I would like to start by thanking anyone who takes the time to read and respond.
Is anyone familiar with the Telegram app? I have had it for a long time but hardly use it. I run my own business so all social media apps are a must, I have many clients from different countries who don't favor whatsapp for example.
I had a notification last week to say my boyfriend had joined Telegram. Let me tell you we have been together for 9 years and live together. He is the most anti social person I have ever met. He hates gatherings and celebrations and has given up on his friends. He say he just doesn't have the heads pace for other people's dramas. He likes to so what he likes, when he likes without restrictions of times, plans etc..
Back to Telegram, when I saw him pop up I thought oh that's strange, he hardly talks to anyone (as above) and says the the only people he needs in his life is me, his mother, brother and his child (not mine) anyway I didnt react or ask him but the next day he had removed the visibility of his phone number so only a username appeared and 2 shirtless profile photos. Again I was like hmmm. Then on Friday afternoon when he got home from work the account had been deleted from my view. Alarms start going off.. call it gut instinct.
Now I would never normally do this but at the weekend I checked his phone, completely clean not even the app installed. So I thought just leave it. Maybe he too also joined out of curiosity.
On Monday morning I got a notification to say his mother had joined Telegram. I didnt open the notification until the night time and on opening its was his mother's phone number with his username and same shirtless profile pics.
That same moment I confronted him. He told me he had installed it to spy on his contacts and nothing more and forget it. I am not a dumbo and not about to forget it so told him unless he willing to sit down and tell me the truth there is nothing more to be said. Telegram doesn't force you to put a profile picture so if it was for spying why do that.
This evening he has told me that Telegram has a feature where you can search for people to chat to nearby and that what he has been doing. I said so you have been talking to women specifically? He said men and women which I don't believe for a second.
He went on to say I work too much and don't give him enough attention and we don't do enough things together. Let me say that in the past 3 months we have been to Paris, we often go to the cinema, beach walks, hiking, often eat out at nice restaurants, visit family, spend time with his boy, sex is regular and he has said in my face it's not enough that he has too much free time on his hands and needs to keep entertained. He starts work at 7am and finishes at 2pm where as I can sometimes work 15 18 hours a day. My business is only in the 2nd year and I am committed to making it successful.
He's crying and says he feels sick at what he has been doing.
I'm not even mad as something similar happened many moons ago, I'm just disappointed and completely out of steam.
Any advice welcome. :(