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Original poster

Girls Night Out to see Barbie film - friend wants to bring her DH...

124 replies

SandyThumb · 24/07/2023 13:45

Just that really, and it's annoyed me.

Posted to our 'girls' group chat asking if anyone wanted to get together to go see the Barbie movie and friend (who seems more inseparable from her DH than the rest of us...) posted 'yes, 'Bob' and I can do X/Y/Z nights'.

I don't want 'Bob' there. Thought we could have a girls' night out, wear pink and have a laugh together. 'Bob' is friendly with my DH and if 'Bob' goes then my DH will assume he can come too, then it changes the whole dynamic.

FFS. What do I say?

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/07/2023 16:14

You didn't exactly make it clear that you wanted a girls night out. If you want a girls night out, say you want a girls night out.

SheRaaaaa · 24/07/2023 16:18

Just tell her: "girls only, sorry!"

SheRaaaaa · 24/07/2023 16:20

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/07/2023 16:14

You didn't exactly make it clear that you wanted a girls night out. If you want a girls night out, say you want a girls night out.

Surely it doesn't need to be specified. If I told my DH a load of my women friends were going to see Barbie, 1. He would most probably be glad he didn't have to go and see it with me and 2. Would assume its a girls night out anyway.

tattygrl · 24/07/2023 16:22

Let us know how she responds, OP! You're well within your rights to clarify that this is a girls' trip.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/07/2023 16:24

SheRaaaaa · 24/07/2023 16:20

Surely it doesn't need to be specified. If I told my DH a load of my women friends were going to see Barbie, 1. He would most probably be glad he didn't have to go and see it with me and 2. Would assume its a girls night out anyway.

Show quote history

Why doesn't it need to be specified? Barbie is meant to be a good film. As a man I want to go see it. I haven't because DP and DD went with DPs sister on Friday. I was like "Ooh, I'm in" and then they said it was a girls night so I left them to it..

If one of our couple friends said let's do something on a group chat, then I'd assume partners were invited unless they specified.

Pancake678 · 24/07/2023 16:30

My DP has the opposite. He moved away from his mates years ago. When he travels back for a catch up they bring whatever girl they are dating at the time.

It annoys me how couples cannot seem to have a bit of time apart.

Hoppinggreen · 24/07/2023 16:32

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 24/07/2023 16:14

You didn't exactly make it clear that you wanted a girls night out. If you want a girls night out, say you want a girls night out.

I believe it was in the group chat that is used to organise the ladies nights out

LolaSmiles · 24/07/2023 16:34

You didn't exactly make it clear that you wanted a girls night out. If you want a girls night out, say you want a girls night out
It was in a girls group chat, for a group of female friends.
When events for everyone are arranged, OP says there is a different chat.

Nobody should have to explicitly say " I was thinking we could go for coffee on Saturday for a catch up. Just to be clear Sandra this is an invite for the women in their chat, Steve isn't invited so please don't try to invite him along."

TheaBrandt · 24/07/2023 16:35

“Every night is girls night” you will get that if you’ve seen the film!

Tighginn · 24/07/2023 17:09

My friend turned up with her boyfriend in tow to see sex and the city, 🤔

mnahmnah · 24/07/2023 17:13

I had exactly the same situation except it was two people deciding to bring their daughters. Why can’t we have a kid free evening?!

LakeTiticaca · 24/07/2023 17:20

Just tell her straight. It's a girls night out.
I can't imagine any bloke wanting to see it. My DH would rather chop his own leg off than sit through a Barbie film 🤣
Sounds like Bob is controlling

TheaBrandt · 24/07/2023 17:21

My Dh really enjoyed it!

rookiemere · 24/07/2023 17:40

Tighginn · 24/07/2023 17:09

My friend turned up with her boyfriend in tow to see sex and the city, 🤔

Poor man, I hope at least it was the first one.

gannett · 24/07/2023 17:46

MN is so tied to gender stereotypes. Why would a man not want to see a critically acclaimed film that's a huge talking point right now? If a man was repelled by Barbie because he thinks dolls in pink dresses will give him cooties, he's not a man I want to be friends with, let alone as my partner.

Rigid "girls' night!"/"boys' night!" segregation does my head in too. Every social circle I'm part of consists of men and women and people go along to group events if they're interested and free, not because it's for people of their gender only. DP and I go to each other's friends' events if we want to, I enjoy it when he comes along and makes friends with my friends - makes life a lot easier down the line. Doesn't mean we're joined at the hip because there are plenty of times we leave the other to their own devices, but the reasons aren't because of some "no girls/boys allowed" bollocks. I can't actually imagine a social event where either one of us would be barred because of our gender.

If DP said he just wanted to catch up with university friends (for example) that'd be fair enough but if he ever said he was going on a "boys' night" - which he never has - I'd laugh in his face.

Burnamer · 24/07/2023 17:54

Men are indeed a homogeneous group and all like the same films. As you don’t fancy it, Bob is also sure to be dreading it.

diddl · 24/07/2023 17:55

Presumably it can't just be arranged for a night when they aren't bothered about being together?

Has anyone else said anything?

Are there plans for before/after?

Burnamer · 24/07/2023 17:56

billyt · 24/07/2023 14:37

Maybe I'm wrong...

But do men actually want to see this? You wouldn't get me within a million miles.

Men are indeed a homogeneous group and all like the same films. As you don’t fancy it, Bob is also sure to be dreading it.

usedtobeasizeten · 24/07/2023 17:59

Would your husband want to go?

SleepingStandingUp · 24/07/2023 18:00

Pussywilloww · 24/07/2023 13:50

They were probably going to see it together at some point, I don't really see the problem, you can't talk to each other at a cinema anyway.

But no one meets 3 minutes before the movie starts then leaves as soon as the credits roll of going with friends. Having someone else there changes the vibe

Crimeismymiddlename · 24/07/2023 18:32

No just tell her Barbies only! He really won’t like it anyway. Also, what is it with people who can’t enjoy a single second without their partner hanging about like a bad smell.

Xrays · 24/07/2023 18:38

Loving the Ken comeback!

Shamelessly waiting around to see what she says back. 🙈😆

Lili132 · 24/07/2023 18:40

gannett · 24/07/2023 17:46

MN is so tied to gender stereotypes. Why would a man not want to see a critically acclaimed film that's a huge talking point right now? If a man was repelled by Barbie because he thinks dolls in pink dresses will give him cooties, he's not a man I want to be friends with, let alone as my partner.

Rigid "girls' night!"/"boys' night!" segregation does my head in too. Every social circle I'm part of consists of men and women and people go along to group events if they're interested and free, not because it's for people of their gender only. DP and I go to each other's friends' events if we want to, I enjoy it when he comes along and makes friends with my friends - makes life a lot easier down the line. Doesn't mean we're joined at the hip because there are plenty of times we leave the other to their own devices, but the reasons aren't because of some "no girls/boys allowed" bollocks. I can't actually imagine a social event where either one of us would be barred because of our gender.

If DP said he just wanted to catch up with university friends (for example) that'd be fair enough but if he ever said he was going on a "boys' night" - which he never has - I'd laugh in his face.

Womem are allowed to have girls nights out you know?
And OP made it clear they also organise events for everyone and have another chat for it.

If all women turned up without their partners and only one brings hers then that changes dynamic completely.

GreyCarpet · 24/07/2023 19:09

gannett · 24/07/2023 17:46

MN is so tied to gender stereotypes. Why would a man not want to see a critically acclaimed film that's a huge talking point right now? If a man was repelled by Barbie because he thinks dolls in pink dresses will give him cooties, he's not a man I want to be friends with, let alone as my partner.

Rigid "girls' night!"/"boys' night!" segregation does my head in too. Every social circle I'm part of consists of men and women and people go along to group events if they're interested and free, not because it's for people of their gender only. DP and I go to each other's friends' events if we want to, I enjoy it when he comes along and makes friends with my friends - makes life a lot easier down the line. Doesn't mean we're joined at the hip because there are plenty of times we leave the other to their own devices, but the reasons aren't because of some "no girls/boys allowed" bollocks. I can't actually imagine a social event where either one of us would be barred because of our gender.

If DP said he just wanted to catch up with university friends (for example) that'd be fair enough but if he ever said he was going on a "boys' night" - which he never has - I'd laugh in his face.

That just sounds like you're protesting too much, tbh.

My partner and I go out with couples but sometimes I like to go out with the women on my own as he does with the men. Totally different dynamic.

Olive19741205 · 24/07/2023 19:19

If DP said he just wanted to catch up with university friends (for example) that'd be fair enough but if he ever said he was going on a "boys' night" which he never has - I'd laugh in his face

Do you understand how that makes you sound? If the sexes were reversed what do you think people would say?