children. It's about him and her, both being selfish. Both being subpar humans.

If a man is going to cheat, he will. You can have five kids or none, it does not matter to someone who thinks it's acceptable to cheat.

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:57

@Thereasonidid @Stoopidi

Nah, there's nothing liberating about being a side piece that nobody wants to claim. That's a damn sad way to live.

It's a not a boyfriend that you see and wave goodbye to on the weekend. It's a man you probably fancy. Who has a family who he loves. But he doesn't love you. Tragic 😂😂😂

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:59

@WantingToEducate it comes across as desperate.

A man who wants sex and companionship but can only get it via a taken woman is also a bit of a sad case.

Maybe if PP was shagging a multitude of married men it wouldn't come across that she's clinging to this one fella, and you'd have a point.

But that would be even more pathetic tbh

herownworstenemy · 20/08/2023 17:04

you really don't do you. its a mark of a character, whether you choose to raise boundaries after bad experiences in life or lower them to the ground and swim amongst the floating turds. Its self-destruction with an artificial smile plastered across it, and all for the sake of some sad little greying male ego and even sadder little dick.

and yes jaded and bitter, its just how your posts read & you're the one writing them 🤷‍♀️

SueVineer · 20/08/2023 17:04

I doubt any woman deliberately sets out to have an affair with a man with young children. Other people’s kids are not an attractive thing. I imagine that they just fancy the man and either he lies about the relationship with the mother not working or being over, or it genuinely is. The women either believe him or want to believe him so much they put scepticism to the side.

Thereasonidid · 20/08/2023 17:07

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:57

@Thereasonidid @Stoopidi

Nah, there's nothing liberating about being a side piece that nobody wants to claim. That's a damn sad way to live.

It's a not a boyfriend that you see and wave goodbye to on the weekend. It's a man you probably fancy. Who has a family who he loves. But he doesn't love you. Tragic 😂😂😂

Oh, please stop 🤣🤣🤣

Nobody wants to claim

My sides are hurting. If you want to be "claimed" love, you crack on. I certainly don't.

SueVineer · 20/08/2023 17:14

Thereasonidid · 20/08/2023 17:07

Oh, please stop 🤣🤣🤣

Nobody wants to claim

My sides are hurting. If you want to be "claimed" love, you crack on. I certainly don't.

Show quote history

To be fair I’ve never (knowingly) been an affair partner but I love being single and have had happy casual relationships in the past. I can understand your perspective @Thereasonidid

WantingToEducate · 20/08/2023 17:19

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:59

@WantingToEducate it comes across as desperate.

A man who wants sex and companionship but can only get it via a taken woman is also a bit of a sad case.

Maybe if PP was shagging a multitude of married men it wouldn't come across that she's clinging to this one fella, and you'd have a point.

But that would be even more pathetic tbh

I think women who believe a married man will leave his wife for her, and wants that to happen, is quite sad and desperate.

But for women like thereasonidid - I think she’s got quite a good set-up that suits her and one she’s genuinely happy with. There’s nothing desperate about that.

Not all women want to be rescued by a man in shining armour, some of them are quite content being single and using men for company and sex in any way they see fit.

Noizettely · 20/08/2023 17:26

WantingToEducate · 20/08/2023 17:19

I think women who believe a married man will leave his wife for her, and wants that to happen, is quite sad and desperate.

But for women like thereasonidid - I think she’s got quite a good set-up that suits her and one she’s genuinely happy with. There’s nothing desperate about that.

Not all women want to be rescued by a man in shining armour, some of them are quite content being single and using men for company and sex in any way they see fit.

Show quote history

Like prostitutes.

WantingToEducate · 20/08/2023 17:34

Noizettely · 20/08/2023 17:26

Like prostitutes.

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Yeah…women who have affairs with men are just like prostitutes….

This thread is mental.

Women who see married men are either naive and suffering from some kind of deep psychological trauma OR they’re a prostitute.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the complete idiocy of this mantra.

Thereasonidid · 20/08/2023 17:35

Noizettely · 20/08/2023 17:26

Like prostitutes.

Show quote history

🤦

No, not like prostitutes.

Some prostitutes love their job.
Some are forced into it through trafficking or lack of funds.
Some, it's the only life they've known and they see no choices to leave.

So no, not like prostitutes at all.

Thanks @WantingToEducate for getting it. I'm very happy with my life and set up. The MM I saw ended over 2 years ago.

I'm currently seeing another man at the moment on a casual basis. It's great fun. He has no intention to catch me and I have no intention to be caught by him. 😉

We're just having fun fucking and regularly going out to places here and there together. Which I think seems to offend some people on this thread, but that's very much their problem and not ours.

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 17:37

But for women like thereasonidid - I think she’s got quite a good set-up that suits her and one she’s genuinely happy with. There’s nothing desperate about that.

@WantingToEducate I understand where you're coming from, but unless PP is seeing multiple men, she has an attachment to this man she's seeing.

They see each other 3-4 times a week, and she doesn't see any other men (as far as I read). That's not really a casual thing and there's almost certainly some bond she has towards him

If it's all about liberation and sex then find a single man to liberate you. Why must it be this one specific man, who is married?

WantingToEducate · 20/08/2023 17:42

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 17:37

But for women like thereasonidid - I think she’s got quite a good set-up that suits her and one she’s genuinely happy with. There’s nothing desperate about that.

@WantingToEducate I understand where you're coming from, but unless PP is seeing multiple men, she has an attachment to this man she's seeing.

They see each other 3-4 times a week, and she doesn't see any other men (as far as I read). That's not really a casual thing and there's almost certainly some bond she has towards him

If it's all about liberation and sex then find a single man to liberate you. Why must it be this one specific man, who is married?

Of course there’s a bond in some way, that doesn’t mean you want a committed future with them.

With the guy I was seeing I obviously had feelings for him otherwise I wouldn’t have wanted to see him or spend time with him, but ultimately it was just fun. I wanted the fun part of what it’s like to have a relationship, without having to feel tied to someone.

I can honestly say, hand on my heart, it never bothered me at l when I knew he was with his wife.

We each had lives outside of each other and that was fine.

herownworstenemy · 20/08/2023 17:42

Its interesting isn't it? It is perfectly possible to have a relationship with someone who is not married and still retain own home and space and life and freedom not have the shared homelife, Nobody needs a married man to have a relationship like that, its 2023 not 1823. Also, if it was all so fine and dandy and happy and carefree why keep it hidden? The DC might even know and be fine with it. They'd say "oh dad, what is he like that rascal" and have a chuckle. So as well as selfishness and insecurity the whole thing is built on deception (self deception as well as everything else) and a hearty dollop of cowardice.

Honeychickpea · 20/08/2023 17:43

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:57

@Thereasonidid @Stoopidi

Nah, there's nothing liberating about being a side piece that nobody wants to claim. That's a damn sad way to live.

It's a not a boyfriend that you see and wave goodbye to on the weekend. It's a man you probably fancy. Who has a family who he loves. But he doesn't love you. Tragic 😂😂😂

Why would he be fucking around while happily married? I suspect that the wife in question is lying to herself, and probably has been for years.

Honeychickpea · 20/08/2023 17:55

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 16:57

@Thereasonidid @Stoopidi

Nah, there's nothing liberating about being a side piece that nobody wants to claim. That's a damn sad way to live.

It's a not a boyfriend that you see and wave goodbye to on the weekend. It's a man you probably fancy. Who has a family who he loves. But he doesn't love you. Tragic 😂😂😂

So why the terror that he will leave you?

Zone2NorthLondon · 20/08/2023 17:57

well this descended into name calling and unpleasantness. The poor men. Diddums some spare left over no one wants her hoor has entrapped some MM
For as long as folk trot out daft tropes you’ll never understand why men have affairs. Because they can. Because they want to. Volition and
opportunity
Men cheat because they want to. They’re not stolen. No one turns their head
Women have relationships with MM because they want to. Because they ca. Volition and opportunity

finally there is no girl code or sisterhood. That’s BS awe are told to keep us in our place. Why would I have an affinity because we are both female. Class, education,culture these are basis of bonds and affinity more than gender

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 18:01

So why the terror that he will leave you?

Who will leave me, sorry?

ChefMike · 20/08/2023 18:04

The poor men. Diddums some spare left over no one wants her hoor has entrapped some MM

Don't forget the poor OW. Diddums. So hard when you have no choice but to shag another woman's partner. Not desperate though.

Zone2NorthLondon · 20/08/2023 18:09

The other women Have made a choice to shag a MM. It’s an active choice. Not coerced
As unpalatable as it is both adults make decisions and have behaviours that impact upon marriages and potentially cause strife and upset
These are regular women and men. Colleagues, Siblings, mates. Not some species of other or an amoral cabal. Quite simply folk who chose to be unfaithful
I’m not sure the demonisation really adds anything

Noizettely · 20/08/2023 18:13

Thereasonidid · 20/08/2023 17:35

🤦

No, not like prostitutes.

Some prostitutes love their job.
Some are forced into it through trafficking or lack of funds.
Some, it's the only life they've known and they see no choices to leave.

So no, not like prostitutes at all.

Thanks @WantingToEducate for getting it. I'm very happy with my life and set up. The MM I saw ended over 2 years ago.

I'm currently seeing another man at the moment on a casual basis. It's great fun. He has no intention to catch me and I have no intention to be caught by him. 😉

We're just having fun fucking and regularly going out to places here and there together. Which I think seems to offend some people on this thread, but that's very much their problem and not ours.

Show quote history

But that’s not very savvy. I imagine he’s in a good job and has a comfortable home set up, so why not charge some money for it? It’s an easy way to make a bit on the side so why not?

Zone2NorthLondon · 20/08/2023 18:18

Noizettely · 20/08/2023 18:13

But that’s not very savvy. I imagine he’s in a good job and has a comfortable home set up, so why not charge some money for it? It’s an easy way to make a bit on the side so why not?

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what are you on about? Why would it be transactional & financial when they’re in a relationship .
Or is it snide dig that she’s a scrubber I tell ya. Bet she charges for it
Yawn.

A303 · 20/08/2023 18:22

Bunny boilers

Pissedoffandcovidy · 20/08/2023 18:23

@Noizettely surely in many cases it is the wife that is more like a prostitute as so many stay in marriages for financial reasons ie exchanging services for money?
whereas the women you are speaking to are having sex for pleasure. Most definitely not for money - so in no way equivalent to a prostitute. Or do you struggle with the concept of women enjoying sex for its own sake?
which is not to say I condone affairs, I do not! But comparing it to prostitution is weird (except where perhaps the OW is trying to snare a monied man).