...he'll be so grateful to have a naked woman in front of him, he won't care what you look like..."

[AlwaysAPleasure]

Why is this so often shared as a 'supportive' comment on here?

It's not true and I don't see how it can bolster anyone's confidence!

Someone posts it everytime a thread is started by someone who is insecure about their looks or body. It's just a crappy comment.

That's all. I was just thinking about it today and wondered why people say it.

*as a result of porn (not "men")

And a man that is pathetically grateful to have any woman, any woman at all, naked in front of him, is hardly likely to be a catch!

Those men are gross 🤮 women need to stop sleeping with men like that

I think the issue is that it’s often hard to tell if someone is this type of man until it’s too late — sometimes never. Out of curiosity I looked through the profiles of some of the most vocal ones and barring a few who are definitely ‘incels’ (the ideology, not the original meaning of the word), many seem like ‘normal’ people with regular hobbies, measured opinions on political issues etc. it’s just the bloody misogyny that they’ve normalised but know to hide when women are around!

What you describe op sounds like negging- telling someone you find attractive something negative about them so they are willing to put up with you because you’ve damaged your self esteem. Would you have shagged any of those men in bars that said that shit to you? Probably not, and they know it, so the only recourse they have is to try and put you down so you’d settle for them.

We live in a world with a very narrow beauty standard for women and most of us do not fit in it. It’s a really easy way to get at women and make them feel insecure. I think there’s research that suggests most people are in a relationship with someone of similar attractiveness, so these men aren’t settling for any warm body, it’s the women who need their self esteem boosting to see they are of equal right to enjoy themselves with someone of a similar attractiveness 😊

@Nousername94

Those men are gross 🤮 women need to stop sleeping with men like that

The men who do that aren't going to broadcast it to the "ugly" women they are looking to have sex with though!

I agree, it's horribly demeaning though.

@BarelyLiterate Love this!

Which thread is that?

Hmm probably but some of these men you can tell they are just after one thing. That is the type of man I would avoid

Men usually sift out at the pre dating stage. For example they may choose to just not swipe on anyone they perceive overweight.

It's an awful phrase. It implies that men are just dribbling, drooling sex obsessed creatures who are so undiscerning they will shag anything that moves regardless of their own preferences or standards. I expect better from men tbh.

The lack of self-esteem it implies is unattractive too, the idea that a man should be incredibly 'grateful' is just so ick, like you're doing him a favour with your presence instead of sex being a mutually desirable thing. It harks back to sexist ideas that women reluctantly 'give' sex to men, instead of participating fully in their own sexual pleasure.

And... it's just not true. You only need to hang around with men or spend some time in their spaces to realise that men absolutely do have preferences for a woman's body physically, just like women do. When a man strips off we don't feel so giddy with gratitude we have no feelings whatsoever about their physique. It might make someone feel better to think it but it just isn't true.

FuckTheLemonsandBail

I think it's an awful expression too.

My interpretation of it is a bit different to yours though.

Men obviously do have preferences on women's bodies and what they find attractive but what it means is he won't pass up on sex if it's on the table if he doesn't find the woman concerned attractive and he's feeling a bit horny. And also that men are quite happy to have sex with a woman they don't fancy if it means regular sex.

I don't think it means they are all just so grateful for the attention of a woman more that they're just relieved they've got somewhere to stick their dick.

@Nailswithhearts brilliant. Men can be so dense sometimes with these things. 'What have you done to your face, you look different?' used to be commonly heard this end when I used to wear makeup. 😃

this actually makes it even worse, and makes the original quote posted by OP even more gross :(

Because now its seems like its not only that men won't mind woman's appearance

There are some men who will actively pursue and have sex with women they perceive as unattractive. It's like putting a paper bag over the head of their partner and I sure would hate to be with someone who thinks Im gross but "pussy is a pussy"

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4856828-now-he-asked-me-out-now?reply=127913351

Well, it was a little more nuanced than that, but yeah, basically at that age my standards and self-esteem were way too low and I tolerated stuff I shouldn't have.

Okay... but: there is a big difference between "still going to have sex with you today, not run away screaming" and "find you really sexually attractive and want to do this again" and "think you are so attractive that this would be fulfilling for me for that aspect of a relationship in the long term".

This

Reading through this thread weight is a massive trigger for a lot of women and men know it and use it as a weapon against women to bring them down . When one charmer commented on my weight in the workplace and compared me to a co worker who was very slim I just reminded him he was challenged in the height department. He ignored me after that . 😆

Being insecure about a scar VS your entire body shape or weight are two very different things, though.

Nobody is getting turned off by a scar or stretch marks. But showing body naked if you're worried about your build is a totally different matter.

So yes, the worry is real. And men definitely do sleep with women they're not attracted to so the idea that 'he liked you before so why wouldn't he like you now' is a false assumption (sometimes).

Overheard in a bar , two young men talking about a woman they had both slept with , one said to the other " well any holes a goal mate "'.

Grim.

i think there is also an element of upbringing - women are often brought up to face and suck up all criticism. any negative reaction to an asshole comment is automatically labelled as "being too emotional" and "unable to accept honesty"

in the meantime, a man criticised for anything to do with his looks will have a full blown meltdown and retaliate with abuse silent treatment