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Original poster

Boyfriend slept with a mutual friend

111 replies

whyisntanelephantblue · 25/07/2023 14:08

Hi. I'm new to mumsnet, I really need a hand hold right now and for someone to leave nice things they got up to so I can distract myself. Maybe for some crappy ex stories so I know I'm not alone

I just ended things about two hours with my now ex boyfriend when I found out he slept with a mutual friend of ours. He was talking to someone about it on the phone and I overheard, I was mid way through packing his bags when he came to find me - He knows cheating is a dealbreaker to me so he took his bags and his friend is letting him crash in the spare room for the time being. We were together nearly six years, in the process of buying a house and we were thinking of getting engaged, I feel a bit numb to all this to be honest - It hasn't quite set in what he did. When he explained why I was torn between laughing hysterically or pushing him into the nearest river. He said he did it so he could help our mutual friend get revenge on her ex. When I asked why she couldn't have just asked any single male she knew he said it was because she trusts him more than other male friends we have, the idea is laughable to me.

He says he loves me and he's sorry about what he did. That he knows it was wrong and he shouldn't have said yes when she was so vulnerable - I think he's grovelling because he knows his Mum and Step-Dad wont let him move back in the house. As I'm writing this all down I'm now wondering if its been going on or if it was just a one time thing - I'm truly too terrified to ask either of them. She wasn't a close friend to me, but she was still a friend and she knows I'd have never done that to her.

I know I need to bite the bullet and face the music but for now I just want to curl up on my sofa with my ice cream and watch trash reality shows or a bad English sitcom from the nineties.

I hope your day's going better than mine. I really do

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 26/07/2023 07:53

You’re handling this brilliantly, if you were my dd I’d be so proud of you

Oh, and this as well.

Kittensat36 · 26/07/2023 08:20

If he does shack up with her, we can have a sweepstake on who cheats first and how long it takes.

She wants to hash it out? Pfffff!! You're right to block her. She's just playing with you. Even if she was genuine in her apologies, hearing details would hurt you more.

As for him, he has no right to speak to you. Take comfort from the fact that he is bursting to give you the "yeabutnobutyeahbut" and you won't listen cos you are too busy scraping him off the sole of your shoe. Ruthlessness is the key.

Take care of yourself.

Kokopenny · 26/07/2023 08:26

Pair of utter skanks, you don’t need that in your life. I would tell people and humiliate them further

Shapemyeyebrows · 26/07/2023 09:15

The OW has some nerve!! Well done for blocking her, don’t give her the time of day. Same with the ex, he’s cheated on you for months, so that makes me think he wanted you to overhear that made up conversation. Maybe regretting it now though. You will be hurt now but in the long run you will realise you are better off without them both. You sound way too good him them.

TheCrystalPalace · 26/07/2023 09:22

Wow, you've had a lucky escape from this man. Just a shame that you wasted six years with him.

Brk · 26/07/2023 09:22

Thank god you found out what he’s like before you had kids with him.

Epidote · 26/07/2023 11:45

I bet 50p (I can't afford more) that those two arses will start a relationship together and another 50p that you are going to be Cruela de ville because you couldn't understand that they slept together several times. Oh dear! you can't realise now of the big favour they have done to you before buying anything with him but you will soon.

idrinkandiknowthings · 26/07/2023 13:12

"He said he did it so he could help our mutual friend get revenge on her ex."

I've heard some farcical reasons for infidelity but this takes the absolute biscuit!

pontipinemum · 26/07/2023 14:24

What does she mean hash it out! I'm glad you blocked her. Like really what on earth does she think she can say.

Ice cream really is a wonderful invention 😁

RedToothBrush · 26/07/2023 14:42

So you've lost a loser with form for cheating who can only come up with the excuse that he was just helping her make her ex jealous (hmm yes understands jealously of a third party but thinks it's fine to do to you)

And you've lost a loser who thinks that it's ok to sleep with her mates bf and then thinks she can just work things ok.

Yeah dodged two bullets there.

Beaverbridge · 26/07/2023 22:10

Good for you blocking skanky tramp. Hash out, what's to hash out?!. , Foxtrot Oscar. He's a total loser too. Onwards and upwards for you from now on.

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