Partner just compared me to ex - TWICE

[Remoteclockface]

Me and DP have been together 2 + years - his ex is toxic from what he, his family and what I know of her.

Tonight is the first night blending families - is, his DS staying at mine with my DD, separate rooms kids asleep - but it’s been tough, tensions have run high and DP has had a little too much wine.

we were whisper arguing about something petty and he said ‘you sound just like her’ I asked him if he was serious, he said ‘yes, I’m having flash backs of her looking at you’ - I’m livid and I’m the spare room fuming!!!

He has come in to try and coax me to bed but I’m fuming! How dare he resort to that so quickly, we rarely argue so I’m shocked he would stoop so low so quick!

Is this the end?

He also accused the dog of ‘taking his place on the sofa’
Don't laugh at this. This is the red flag. This shows you who he thinks is he and who everyone else in the house is.

The argued in private while the kids were in bed.

We have no idea the context of the argument, we have no idea what was said on either side other than that one comment.

let’s not jump to conclusions

• The argued in private while the kids were in bed.

We have no idea the context of the argument, we have no idea what was said on either side other than that one comment.

let’s not jump to conclusions *

True we have no idea of their situation or the reason they were arguing, for all we know this is a second relationship that has been nurtured by 2 selfish individuals who wanted to end previous relationships and chase the dream of love and unicorns in a new relationship.
The male clearly critized his previous partner which helped hook op in by making him look like the victim.

Many second relationships have trouble enduring due to the fact that two selfish individuals can come together and thereby when reality hits in situations such as blending families both parties try to assert their dominance.

There is a power play here and I think op is seeing that he wants to be dominant, if he doesn't get his own way he will go, this appears to be her choice now.
She stated her previous partner never acted this way, she's met her match with this one and neither party looks like they will back down.

I'd text him while you're out. Tell him he needs to go before you get home.
Say you won't be spoken to like that and you don't want to see him again.

This.

My best friend only discovered the truth about her husbands first wife when she herself had been married to him for a few years and was divorcing him. She'd be spun a yarn by him and his family about how crazy she was. Turns out, she wasn't.

To be clear, is this your own house and he stays over?
Or does he now live with you at yours?
Or do you share the rent/mortgage?

You were wise to leave it some time before attempting an all together night

It hadn't occurred to me they lived together, I'm not sure why.

Hope you're ok this evening OP.

How is the situation now, @Remoteclockface?