His friends are naked insta models half his age

[Newtothisanddonunderstand]

OLD: I’m early days, non exclusive, with a nice guy, early 40s. He’s not conventionally attractive but fun to be around and I do fancy him. We see each other every week/couple of weeks.

He has lots of female friends of all ages, and lots of them are young gym instagram model types who put endless videos of themselves in nothing but thongs in bed, or thong bikinis. He goes for dinner with them or takes them on his yacht and tags them and him together in photos, they put photos of them looking nice at the restaurant or the yacht but don’t put him in their photos (!)

He also goes for dinner with much older women friends. He asked once why I was jealous of his gym friends and not his octogenarian friends once. It was a good question! I think of myself as a feminist and I am (was?) fairly confident about my body and my looks, but I find myself really judging these women using instagram as their own personal page 3, and feeling insecure about his friendships with them.

Is that a stupid reason to cut contact with him!? I can’t articulate it “because you’re friends with hot people!?” sounds insane. Thank you MN!

It would ping red flags for me.

It's really gross, and I would definitely end it, sorry OP. I would point out to him that most people do not have hoardes of bikini models as friends, and suggest that the yacht might have something to do with it? Does he think they're hanging out with him because of his sense of humour?

What are you doing with such a weirdo? Get rid!

End it with this guy and raise both your relationship bar and boundaries higher than current levels.

He must know! He says he isn’t interested in them that way, and that they are gold diggers and he wouldn’t want to be with them, they’re just friends.

It just makes me uncomfortable, I wouldn’t employ anyone whose instagram was 99% skin. And then I feel like a bad feminist for thinking they should cover up!

Just finish it, it's ridiculous and stupid. He thinks he is a celebrity.

I’ve got the ick for you! I wouldn’t take this man seriously personally, is there depth to their relationships? Or is it superficial and he likes ‘interesting’ women on his arm? Is he himself an ‘influencer’?

Not my kind of thing

Open your bloody eyes!

He's a perv old letch who probs has cameras all over his boat. Or is he the online pimp?

"because you're a superficial twat who is desperate for attention and is prepared to buy it" is a very good reason to stop dating someone

I'd assume he was a sugar daddy.

I’m so confused but glad to read these comments.

this is only my second OLD “connection” which felt nice, the first one ended hilariously (you can search my other thread!)

He has loads of friends and a lot of his male friends also have accounts like this - naked and muscular on tropical beaches etc. I don’t care about those accounts 😂

he isn’t an influencer but is always posting instagram stories because his main business is tech related. The yacht is his side business, although from what I can work out he has only had one paying customer so far, he goes out on it most days with friends. He hasn’t taken me on it…

he sounds like every other annoying perv who sends hearts and "hello beautiful" messages on instagram

Def red flags, he fancies the insta models ick ick, but in reality he's only getting dates from the older women, passing them off as 'friends' I'd run a mile.

I don’t think they’re dates, they’re always in groups, and his business is connected to the elderly and a lot of his friends are from that. The insta models also seem to come in hordes. They use him and his yacht to get insta fodder

So weird that your ire is directed at these young women who you describe in fairly rude terms, and not the pervy old bloke.

Feminist, you say?

Sounds like he’s using them for an ego boost. He also sounds shallow and vapid. Much like the models he’s friends with, no doubt.

Dump him and find someone more on your level.

I think it’s abundantly obvious why you’d feel uncomfortable with the instagram arse flashers and not with the octogonerian dinner dates. It’s not deep is it.

He also goes for dinner with much older women friends

Well at least he's equal opportunities lol

and he is using their presence to boost his ego and ED

what do you want us to say? that these models are at fault and this creep is genuinely nice?

he wouldn't touch any of his non-model friends with a 6ft pole if he could get any one of those models to be seriously interested in him

LOL

Is he likewise using the young gym goers/models to advertise & boost his yacht business?

I'm going to depart - very unusually for me - from the critical view of this as sleaze etc and say that;

Because he had older friends too/of all ages, because he had male gym bunny & modelly/posey friends too, and because the photos etc kind might promote his yacht business... Maybe this isn't too bad

2 things stand out here .
He has a yacht
His insta model friends never include him in their photos on the yacht.
They are using him to look good .
He enjoys the attention .
None of the above would be happening if he didn't have a yacht 😉
If you want an exclusive relationship find someone else

Like you said you’re non -exclusive and friends”, he seems to have plenty of them and you just joined his “yacht club of non exclusive friends”. Nothing wrong if he’s happy but doesn’t sound much like he’s going to be upgrading you to serious relationship and he doesn’t sound like relationship material either. Having Instagram girls as half of your friend and octogenarian women as the other half makes him an interesting guy. I may keep him as friend and enjoy his yatch only. Not all relationships with men need to turn into something serious.

Sorry but something doesn’t quite add up here. He must be organising some sort of hook up thing for money. Introduction agencies maybe? I just wouldn’t want to get involved.