Do you still fancy your DH after a long relationship

[Palacelife]

And if so, how long have you been together

Only 5.5 years, but yes, the sight of him drives me crazy. We had sex three times yesterday, and once already today.

Completely with you.
I like my house, finances and shared friends and family too much.

It's an awful situation to be in to be honest, because I do really love him, but I just don't have that 'phwoar' feeling for him and desperately wish I did, then my life would be truly perfect!

Does he know you feel like that?

Does he feel the same?

Are you both just staying with each other for the convenience of it without having any true feelings for each other?

Yep! 14 years

40 years, and yes, I adore him. My soul lifts when he walks through the door.

Honestly, we’ve had a huge argument today. Over our eldest child and how we both dealt with it. I’m so angry and upset with him. This is rare - argue maybe once every few years. I’m still angry with him. He was totally out of order.
But he just text me from the pub, and yes, I still fancy him. 😤 Several hours later and one text and I know I will end up forgiving him. Together 22 years.

18 years together, 16 years married. Still in love with one another and still having sex regularly. Not as regularly as we used to as tiredness gets in the way with a hectic family life but there's definitely still a lot of passion there.

Same

That is DH and I, it's always something to do with the DC then we argue. But talk later and apologise. I hope you both do the same. It's tough raising the DC. You are not alone 💐

Been together 20 years but married for 13 years. I fancy the pants off him.

Thank you

No I'm not so cruel to tell him I don't physically fancy him, what would be the point of this when he can't change anything about it and I'm not leaving? I suspect he knows I get little crushes, as we'd gently tease each other about people we fancy we just notice chemistry or when someone is the other's type. I find it hilarious when he has crushes and he is excellent at putting me off a crush because he ends up making a fun and joke about them that the crush feels silly. The crushes that lasted longer were the ones he didn't know the guy and I didn't tell him about him because I wanted to enjoy the crush on my own for longer.

I think he loves me more than I love him because he'd be absolutely fine financially if he left me and he is incredibly independent I don't think he's scared of going it alone. He puts up with so much from me that I believe he must love me. I know he still fancies me from compliments and initiating sex, still says I love you unprompted... etc.

I do have true feelings for him, he is like a good friend. My feelings towards him are deeper and more real than any feelings for a crush or sexual fantasy. I'd be mad to leave all that I have for a sexual fantasy. The grass is not greener and if I had money worries I would be far too stressed to enjoy sex and romance.

Gosh that's so lovely, I want that! Enjoy @WantingToEducate

No.

Have been together for 10 years and I still fancy him 98% of the time. The other 2% is when he hasn’t been for a haircut in months and wears the only hideous top he owns.

@MachineMan what if one of your crushes turned into love? Do you feel guilty that you don’t like DH in that way? Does he try to elicit a response from you that you don’t have to give?

I was at a friends house yesterday and her husband was booking her hair appointment for her - not because she couldn't she was saying she had no time to get it done because they have young kids and about to go on holiday.

he blocked time in his work diary to look after the kids called the salon and booked it.

such a simple thing but for me that's what you do when you love someone. Think of them.

my husband wouid never do that! Made me really sad.

Yes (together over 10 years and in our 40s)

Sadly I haven’t aged as well and don’t think he fancies me anymore

Or maybe he is a shallow, controlling, social media bragger who wanted his wife to not look like she'd let herself go? 😏

@MachineMan I’m in the same boat - very close but don’t fancy him and we are not intimate, haven’t been for years (sexually). We do hug etc. I feel emotionally torn as I have crushes too and don’t know if I can continue this way. I feel so sad about it all but scared to throw it all away.

His hygiene bothers me a little too - especially dental. We never kiss (just quick peck, usually on cheek) He washes but I noticed he’s recently started wearing his pants two days in a row!

I also received this message from anon sender months ago..
Why are you staying with *. You know he is gay right? You need to get out of that situation you’re both fooling yourselves. The marriage is finished and has been for a long time

So my head is all over the place!

God yes, 25 years together and I still fancy him. Unfortunately due to menopause I'm not as rampant as I used to be, but I make sure he knows he is still loved and wanted . We try lots of new things that definitely get me interested 🙈....he is also very well read on the trials and tribulations of the menopause. Hes bloody lovely ❤️❤️❤️

Not really. Sometimes. I never act on it though. Menopause has killed off my libido. Though I don’t have much of one anyway! I have zero interest in sex with anyone.