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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My new bf is a monster

92 replies

Dontbedi · 13/08/2023 15:17

My bf is very intelligent. So when I tell you that there's been several occasions where he's made statements that have turned into arguments because of how IDIOTIC he can be, I'm at a fork in the road because of it.

One of the first ones that I can remember was about a tattoo I have on my wrist.
I got the tattoo when I was 21 in a friends garage, so needless to say, its not the most profound of tattoos.

But it was a semi colon before a semi colon then and a semi colon in this very moment.
So when I tell you that I'm a conversation with my bf about my tattoos, he goes on to say "I just don't know what you want to hide or why you don't just tell me the truth."

From there on we go back an fourth about this nonsense.

I ask him what he thinks it is then, he responded with "09"

🙄

It's apparently obvious that it "was " an 09 and I tried filling it in. .

When in reality it's just a shitty tattoo.
The guy dug me out and alongside the shitty tattooer there was also shitty ink and a shitty needle.
And i even agree it looks like it could very well be 09.
But the fact of the matter is it's not.

I haven't a reason to lie about something like this.

I'll include a picture below.

To this day it's a mystery why I don't just fess up to it.

Example #2

A few days ago I was getting dressed to grab some milk from the grocery store, and my daughter was not having a good evening at all. Shes throwing a absolute fit and he says he's gonna wipe her face since she's already freaking out.

I tell him please wait 2 seconds so I am not in the room to hear that commotion it makes me grind my teeth!

Instead of caring about how I felt. Or taking into consideration that's my baby.

He starts arguing with me whilst wipingherfa e anyways, and the words coming out of his mouth at the same time my daughter is crying so hard she's silent were,
That's retarded there's absolutely no logic behind your statement your an idot.
I said there's some things you just shouldn't argue with the mother of the child about.
And he took the baby wipes (the entire bag not one baby wipe.) And threw them pointblank pretty hard at my FUCKING FACE. in front of my daughter to make it even worse. .

This last week has been really heart wrecking for me, as I feel he isn't capable of Truelove at least not with me.

Because this isn't love.

I made him food the other night and he takes a bite and sighs and says it's cold.
No thank you. No itsgood.
It's cold. Thanks for half assing my dinner..

A different occurrence where I said why do you think it's ok to interrupt me like I don't matter. And he said "if what your saying is absolutely idiotic and retarded I will talk over you because your wasting my time I don't want to hear it. (how can an opinion of mine be wrong??)

Two nights ago I asked if he'd take the laundry hamper downstairs for me, and he said no to that as well.

Tonight I asked him to please kill a spider for me. And guess what.
He said no. Told me to do it. I said a relationship goes both ways equally. We both should put in parts of ourselves for the other one, and only them. That's part of being bf gf..

He told me he doesn't want me ending up like everyone we live with.
(He's the handy man in the house)
I said your GF is the only one that should be expected to ask you to do certain things here n there.

I said listen to yourself for real.
Your GF asked u to kill a spider. And your acting like i ask so much of you. As if I don't do your dishes mine and baby's.
Wash your clothes, the baby's , our linens and my own. Fold your clothes the baby's and mine. Put them all away (ORGANIZED TO THE T. TO THE Q. JEANS TO SHORTS TO GYM SHORTS ECT.)
He doesn't even take his boxers off his jeans, or the belt.

And it sucks because I truly love him. And I know that if he continues to think in this fashion I won't continue this.
I won't subject my baby to watch this toxicity grow.

What do u think. Is he a narcissist. Because he says I am.

My new bf is a monster
OP posts:
Goldsilverbronze1 · 13/08/2023 15:19

You are worth more Flowers

Thebigblueballoon · 13/08/2023 15:21

You both sound like a total disaster, to be honest. Why are you in this relationship?

Ohmylovejune · 13/08/2023 15:21

You spent longer on that post than you should on him.

Doggymummar · 13/08/2023 15:21

Just get rid, nothing is worth this drama

FionnulaTheCooler · 13/08/2023 15:22

I really hope he isn't your child's father. You need to get both of you away from him ASAP. The arguing and belittling you is bad enough but he also physically assaulted you. Get rid of him unless you want your child to be next.

liondreams · 13/08/2023 15:23

he sounds dangerous.

Rockandrollfangirl · 13/08/2023 15:23

Jesus he's an absolute twat isn't he.
Get rid of him asap.

Cheeky fucker shouldn't be speaking you like that. You deserve better this is not normal

Persipan · 13/08/2023 15:23

Bin him off, obviously. But also, why is a 'new' boyfriend anywhere around your daughter at all? In future relationships I would really suggest taking things very, very slow and carefully in terms of when to even introduce a boyfriend to your child.

PickAChew · 13/08/2023 15:24

He needs to be out if your life.

Takoneko · 13/08/2023 15:24

You need to get away from this man with your child. He doesn’t love you. He is not worth a second more of your time and he’s potentially incredibly dangerous to you and your daughter.

kidsonthemoon · 13/08/2023 15:25

You start off with My Bf is very intelligent.
Errr no he's not, he's an arsehole. He calls you retarded but you're still with him. Time to leave him to it

Belladonna56 · 13/08/2023 15:26

You really, really shouldn't be with this man.

Shes throwing a absolute fit and he says he's gonna wipe her face since she's already freaking out

This is extremely concerning. Your baby is in danger from him and you need to protect her.

TheFormidableMrsC · 13/08/2023 15:27

He's an abusive wanker. Get rid.

Letterposter · 13/08/2023 15:27

One day you will look back and wonder why you wasted so much time thinking about him, being with him when you should have dumped him.

he isn’t right for you, you can see this otherwise you wouldn’t be posting.

You know what to do .

Shurleyknot · 13/08/2023 15:27

Your NEW boyfriend has already met your child and gone against your parenting and you are asking for advice instead of turfing him out?

And yes it does look like an 09 to me.

Letterposter · 13/08/2023 15:28

How long have you been with him and can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?

TheYadaYada · 13/08/2023 15:29

Why are you with him? He sounds awful and not remotely intelligent.

Your tattoo does look like '09' to be fair, but that's none of his business.

barbarahunter · 13/08/2023 15:29

He's a complete twat - get rid.

Belladonna56 · 13/08/2023 15:30

I really hope he isn't your child's father

From the OP's post, I am guessing that this man is not the child's father.
Many cases of child murder have been perpetrated by the woman's boyfriend. I would hate for this to have a terrible outcome.

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 13/08/2023 15:30

Not read it all but this is enough. Kick him out and lock the door. He's an abusive fucker.

And he took the baby wipes (the entire bag not one baby wipe.) And threw them pointblank pretty hard at my FUCKING FACE. in front of my daughter to make it even worse. .

ilovetomatosoup · 13/08/2023 15:30

‘Very intelligent’ people can easily have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old, which is what your bf has.

This is a lost cause of a relationship until he grows up & starts acting like an adult. ditch and run is my suggestion here. No need to discuss, just go.

Seryse · 13/08/2023 15:32

He's a twat. You deserve better and you know it. Move on and be happy with your lil one.

Hellofromtheotherslide · 13/08/2023 15:37

He has started abusing you. Your cue to leave this relationship was when he threw something at you, in front of your child too. Do not let this become your child's life. You both deserve better.

EsmeShelby · 13/08/2023 15:37

Get rid of him.

LakeTiticaca · 13/08/2023 15:38

I can't actually believe what I have just read. Why the fuckity fuck are you even anywhere near this piece of shit?
How can you like, let alone love, someone who behaves like this? Please God, for the sake of your daughter's safety, and yours, get away from this vile and disgusting specimen