...he'll be so grateful to have a naked woman in front of him, he won't care what you look like..."

[AlwaysAPleasure]

Why is this so often shared as a 'supportive' comment on here?

It's not true and I don't see how it can bolster anyone's confidence!

Someone posts it everytime a thread is started by someone who is insecure about their looks or body. It's just a crappy comment.

That's all. I was just thinking about it today and wondered why people say it.

I think this is true. Very few people fit the image even nearing perfection.

I think it's something that is trotted out to make women feel better. I think both sexes notice imperfections when they see the other person naked for the first few times, especially as they aren't used to seeing those things as yet. I also disagree that if you fancy someone clothed you will fancy them unclothed. It's a load of rubbish. Ive had several encounters where I categorically did not fancy a man once his clothes were off, one has the worst case of bum acne that you could imagine, horrific read and yellow bump everywhere. The other had thick stretch marks across his stomach and back. I understand that makes me shallow but no one can force attractiveness and imperfections such as 'tiger stripes' and body acne are not attractive. They may be tolerated but no person on this earth has ever thought wow I'm so turned on by the sag and stretch marks

I think it's fair to say that 56 year old Steve from OLD, with his soft belly, skinny legs and receding hairline is not going to realistically expect to pull a super model, and may indeed be delighted to see a woman naked for the first time in the 8 years since he got divorced.
I think its equally fair to say that 24 year old Jake who's hobbies are the gym and porn, and who pulls a different girl every Saturday because he looks like a Greek god is going to be a little less kind in his appraisal.
Most men will be somewhere in between. The trick is to choose wisely.

I can paint a whole room in our house a different colour and DH won't notice, so there's no way he's noticing my cellulite 🤷🏼‍♀️

No.
Many will settle and just watch what they want to see online.

And to add, they may forgive some cellulite, little scars, that’s not exactly being a porn star.
I’m sure women who have more ’flaws’ have a though time to find a man.

Supporting the quote in the OP then....the one that you said makes no sense?

Men don't care about body type nearly as much as we think when there's a naked woman willing to have sex infront of them.

Also, true for lots of women. Might aspire to land a Brad Pitt type, but most of us have had sex with 'normal' men with 'normal' bodies.

I don’t think it’s as simple as just being grateful that any woman is in front of them. But I do think that by the time you have sex with someone, you’re already attracted to them enough not to notice any ‘flaws’ (especially in the heat of the moment).

Next time you’re at the beach have a look round at the bodies. I did, I saw loads of really overweight men looking not that great. Plenty of overweight women too, but generally looking a little better and a bit slimmer - being objective here. Why the focus on women’s bodies?

Plenty of people comment on partners' bodies on here and get shot down in flames for suggesting that fat bellies and the like are a turn off. I think sex is made too much of a deal of. Literally couldn't get too excited by the idea of it. How does the average overweight male feel attractive enough to have sex. Blows my mind. Like yes I'm so sexy with my flab, come and blow me. Bleurgh.

There are all sorts of shapes/bodies/types/looks in porn. They are definitely not all the same.

The beauty industry and plastic surgery culture is there because there is a demand for it, but that doesn't mean that all men expect women to look like that. And while most women will care to some extent about their appearance most don't go for surgery and injections etc.

There's also a beauty industry/plastic surgery industry for men, and the gym body look, protein this and that, that doesn't mean that all women expect adonises or that's all that women find attractive.

Yes many say horrible things about gorgeous celebrities but surely in real life you see plenty of couples, most of those are attracted to each other, or they at least were when they first met! And most of the time when it stops it's down to issues in the relationship rather than the bodies changing.

As for your last comment, yes lots of people say that looks/physical attraction is highly important, but all that means is that they have to be attracted to their looks, which could mean anything.

Some of my friends have picked men who don't appeal to me physically in any way, but the man was their type, they fancied him, they were sexually attracted to him. The person only has to be attractive to the one they're with, not to the whole world!!

This is how it sounds to me too.

On those threads, there are also people saying that if he fancies you clothed, he'll fancy you unclothed. I agree with the poster who doesn't agree with this either. I've certainly fancied men clothed who I haven't fancied unclothed - hairy shoulders being the main issue!

And this Many will settle and just watch what they want to see online. I think there's an awful lot of truth in that.

In my adult life, I've only dated two men who didn't criticise my physical appearance/body. One was my ex husband and the other is my current partner. In the 10 years between my marriage ending and meeting my partner, I've dated and slept with a reasonable number of men 🤷🏻‍♀️ all of whom were critical at some point. Obviously, it didn't go any further after that!

So not only is it a crappy comment - once he's horny, he's not going to turn down a shag whatever he thinks of you - but it's also untrue!

The person only has to be attractive to the one they're with, not to the whole world!!

I don't know.

I dated a man when I was 19 who said his friends approved of me (he meant they thought i was 'fit'). I jokingly asked if he'd have dumped me if they hadn't. He answered, quite seriously, that he would have.

I put it down to him being young and immature. Except that I encountered similar from men in their 40s and 50s when I was single then too.

Even men who claimed to not care about physical perfection were able to identify all of my physical flaws that they supposedly didn't care about...

I agree. I don't think men are 'grateful'. Most think they can punch well above their weight. Sometimes the most critical are the ones who should be taking a long hard look in the mirror.
A few stretch marks and a bit of cellulite is not what many women worry about, it's the excess weight, rounded stomach and/or sagging breasts, things that are rather obvious.

It is true. At least, it is for me.

First man I went to bed with (afterwards) "you're right, you are fat".

What a charmer! 😕

I agree. I also agree with the OP that it's not true that if they fancy you in clothes, they fancy you without. Many women look very different in clothes. After all, we tend to select items that flatter us, emphasising our good points, camouflaging our flaws. Bras in particular can give an entirely different idea of the asthetic of breasts. Shape wear and well cut clothing can keep even the most severe sagging from being apparant.
Women who's only concern is that their partner will suddenly notice for the first time they're fat when they remove their clothes, are probably worrying unnecessarily. But others will know themselves that they look very different, and their concerns probably aren't entirely groundless. As you say, men can be very entitled.
Better advice in these cases is to encourage women to focus less on what the man wants (if he's disappointed, well, too bad! They'll be others who arent.) and more on what they want. Also on building some sort of relationship so you at least have some confidence your body isnt all that matters.

I’ve been on another huge forum long enough to know that lots of men do and will sleep with a woman they find ‘ugly’ because ‘pussy is pussy’ (this was on a sub with millions of members with comments like this getting thousands of upvotes and being regurgitated time and time again). Men do care about women’s bodies. Many just care more about having sex.

Tbh, I think I look OK. I actually think I have quite a nice body. I mean, Victoria's Secret is never going to banging my door down... but i think I'm ageing pretty well and I (used to) feel fairly confident.

I'm not sure about the confidence being attractive thing either. When I was at most confident - size 10/12 (not a perfect figure by any means but quite slim), happy to walk around naked, dressed attractively, walked confidently etc was when I attracted the most criticism.

A lot of men seemed put out that I wasn't more self deprecating and had the audacity to think I was ok as I was. And this wasn't just men I was dating. Random men I encountered seemed to think it necessary/appropriate/required to put me in my place too. Sometimes, they focused on a specific aspect of my body, sometimes it was a general 'fat' comment.

(I can't imagine any of those men being so 'grateful' to have a naked woman in front of them that they wouldn't care what she looked like!)

But the other side of it is that I don't feel I have the 'right' to act confidently or feel attractive anymore. I've 'learnt' that my body genuinely isn't acceptable and that trying to mask that with 'confidence' isn't the way to go. It feels like the physical equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and shouting "la la la, I can't hear you!" It doesn’t change what you look like or what others see.

My partner has never criticised me. He is selective in his compliments though. That's fair enough, I focus on certain aspects of him more than others when I compliment him. But I do find it hard to feel confident. I don't feel I have the right to, I'm worried about attracting further criticism and it it feels, I don't know, disingenuous?

I used to worry as an 18 year old my boobs were too small in proportion to my body. My bf at the time (did become my Dh, now my ExH!) said to me that yes, they were a bit small, but he only noticed with my clothes off!
I was very insecure in that relationship!

Lovely...

So the statement that a man will just be grateful to have a naked women in front of him and won't care what she looks like is probably true in many cases 🤷🏻‍♀️

Doesn't mean he doesn't see her flaws, or doesn't care, or still finds her attractive though.

Just that he has a boner that needs seeing to.

I wonder why so many women post it as a message of support then! They might as well be saying, "Don't worry, love. If he wants it badly enough, he'll fuck you anyway."

Tbh, I think I look OK. I actually think I have quite a nice body.

But what I think is quite a nice body (all things considered) is not what men want to see naked. And not what they have been led to believe they should expect or accept in a woman.

I think confidence can make a person more attractive. Women who own their bodies and act like they're beautiful, head high, clothing that stands out, outgoing positive personality, will definitely elevate themselves in the attractiveness arena over ones who try to blend into the wallpaper. The latter need to be very attractive naturally to get noticed at all. And there's definitely an element of people treating you as you expect to be treated. There is no such thing as the 'right' to feel attractive. You either do or you don't, and making a mental effort to be positive about your appearance (if looks matter to you) will be a happier place than deciding confidence isn't for the likes of you.
That said, unfortunately for a great many men, confidence in a woman is seen as threatening. These are the men like those you've met, who will hone in on any woman they believe may have a good opinion of herself and deliberately try to bring her down.

Yes, this.

In my experience (body image issues and all) my partners have been less focused on my perceived flaws than I am. I will say that this is especially the case with men a little older than me. They focus on me.