...he'll be so grateful to have a naked woman in front of him, he won't care what you look like..."

[AlwaysAPleasure]

Why is this so often shared as a 'supportive' comment on here?

It's not true and I don't see how it can bolster anyone's confidence!

Someone posts it everytime a thread is started by someone who is insecure about their looks or body. It's just a crappy comment.

That's all. I was just thinking about it today and wondered why people say it.

"Two men were through a hobby I used to do. There was a group of us (men and women) who used to go to the pub every week afterwards. These two men asked if they could come with us one week. They did and were apparently running me down to the others when I was at the bar. It was along the lines of a 'nice face, shame about the body' type comment. They weren't invited to the pub again.

Another time, I was at my local pub just dancing to the band that was playing. When I came off the dance floor. I'd been aware of a group of men standing by the dance floor watching and calling stuff but couldn't hear them so ignored. They approached me when i came off the dance floor to criticise my arse! 🤷🏻‍♀️"

I'm amazed by these examples.

The boys at schools insulted me for my ugly face, but as an adult it never happened and nobody has ever called me fat for my size 10-12 body.
I had a female acquaintance go on at me for being pear shaped once and having hips wider than my chest, but my reaction was that I don't think men mind things like that and, as others have mentioned, are generally less picky about women's bodies than other women can be and less observant. Maybe I've been kidding myself all this time!

The two hobby blokes really upset me tbh. I did that hobby every week. They'd been looking at me and thinking that every week to the point where they felt it would be positively received opinion when expressed to my friends!

Tbh, it was worse when I was a 10/12 than when I was a 16.

In fact, I didn't really get any comments as a 16. 12/14, some (the men seem to think they're doing you a favour).

10/12 criticism.

I'm a 10/12 again now and the only comments I get tend to be along the lines of looking good 'for my age' 🙄 (I'm approaching 50).

Looking forward to the days when no one has an opinion on my body, tbh.

They will tell you you're too thin, too. I remember that when I was younger. You can't win! Why they think it's fine to comment about weight I can't imagine.

Even my stepfather said I didn't have a good figure as I was too thin, in front of my mother who let him say that unchallenged. Though that's probably another thread as he really made me feel uncomfortable, with a mix of compliments and criticisms.

Me too. I’d like my partners to actually be attracted to me. Not settle for having sex with me because ‘pussy is pussy’.

I’d like my partners to actually be attracted to me. Not settle for having sex with me because ‘pussy is pussy’.

Same.

I wonder how many men do actually think this way.

Maybe those posters say it because it's actually true 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is a really interesting thread.

So I said right at the beginning that my husband says it to me. He’s not a crazy sex obsessed pervert who will shag anything, he generally means it in the context of… he’s in love with me, we are in a very committed and happy marriage with a great sex life, and that he isn’t put off by the changes to my body that come with life and the passing of time and the creating of children. Where sometimes I’ll panic about the constant losing battle that my boobs have had with gravity, for example, he’ll tell me it doesn’t make an iota of difference to him. Or at least that it’s going to take a lot more than that to undo decades of solid attraction.

As I said, I’ve never said this sort of thing to another poster on here, but I wonder if that’s why some do say it? That their husbands have said similar to them under the same sort of context?

Me too. I’d like my partners to actually be attracted to me. Not settle for having sex with me because ‘pussy is pussy’.

Lol exactly. The idea that men don't care basically means

"Ehh, get bum is a bit saggy and doesn't look great but it's better than nothing". Omg that is not comforting

Also suggests that he will cheat on you because they're just dumb cavemen who are happy to see a woman's body

You could be right @ReeseWitherfork but I'm inclined to think its based more in their experience of men who ARE genuinely grateful for the opportunity to have sex.
And that's not necessarily a bad trait in the man. Realistically the average man is not typically going to have a queue of perfect looking women to pick from. Some may find attracting a sexual partner nigh on impossible. If he's fortunate enough to find one, he probably will be less likely to be critical. Which isn't the same as anything will do, but more a case of healthy awareness of his own prospects. A little like a person with nothing would genuinely appreciate £10, in the way a wealthy person wouldn't.
(Obviously most OPs are not going to want to think of their date as being unattractive and unwanted by all other women though. So it's not really that comforting from that perspective either on reflection.)

i think this is a exaggeration, but the minor flaws people worry about generally don't bother their partners

unless said partner is really looking for something to pick on

things like scars (including stretch marks) generally don't bother men any more than most women are bothered by their husband's hairline changing :)

However - I've noticed that the less attractive (and more insecure) the man is the more likely it is that he will pick on things in women's appearance as a way to boost his ego

Sorry those things happened, the dancefloor guys sound like nasty drunken pack animals and glad the hobby men never got invited again!

I've had "if you were taller you'd be as good looking as xxxx" meant as a genuine compliment 😂

I'm totally sure your partner finds you gorgeous.

There also a weird thing going on here where the dating guys thought you were conventionally attractive enough for them to make these inappropriate comments. It does sound like a strange negging/entitlement thing.

I feel the same about the men at my work!

It's not even true in some cases. My ex from my 20s was very inexperienced with women and had very immature expectations of them, partly gleaned from porn. Despite the fact that I was the first woman he'd slept with, once we'd been together a while the subtle criticisms started, why wasn't I thinner, more petite, prettier, blonder, more compliant etc, and obviously that extended to the bedroom, where he seemed to nurture a wish that I looked more like a porn star naked - complete with 'shaven haven' (his words) - and had a very unappealing habit of grabbing my spare tyre during sex and going 'yuck'. Yeah, he's an ex for a reason.

I'm going to be accused of misandry but IMO that is most men's attitude to sex tbh.

I have had men tell me exactly that. They will have sex with anyone as long as they're getting some. Also, when at a bar etc looking 'to pull' they 'go ugly' because the 'ugly' woman will be grateful that someone wants to have sex with her.

On the other hand, I'm ugly and men aren't trying to get me into bed so I guess it's not all guys.

Once you reach middle age, they're not going to be able to tell if you've got stretch marks without their reading glasses on, anyway...

Overheard in a bar.

One man to another. “ If it’s in a glass, on a plate, or in a skirt, I’ll give it a go. “

@orangeyeahthatsright

and had a very unappealing habit of grabbing my spare tyre during sex and going 'yuck'. Yeah, he's an ex for a reason.

How the hell did that become a "habit"! After he's done that once, I can't understand why you'd EVER have sex with him again, let alone repeatedly come back
for more of the same and let a habit like this form!

This seems like the flip side of "men are so often keen for sex, they with sex with anything a pulse"... "women are often so keen to have a relationship, they will continue to have sex with their partners even when they behave like absolute shits"

It’s mostly true though. It’s not saying that all women look good to all men. It is saying, if you are dating someone they know what you look like with your clothes on so they’re hardly going to be shocked and disgusted when you take your clothes off. On the whole they know what to expect.

I don't think it is. Because there are women who post similar to that - he'll have a fair idea of what you look like.

I'm thinking specifically of the comments along the lines of - he'll be so grateful to have a naked woman in front of him/that someone wants to have sex with him that he won't care what you look like naked. That's not the same thing.

And no, it doesn't mean that all women will look good to all men. It means that as long as he's going to get to ejaculate into a woman, he doesn't care whether she's attractive to him or not.

There is literally a thread going on in the front page where people are saying physical look matter, a lot.
Go check it out. Very different attitude compared to this one.

this

i genuinely think this sort of "motivational quotes" don't check out. Sure stretch marks and some extra skin won't bother most people, but outside the desperate regulars at everyone's local pub, most people do fancy their partners

I think there are two aspects to this:

1. Its true that men dont notice every single flaw as much as we think they do and if a man asks you out, he already has a pretty good idea of what you might look like naked (most of us can tell that unless someone is wearing a tent/sack) and therefore is unlikely to recoil in horror when you do get naked. Women get way too worried about being "perfect" and finding it hard to believe a man could fancy them.
2. The above doesnt mean that men are akin to animals and will just have sex with anyone at any time and dont care what a woman looks like. If this were the case, then noone would ever be ghosted, noone would ever be dumped, noone would ever be turned down for a date because after all- men are just sooooo grateful to have someone, anyone, that they'd stay with literally anyone just for the chance of a regular shag.

I also think its quite a damaging view for women as well. It debases men to the point of "oh boys will be boys" lol and that is an incredibly low bar for anyone to accept. I would hope my husband was with me because he loves me and finds me attractive, not just because he's grateful for a shag and I could literally be replaced by anyone and it wouldnt matter to him as long as he could get his end away. I hate this expectation that men are just animals and therefore we shouldnt expect better of them. Of course some men do behave like that, but that is no more a universal truth than saying "all women are xyz" etc.

A man who is horny and hasn't had sex for a long time won't be fussy, but that's akin to saying a starving man won't care if you serve him cold gruel, just because he'll eat it anyway!

From a male perspective, obviously men care about how physically attractive a woman but, firstly, there are other things that make a woman attractive other than purely physical features, and secondly, just because they care doesn't mean they care so much they won't have sex, though even then, the woman has to be attractive enough.

For instance, very few men are going to find a super-morbidly obese 90 year old with pus oozing from weeping legions attractive, with all women's physical attractiveness being on a spectrum up to that point.

I can see both sides.

It's a spectrum; men are all different and also men can have different moods at different times.

But I do think it can often be true for a large group of men that, when the mood takes them, they will shag anything with a pulse.

But not all men all of the time.

I also agree with the point that younger men, who are themselves in peak physical condition, can be pickier, more judgemental and have higher expectations, largely as a result of men.

Generally, older men do not expect slim, toned, pert boobs, completely shaven, and are happy with a normal woman. (Again, not all men, but in general, I think).

I also think that what these ppl mean when they say "they'll be so happy just to have a naked woman..." is to be taken in the context of that they have a rough idea of what you will look like.

Nobody is going to look like Pamela Anderson clothed and then like Jabba the Hut as soon as they undress.

But yes, I can see both sides.