Wtf???

[Notagain101]

It's 4am and for a third night I am awake. My DP is also awake and is sat in the other room again.

I don't know where to begin. I left an abusive marriage years ago. Mostly psychological which turned physical on one occasion which was the end of the marriage.

I have been with my DP a few years but we have only recently moved in together. In the last two weeks we have had two massive fights about the same subject. He seems to have become a different person overnight. He is stuck on these thoughts that I have said things I know I have not said. He has literally ripped me apart making all sorts of comments and accusations about me as a person.

He keeps going round in circles, one minute saying he knows he's wrong about what he is saying but then in the next convo bringing it all back up again. He says that his thoughts are facts because he thinks them. I got to the point last night where I said I am not defending myself anymore. If you don't hear what I'm saying and you really believe your thoughts about me then why are you still here.

Anyway I am feeling like I am losing my mind. Everything I say just gets twisted and used against me and I feel like I'm going crazy.

I phoned a helpline yesterday. I needed a sounding board as I didn't know up from down. The counsellor told me that from what I was describing that she felt I was being gaslighted by my DP. I thought maybe it was in my head due to my past abusive relationship.

I don't know where to turn now. I am living with a man who clearly doesn't like me very much. When I say that it should end due to this he backtracks. I don't have a question to ask really. Just brain dumping here as I can't think straight.

Everything that everyone else has said but also he’s keeping you awake at night trying to have arguments. This is part of the abuse. Sleep deprivation will wear you down to the extent that you’ll agree with him for a quiet life.

Once he’s out and it’s all finished it would be worth carefully reviewing the last 3 years and looking for moments you may have overridden your initial response to things he has said and done.
Identifying these weak points will allow you to strengthen your shark cage for any would-be partners in the future.

My ExH was like this - seemed like he was determined to find fault with anything and everything I said and would claim I had said things when I hadn't. I believe in retrospect he was somewhat depressed but he was also planning on leaving me and couldn't get up the courage to discuss it. He had already had an affair a few years before. You end up thinking you are going crazy and walking on eggshells. Ask him to leave as this is no way to live. He has a problem and he needs to solve it for himself. When they are like this they will drag you down and make you feel useless and the biggest bitch ever.

Sounds like he got cold feet and is acting up. You need to draw your line in the sand op. If he gets away with treating you like this then it will be miserable. Don't worry about where he goes. He's a big boy and can sort himself out.

Please get him out now.

Don't waste another second.

You have spent too long being abused in another relationship to even ENTERTAIN the idea of staying with him here. No way 🙅🏽‍♀️

Especially if it's started within 2 weeks of hun moving in.

You've been through too much to waste 1 second more potentially exposing yourself to further abuse. Boundaries are everything and you need to assert them now.

If you don't and you give him a pass this time, it will only get worse and you know it. Then you're hooked into another long term abusive relationship in YOUR HOUSE.

I'm sorry this has happened. Who knows what's going on with him but your mental health and life needs protecting.