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Original poster

A relative invited me to live rent-free and is now advising me to buy a house

105 replies

dhiaxdk1278 · 15/08/2023 10:44

I (25M) I have a relative that knew I will be looking for a new apartment and invited me to live with him rent-free. He suggested giving me a small one room apartment next to his house and repeated it multiple times, even told our common friends about it so I agreed as I enjoy spending time with him as I visit him often( He always calls to invite me). At first he told me that I should only pays my bills then told me I can live for free.

Now, two weeks before moving to his place, I visited him as always, he invites me often btw, and out of no where he started talking about houses and how buying a small apartment is beneficial to me as I will paying the amount of rent to the bank so better own something instead of renting and losing my money. I got shocked as I counted on him and stopped looking for apartments so I asked him upfront what about the small apartment you told me about and he responded saying that as promised I can come and live there. I asked him many times wether he needs the apartment now ( as I thought perhaps he changed his mind) and he declined saying he does not need it and he just told me about buying out of giving advices nothing more as houses are getting more expensive and I can reduce taxes.

I called him next day by phone and brought the subject again , as people tend to be more comfortable by phone, then asked him again. I thought maybe he will tell me he changed his mind ..but he said no and that he rented it a couple of years to gain some money but now I can live there for a year or two as he will sell it afterwards( no information here,I didn't know about selling it)

From the start I suggested paying rent many times but he declined. I am confused. Why would he bring the subject of buying a house then tells me" no you can live there for a year or two". I could not understand wether he wants me to move in or doesn't anymore. My instinct is giving me bad signs. I don't want to take things for free or let others feel used by me and at the same time I can't find an apartment in two weeks as I am living in a big city.

Could you please let me know what do you think?

OP posts:
Shurleyknot · 15/08/2023 10:46

He is telling you that with the rent you will save by living there free you could save up for your own mortgage.

Dery · 15/08/2023 10:48

This does sound very confusing. Could you offer to pay rent to your relative for now and look for somewhere else to move into in the future?

Hoppinggreen · 15/08/2023 10:49

I agree, sounds like he is saying you can live there rent free but buying a house is a good idea in the long term

VeridicalVagabond · 15/08/2023 10:50

Perhaps he's saying, a little clumsily, that you can live there rent free so you can save the money you would be spending on rent for a deposit on a house in a couple of years?

FourTeaFallOut · 15/08/2023 10:51

I think you will find your offer of rent free living rescinded pretty quickly if you keep bugging him and insisting he meant something he didn't.

TrickleWell · 15/08/2023 10:53

I don’t understand why you’re confused. He’s telling you that you should use the money you would have spent on rent to save for a deposit!

TrickleWell · 15/08/2023 10:53

FourTeaFallOut · 15/08/2023 10:51

I think you will find your offer of rent free living rescinded pretty quickly if you keep bugging him and insisting he meant something he didn't.

And this.

Ilovegoldies · 15/08/2023 10:54

Buying is a good idea..as others have said I think he's suggesting you save like mad for a few years.

Nevermay · 15/08/2023 10:54

I think he means exactly what I mean with my adult children living at home rent free - the reason is it gives them an opportunity to save up a deposit, an opportunity they would not have if they were paying rent. I think he is giving you this opportunity

BatheInTheLight · 15/08/2023 10:54

VeridicalVagabond · 15/08/2023 10:50

Perhaps he's saying, a little clumsily, that you can live there rent free so you can save the money you would be spending on rent for a deposit on a house in a couple of years?

That's what I glean from it too

CluelessHamster · 15/08/2023 10:55

Yes. He is hinting that he doesn't want you thinking you can live there, rent free, for ever and that he is offering it to you for a couple of years so you can save up for a deposit. Perhaps that is what he originally meant but realised he didn't make it clear so he's telling you now.

His offer is really generous and a wonderful opportunity for you. I would ask him clearly "are you still happy for me to move in on the 28th?" (or whenever you plan to move in). It sounds like he will say yes, so move in there and set up a savings account with the money you save on rent and you'll hopefully have a nice amount for a deposit on your own place before too long.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 15/08/2023 10:56

My guess is that he is happy for you to live there now, but doesn't want to (or has been warned against) making you dependant or making it look as if you have a claim to inherit. So if he knows you are making provision for the day when you can no longer live in his flat, he will be happy for you to live there, but if he knows he would be making you homeless in the future he would be uneasy with the arrangement.

And he is not wrong - if you decide to live there you should be actively planning to house yourself in the future.

BatheInTheLight · 15/08/2023 10:57

To add, I think it's very considerate of you to check that he is definitely happy with what he has proposed.

I'd say you have now checked and rechecked more than enough times. After you have moved in I would thank them for giving you this opportunity which means you can save a deposit for somewhere of your own.

user1492757084 · 15/08/2023 10:58

Take his advice on board and save as much as you can while he is being generous. Then purchase a small abode of your own.

boboshmobo · 15/08/2023 10:58

Agree , he is telling you he is helping you so you can save for a deposit in the two years .

SirChenjins · 15/08/2023 11:02

I think he's saying he's happy for you to live there rent free on the proviso that you don't squander your money while living there, but instead look on it as a great opportunity to be able to save hard for your own place, something not many young people have given to them.

user78262102928 · 15/08/2023 11:02

Yes, as others have said, he is offering for you to live rent free for a period of time (to save for your deposit) but not forever.

He is worried that he hasn’t made it clear and is trying to clarify without it being awkward.

I assume you will be getting him a wonderful gift as a thank you, so in the card say how kind it is of him to do this so that you can save for your deposit. Then he will have some peace of mind knowing that you have understood.

Oatycookies · 15/08/2023 11:05

user78262102928 · 15/08/2023 11:02

Yes, as others have said, he is offering for you to live rent free for a period of time (to save for your deposit) but not forever.

He is worried that he hasn’t made it clear and is trying to clarify without it being awkward.

I assume you will be getting him a wonderful gift as a thank you, so in the card say how kind it is of him to do this so that you can save for your deposit. Then he will have some peace of mind knowing that you have understood.

Exactly this.

He’s being very generous and you should definitely take advantage of it to at least save partly towards a deposit. I’d have loved that opportunity in my 20s.

Creepyrosemary · 15/08/2023 11:06

What they said. What did you think? Did you think that you were going to live rent free for the next 60 years? He is trying to help you, take the help and get on the property ladder. You are at an age that you need to think long term in regards of housing and a pension.

Dillydollydingdong · 15/08/2023 11:06

He's just giving you advice. Good advice

JenniferBarkley · 15/08/2023 11:07

He's giving you good advice and a massive help. Save like mad for a couple of years while living rent free and you'll be in a great position.

Shinyandnew1 · 15/08/2023 11:08

At first he told me that I should only pays my bills then told me I can live for free.

Please don’t agree to him paying your bills though!

GreyCarpet · 15/08/2023 11:08

Shurleyknot · 15/08/2023 10:46

He is telling you that with the rent you will save by living there free you could save up for your own mortgage.

This!

He is giving you a 2 year head start on saving up for a deposit. It wasn't intended to be a lifetime of living rent free.

I agree that he is trying to clarify the situation by bringing up buying now.

If I left a family member live rent free (at my ultimate expense because he can't let it to anyone else while you're there), I'd also be expecting them to be saving for a deposit.

Neuronamechange · 15/08/2023 11:09

I think he’s (politely) saying he’s happy to help but the money you are saving on rent should be saved towards buying a property of your own.

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 15/08/2023 11:10

He’s obviously allowing you to live rent free so you can save to buy your own place. He’s extremely generous.