His friends are naked insta models half his age

[Newtothisanddonunderstand]

OLD: I’m early days, non exclusive, with a nice guy, early 40s. He’s not conventionally attractive but fun to be around and I do fancy him. We see each other every week/couple of weeks.

He has lots of female friends of all ages, and lots of them are young gym instagram model types who put endless videos of themselves in nothing but thongs in bed, or thong bikinis. He goes for dinner with them or takes them on his yacht and tags them and him together in photos, they put photos of them looking nice at the restaurant or the yacht but don’t put him in their photos (!)

He also goes for dinner with much older women friends. He asked once why I was jealous of his gym friends and not his octogenarian friends once. It was a good question! I think of myself as a feminist and I am (was?) fairly confident about my body and my looks, but I find myself really judging these women using instagram as their own personal page 3, and feeling insecure about his friendships with them.

Is that a stupid reason to cut contact with him!? I can’t articulate it “because you’re friends with hot people!?” sounds insane. Thank you MN!

This. 👏👏

She’s not annoyed at the girls, she’s annoyed at him and having second thoughts about taking this relationship further hence the reason she posted. If she envisions her future as part of a harem while tanning on a yatch Sorrounded by Instagram girls she should give this guy a chance 🤣

I think of myself as a feminist and I am (was?) fairly confident about my body and my looks, but I find myself really judging these women using instagram as their own personal page 3

Firstly, your not a feminist. These women are hustling, good for them. Its a tough old world out there.
Secondly, you have made many excuses for this man who is more than happy for these young women to take whatever he's offering. He's a creep. I know he's a creep, these young women know he's a creep. Everyone knows he's a creep, yet here you are, desperately trying to make excuses for him.
You are not a feminist. You are a women who, like many other women, is trying to overlook creepy behaviour due to your need to be in a relationship. He wouldn't be for me. He needs the attention of women to get him through the day. These women have the right idea, dont be the daft sod that stands in the background dealing with his nonsense.

She hasn’t even said she’s annoyed… she’s just said there’s something about it she’s not quite sure about in terms of considering a relationship with him.

I mean it’s hardly an unfathomable mystery is it – it’s fair to say there’s something just a little sleazy about it.

Is he a gigolo?

Unless those Instagram girls are wealthy and paying him for his time (i doubt) I don’t see how this man could be a gigolo? Unless those 80 year old women he hangs out pay for his bills? 🤣

I don't buy it. I think she doesn't like her not boyfriend looking at Insta level women and has come on to disingeniously encourage a good old slagging off of these women who have done nothing wrong, all with a "Oh is it me? am I silly?" and claims of being a feminist.

Just re read her first post.
She is evidently annoyed with them.
You can't miss it.

Of course he sounds like he WANTS her to be jealous too.

But op has gone full 'pick me'. She thinks she doesn't have the right to be annoyed by a shitty man who hangs out woth women half his age on boats. He's convinced her somehow that these are friends and she is jealous if she has a problem with it.

So rather than being annoyed at him, because she feels she has no right, she is annoyed at the women. And herself.

Wouldn't be surprised if the relationship is very emotionally abusive. I mean, calling your partner jealous for having a problem with your creepy af behaviour is manipulative as fuck on its own.

I think some of you are overlooking the part that nothing OP posted appears to indicate he is actually interested in her ;)

Maybe as one of his dinner dates, but seems like she is miles off being invited to the yacht, let alone being made an actual girlfriend

Yeah have to agree with this. And the conversations between sleazy and OP are very pick me.

’he asks why i’ve got a problem with the 20 yo insta models and not the 80 yo female clients… if i’m not sexist’

I mean…

you don’t buy what? that it’s sleazy?

why shouldn’t she have a problem with it.

plenty would.

@Newtothisanddonunderstand this would be a no from me. A guy who surrounds himself with naked women whatever the reason would not be the kind of man I see a future with. I’m surprised you have got this far in with him
considering I remember you from your first “grandad” post. You sound like 2 different people!

No, I dont buy that she needs to ask. I think shes asking innocent questions so we will all pile on and she can be vindicated in being horrible about these girls who have done nothing wrong.

@WildUnchartedWaters you mean like your doing to the OP right now?

@WildUnchartedWaters Are you quite alright? You seem to be off on a different agenda here.

No, I didn't ask any questions.
I answered the question asked of me. Hope that helps.

I'm not encouraging anyone to do anything. I'm having an opinion like everyone else on this thread.

Unlike the many pages of talk about Paris Hilton and co?

Yes, I'm fine thanks.

He's a sad creepy middle aged man who provides a glamorous backdrop for young womens selfies in return for a change to sleeze over them.
If it wasn't for the yacht these women wouldn't give this sad creep the time of day, much less pretend to be his friend. And if it wasn't that he got to see them in their thongs he'd not pretend to be their friend either.
Honestly OP, just associating with this man would feel like I was demeaning myself.

Alright thought police 👍

I'm not policing anyone, just aired an opinion.
Its others who are policing me!