3 years too soon to be engaged?

[3YearsIn]

Boyfriend proposed last weekend and I said yes. It was beautiful, low key and we are both so happy. We celebrated 3 years together in April, and have been living together since last August/September

My sister told me today she thinks we’re moving too fast, and that 3 years is too soon to be engaged. We don’t plan on actually getting married until 2025 (due to work commitments), so we’d be 5 years in by the time we get married. Sister still thinks this is too soon. For context, I’m 33, boyfriend is 34. My sister is older than both of us but had a 10 year relationship before getting engaged.

I was engaged after 6 months, been married almost 25 years and we were very similar ages to yourselves. Congratulations.

Ey up @tryingsomethingnew nowt wrong with being married at 23 that was me and celebrating 10 years married together this year 😅

In all honesty op it's your life and as long as your happy who cares!! 3 years is ample time to know if your compatible

Congratulations

If you've had a full-on relationship for three years and known each other for longer, that's plenty of time to get to know each other enough. What does she think happens in year 4, 5 or 6 that makes a difference?

Asked with kindness, why are you worried about someone elses opinion when you are in your 30s?

Eh?!

How can you set a date for a wedding and be actively planning it if you're not engaged? That makes no sense at all!

So she thinks you shouldn’t get married until you are 40?!

Am guessing you are thinking about having kids?

I’m always gobsmacked by some people. So many seem to think that the way they did things is the only way! Even when it wasn’t even necessarily a great plan.

Lol I was engaged after a month and married a year later. Still happy 14 years later.

I'd say 3 years is a pretty normal timeline.

If you were sure, you wouldn't care what anyone else thought though. How do you feel?

I was married and pregnant within 2 years of meeting my dh. I think 3 years is a normal amount of time to get engaged.

OP Many congratulations on your engagement. but it seems to me as if your sister has several very worrying issues. Family or not, it's NOTHING TO DO with her when you choose to get engaged or get married. Especially since your planned timescale is very leisurely.
I'd steer very, very well clear of talking about anything to do with engagements/ marriages with her. I'd say make you own plans, with solicitors if you want,, but offer her no discussion. You and your fiance are the ones making all the decisions. Of course you will make them to fit in as best you can with your friends and relatives and their wants and needs, but your sister does not and should not have a veto.

Not unless there is a MASSIVE backstory in which case, I think readers would be feeling justified to be more than a little bit annoyed.

I got engaged to my husband after a year! Your sister definitely sounds jealous!

Congratulations OP. Enjoy the wedding planning 🥰❤️

I think the average is 2-3 years. Sounds like she didn't like having a 10 year wait and is putting her thoughts on to you to make herself feel better.

Your sister is on glue.

18 months is about the length of time someone can keep a mask on. So minimum 20 months of dating before a proposal is ideal.

Age 25, final development of the cerebral cortex for mature decision-making.

Live together for at least a year before starting to book wedding related things. There is a sunk cost fallacy, so for the sake of a £1000 deposit and save the dates sent out, people might be reluctant to end a relationship which should end.

Good luck, OP.

We got engaged 1 year and 10 months in to our relationship. I was 20 and he was 21. That was 18 odd years ago now. Celebrated 14 years of marriage this year and together 20 years. She's just jealous

Not at all! Congratulations 🥳
Me and my husband were engaged after 18 months and now happily married for 5 years with two babies 😊💕

That's insane and 3 years is perfect.

I got engaged after 9 days and married a few months after! So I don't really take my time....!

It’s my sister and we’re very close. She’s honestly my best friend (aside from boyfriend) so her opinion means a lot to me.

Not sure about cptartapp but STBH and I had chosen April 10th as a wedding date before he proposed last weekend. Kinda in a hypothetical way of “if we were to marry, this is the date we’d like”. It wasn’t a surprise when he proposed as we had discussed marriage (though the where and when were a lovely surprise)

The date was a no brainer as it’s when we began dating, and happens to be a significant date in both our families (lots of anniversaries, birthdays of passed on people, etc)

Your sister seems to have far too much input on this and your relationship.

According to him he was sure after 3 months!! Though that definitely would have been too soon for us! 😂😂

@3YearsIn

Not sure about cptartapp but STBH and I had chosen April 10th as a wedding date before he proposed last weekend. Kinda in a hypothetical way of “if we were to marry, this is the date we’d like”. It wasn’t a surprise when he proposed as we had discussed marriage (though the where and when were a lovely surprise)

Ok, that makes sense.

I feel 100% sure! I think some people are under the assumption that what sister says goes. Her opinion of it being too soon doesn’t mean I’m rethinking saying yes. There’s no reason in the world I’d have said no.

but as she is my sister and we are very close, her opinion does matter. I wanted to see if her opinion was rational and shared by many, or if it really was her overprotective nature coming into play (which I suspected it was all along).

but yeah I’d marry him tomorrow in a chippy for all I care! 😂😂

I think that's more than enough especially as you live together. If you want children and waited 10 years you might never have them!

I did get engaged and pregnant after one year and he left me just before baby was born, turns out he couldn't handle the other person in the relationship being 'needy'

So best to weather a few storms together (I didn't, until pregnant!) to find out their true colours before committing

Congratulations, OP! 🎉

Your sister’s experience is totally different to yours as she met her DH young and they obviously felt that they needed to mature before marrying. You’re older and know who/what you want. Three years isn’t exactly impulsive!

I met my DH in my early 20’s and got married three years later at 25 and 27. We didn’t over-think it, tbh, we were in lurve. 😂

She wouldn’t be impressed with me then. I got engaged to my dh of 6 years after 3 months. 3 years is def not too long especially your age.