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Original poster

His friends are naked insta models half his age

120 replies

Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 10:45

OLD: I’m early days, non exclusive, with a nice guy, early 40s. He’s not conventionally attractive but fun to be around and I do fancy him. We see each other every week/couple of weeks.

He has lots of female friends of all ages, and lots of them are young gym instagram model types who put endless videos of themselves in nothing but thongs in bed, or thong bikinis. He goes for dinner with them or takes them on his yacht and tags them and him together in photos, they put photos of them looking nice at the restaurant or the yacht but don’t put him in their photos (!)

He also goes for dinner with much older women friends. He asked once why I was jealous of his gym friends and not his octogenarian friends once. It was a good question! I think of myself as a feminist and I am (was?) fairly confident about my body and my looks, but I find myself really judging these women using instagram as their own personal page 3, and feeling insecure about his friendships with them.

Is that a stupid reason to cut contact with him!? I can’t articulate it “because you’re friends with hot people!?” sounds insane. Thank you MN!

OP posts:
aflix · 17/07/2023 12:11

So the boat belongs to his sugar daddy? I'm a bit confused.

Original poster
Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 12:13

Rich older male friend… let’s him have full use of it. just a joke about it he sugar mummy comments.

OP posts:
FrivolousTreeDuck · 17/07/2023 12:16

This gets more confusing with every post. His having a 'sugar daddy' would be more off-putting for me than his being friends with sexy young women.

NoBrainer · 17/07/2023 12:17

"So many prejudices and insecurities coming out here OP, many young women I know made a lot of money from instagram/onlyfans/social media and become successful entrepreneurs."

Dear lord 🙄 using this line of attack against the OP is typical misogynistic undermining. Being an entrepreneur just means you take risks in the hope of making money. The women you know have been successful because they don't mind selling their bodies for cash. Good for them, an age old way for a woman to make money. Nothing new there. Doesn't mean women who choose not to do this or disapprove of it are prejudice or insecure, quite the reverse I would think they have values, integrity and intelligence.

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 12:21

Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 11:46

@WildUnchartedWaters not my partner, slow down! This thread is to help me work out that i have a good enough reason not to want him to be.

And in answer to your other question- I recruit. I wouldn’t employ them because work with teenagers and I’m constantly fighting a losing battle to make young girls believe they have a value beyond their sex appeal!

I dont really know what else to say. Your views are appalling. It worries me you work with teens yet need a thread to help you about tje man you are seeing, who you appear to have no opinions on and just belittle the women.

littlebopeepp234 · 17/07/2023 12:21

Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 10:54

He must know! He says he isn’t interested in them that way, and that they are gold diggers and he wouldn’t want to be with them, they’re just friends.

It just makes me uncomfortable, I wouldn’t employ anyone whose instagram was 99% skin. And then I feel like a bad feminist for thinking they should cover up!

Well he would say that wouldn’t he! He’s not going to own up to being a sleaze!

Taking these girls on a yacht? So he’s actually in contact with them and meets up with them then! Sorry but I wouldn’t date him, he’d be gone

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 12:22

NoBrainer · 17/07/2023 12:17

"So many prejudices and insecurities coming out here OP, many young women I know made a lot of money from instagram/onlyfans/social media and become successful entrepreneurs."

Dear lord 🙄 using this line of attack against the OP is typical misogynistic undermining. Being an entrepreneur just means you take risks in the hope of making money. The women you know have been successful because they don't mind selling their bodies for cash. Good for them, an age old way for a woman to make money. Nothing new there. Doesn't mean women who choose not to do this or disapprove of it are prejudice or insecure, quite the reverse I would think they have values, integrity and intelligence.

Ironic that the above poster is accused of misogyny when you have views like that.

RedHelenB · 17/07/2023 12:24

Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 11:05

I’m so confused but glad to read these comments.

this is only my second OLD “connection” which felt nice, the first one ended hilariously (you can search my other thread!)

He has loads of friends and a lot of his male friends also have accounts like this - naked and muscular on tropical beaches etc. I don’t care about those accounts 😂

he isn’t an influencer but is always posting instagram stories because his main business is tech related. The yacht is his side business, although from what I can work out he has only had one paying customer so far, he goes out on it most days with friends. He hasn’t taken me on it…

You sound jealous and as though you only want him for his money. And yes, the younger, hotter models do have an advantage over you in this instance.

chatelai · 17/07/2023 12:24

OP, you seem to have your eyes wide open.

I'm going to buck the trend here and say that if you're having fun, then stay non-exclusive and enjoy yourselves. I wouldn't get any more serious until you are more sure of him, and what his lifestyle actually involves.

The relationship may not turn out to have longevity, or be traditional falling in love and settling down, but it could be hell of a lot of fun while it lasts!

Original poster
Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 12:27

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 12:21

I dont really know what else to say. Your views are appalling. It worries me you work with teens yet need a thread to help you about tje man you are seeing, who you appear to have no opinions on and just belittle the women.

Show quote history

your third post now in increasingly bitter tones and full of accusation that I’m being rude without any actual quote of what I’ve said that is rude. I won’t engage with you again because I suspect you’re a little tetchy about something unrelated.

Would you like your teen children to see their teachers naked on public instagrams? If so, mine shouldn’t be the teens you are worried about.

i have plenty of opinions on him I don’t need to share with you.

OP posts:
ANewAdventure · 17/07/2023 12:29

First rule of dating: you are not unreasonable to turn anyone down for any reason. Don’t stay in a situation you feel uncomfortable with because you’re worried that you’re not being fair, or kind, or feminist enough.

That out of the way, the off putting thing to me is the shallowness of the whole situation. I couldn’t care less if some woman wants to post bikini photos, but if that’s her whole personality then I can’t imagine being friends with her. Similarly it sounds like he values many people for their looks and insta-worthiness, which is extremely unappealing to me!

WildUnchartedWaters · 17/07/2023 12:32

Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 12:27

your third post now in increasingly bitter tones and full of accusation that I’m being rude without any actual quote of what I’ve said that is rude. I won’t engage with you again because I suspect you’re a little tetchy about something unrelated.

Would you like your teen children to see their teachers naked on public instagrams? If so, mine shouldn’t be the teens you are worried about.

i have plenty of opinions on him I don’t need to share with you.

Show quote history

I'm not bitter at all.

It's bad enough we need to make your opinions for you, now you need your own words pointed out.

Feel free to come on and pretend to be innocent and wide eyed and be misogynistic and awful about other women. Just dont expect people not to see through you. I'm not remotely surprised you're not engaging.

Your deflection about insta is odd. And fwiw, if god forbid you are a teacher, your not boyfriend living this lifestyle would be the same argument.

Dump him , dont dump him, but if you need MN to do it for you once youvr had adequate abuse of these women written for you, that's worrying.

TheoTheopolis23 · 17/07/2023 12:45

Paris Hilton became a millionaire thanks to a home made blow- j-ob video

Paris Hilton was already a millionaire due to her family.

And her BJ video wouldn't have been of much interest to anyone if she was just another random blonde amateur porn actress; it was because she was a rich, privileged princess type socialite that it became famous/notorious.

Men wanted to see little rich girl, out of their league, sucking dick. Get it. that's how lots of ken think, how they're motivated.

TheoTheopolis23 · 17/07/2023 12:47

Also you say it like it's a good thing or a commendable thing, it's not - it's seedy, cringey exploitative etc.

Sandra1984 · 17/07/2023 12:50

Bookworm20 · 17/07/2023 12:05

Paris Hilton became a millionaire thanks to a home made blow- j-ob video.

Haha, really? OK then. Being an heir to a 14.2billion dollar company didn't have anything to do with it then? or her teen modelling career? Or her reality TV stints? But yes you are right, she made millions simply from giving some bloke a BJ, before that she was just an ordinary girl from a 2 bed semi. Seriously 🙄

From Wikipedia:
the Simple Life(2003–2007), in which she co-starred with her friend Nicole Richie, and a leaked 2003 sex tape with her then-boyfriend Rick Salomon, later released as 1 Night in Paris (2004), catapulted her to global fame.

so yes, the porn video helped her to gain that et” dumb blond” fame. Life would prove that she didn’t had one single bone of dumb. Kim kardashian followed her porn video example and became another millionaire, she was a total stranger till that porn video came out.

I’m really not encouraging women to do porn videos, not at all, my point is : don’t stereotype or underestimate women as “dumb” for playing the “dumb sexy bombshell “ act.

Nicole Richie - Wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicole_Richie

Sandra1984 · 17/07/2023 12:54

Sorry I don’t know why that Nicole Ritchie link got published in my post. But if a typo error.

in any case yatch boy doesn’t really sound like a catch TBH…

oi0Y0io · 17/07/2023 12:55

He sounds a bit 'Jeffrey Epstein' to me 🤢

TheoTheopolis23 · 17/07/2023 12:57

Into the bargain, to my understanding Paris Hilton didnt leak that video - purposefully or "accidentally" , one of her exes leaked it and betrayed her trust you make money off her.

So mentioning her like it's a positive thing is a totally fallacy on all fronts.

As for the 'entrepreneurs" you mention..... Entrepreneurs in what exactly??

Everyone is a entrepreneur and CEO now adays.

Sell a protein shake or fake eyebrows cause of your insta pics, you're an entrepreneur... Ok.

How much turnover do they have.

TheoTheopolis23 · 17/07/2023 12:59

*to make money

Sandra1984 · 17/07/2023 13:00

I also find interesting the fact the OP’s potential boyfriend labels those girls as gold diggers yet he has a sugar daddy paying him for a yatch. Too many inconsistencies.

Original poster
Newtothisanddonunderstand · 17/07/2023 13:01

@ANewAdventure thanks - you’ve articulated it perfectly and you’re totally right, I don’t need a reason!

I find it problematic some posters are assuming I want his money (I have a lot more money!) or that I must be older and less attractive. I’m about 4 years older and very attractive but it’s the least interesting thing about me! My friends are all gorgeous but we’d feel like arrogant dicks taking photos like that of each other. It’s shallow (to me), and shallowness is unattractive (to me) and so he’s sort of become less attractive by association.

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 17/07/2023 13:02

Ewww

mindutopia · 17/07/2023 13:03

Hangers-on. I had a sort of friend who was a bit like this. Rich, had a yacht, big penthouse, nice holidays. Had a million 'Instagram' esque 'friends' (this was before Insta days, but you get the idea). He was very plain, pretty boring, middle-aged. He was a friend of a friend who was in my social circle so we'd often run into each other places and I'd get invited back for parties with the rest of our mutual friends. But he was truly not very interesting, hence why I didn't spend much time around him. He did have a million model types clambering about the yacht every weekend though. I don't think they were escorts (though possible some of them may have been on occasion), but I think he was just rich and insecure and it was the only way to have glamorous people around him. It was a bit icky though. I couldn't have imagine dating him, would have been a real turn off.

Screamingabdabz · 17/07/2023 13:03

Jongleterre · 17/07/2023 11:41

If he recognises that they are gold diggers and are just using him then his continuing to wine and dine them at his expense shows him as being a needy and vain individual who needs his ego stroked.

…And he enjoys ogling their T&A no doubt when they’re in bikinis on his yacht.

They’re not his ‘friends’ if he’s calling them gold diggers. They’re fodder for his wank bank.

Sandra1984 · 17/07/2023 13:07

@TheoTheopolis23 Into the bargain, to my understanding Paris Hilton didnt leak that video - purposefully or "accidentally" , one of her exes leaked it and betrayed her trust you make money off her.

True, I really don’t know what she was thinking letting herself being taped having sex by some low level wanna be Hollywood pimp when she was already rising as reality show star, but the video really ended up helping her “dumb sexy blond” public perception.