3 years too soon to be engaged?

[3YearsIn]

Boyfriend proposed last weekend and I said yes. It was beautiful, low key and we are both so happy. We celebrated 3 years together in April, and have been living together since last August/September

My sister told me today she thinks we’re moving too fast, and that 3 years is too soon to be engaged. We don’t plan on actually getting married until 2025 (due to work commitments), so we’d be 5 years in by the time we get married. Sister still thinks this is too soon. For context, I’m 33, boyfriend is 34. My sister is older than both of us but had a 10 year relationship before getting engaged.

Not at all!! Congratulations 🎉

Sister sounds jealous!

Absolute rubbish.

Your sister is wrong. 3 years is a decent amount of time at your ages.

My best friend was engaged at 6 months, married and 18 and celebrated 12yrs married recently. It’s not too soon at all. Just right

Not at all every one is different. I met my husband Nov 2016, we were married July 2019. Congratulations and enjoy your engagement 💛

Congratulations- not too soon xx

Also this isn’t a pandemic relationship. While we did start officially dating in April 2020, restrictions in our area weren’t as tight so we were able to meet up and have “dates” before making it serious. We had known each other since November 2019 as friends.

Three years is great timing! We got engaged after about 9 months and married a year later. I concede it was quick and with hindsight maybe not the most sensible decision! However, we've been happily married nearly a decade now. Three years sounds like a very sensible amount of time. Many congratulations!

I think a year living together is probably worth at least 2 living apart!

My sister is very protective. Every boyfriend I’ve had has had to go through hoops to impress her. She gets along really well with my boyfriend, to the point he’s actually surprised she thinks it’s too soon when he asked her about engagement ring styles before he bought the ring (as she knows my “style” and what I’d like)

We were engaged after 5 weeks, that was quick! Married a year later and still together 18 years later. 3 years is plenty of time to get to know each other.

Your 33 not 23. Good for you. Unless there's something she's not sure about him- ask her if you dare, but otherwise congratulations!

I'd have thought it's slightly longer than average - engaged after two years then married a year later.

Although we were engaged after four months and married a year after engagement.

Not remotely too soon, your sister sounds, honestly, quite interfering. I’m sorry that she doesn’t respect you as an adult to make your own choices.
Congratulations 💐 fwiw DH and I got engaged after 2.5 years and that felt entirely normal and not rushed at all. We’re very happy indeed. Wishing you all the best for your future married life!

No, I’d say 3 years is pretty ideal. I’ve always thought it a bit insulting for someone to take 10 years to decide whether their partner’s good enough for them to commit to.

I have asked her and she said he’s not the issue. She’s all for us getting married but thinks we should wait 10 years like she did. Except she met her DH at the age of 21. I wasn’t so lucky - lots of frogs before I met my prince 😭😂

I'm not engaged/married but we moved in together after 3 years and had our first baby after 5 years. I'd say it was fairly average. Certainly wouldn't bat an eyelid if it was someone I knew.
Congratulations!

Your sister's talking nonsense. Congratulations!

Does your sister always think you should live by arbitrary rules that she sets, or is this a one off?

What?? No, this is your sister’s stuff. DH and I were 18 months in when we got engaged and no one batted and eyelid.

It would be quite fast if you were in your early 20s but things move faster in your 30s for obvious reasons. Your sister might have some difficulty accepting you settling down for some reason. Does she currently have the only grandchildren?

That's crackers it's a totally normal middle of the road time to get engaged! Anything less than a year is quick in my book but plenty of people 'just know' and are successful!

It’s not a one off. As another commenter said, she doesn’t really view me as an adult. I had some medical issues growing up, and I think she still views me as a vulnerable child. I have my own house, career, relationship, etc but it doesn’t seem to count. I always joked that it’s not my dad that boyfriends should worry about, it’s my sister.

Congratulations!
I started seeing my DH New Year, were engaged by the autumn and married by the summer - 18 months from first date to wedding. We're celebrating our 30th anniversary soon. :-)

Aww I love hearing all your success stories of shorter relationships/engagements. I suppose it doesn’t necessarily matter how long the relationship is before marriage when you know its right.

I was just speaking to my sister and told her that her concern is getting to me. She felt really bad. She actually acknowledged that it’s hard for her to see me grow up, and she does tend to resort to protective mode too fast. I reminded her that just because we got engaged last weekend doesn’t mean we’re getting married next weekend. We plan to have a 2 year engagement (as I said there’s work commitments, and we’re in the process of renovating the house), and my sister agreed that’s a reasonable amount of time to be engaged.

She said she does respect that I am an adult, but part of her just can’t let go of the baby she knew (she’s a bit older than me). She’ll work on it.

She also said she absolutely adores my husband (!!!) to be, and can’t wait for him to officially be family. She even ended the conversation asking when we’d be giving her a niece or nephew 😂