Dating Thread 242 - Mid-Summer daters

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The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Wow 😯

No number and the online contact just reiterated I’d breached their T&C’s, wouldn’t tell me which one and how I’ve breached and that decision is final.

Just seeing above post it’s not just me this has happened to.

This what happens when a website is run by BOTS rather than humans.

I had this problem.
I complained and got an automated response saying "tough"
So I replied to that email and got an actual human reply who said "I've looked and it's all working now"

It's worth going back to them again.

Not applicable in your case, but if you delete Tinder & then set up a new profile within 3months, they will ban you. Because they keep your details for 3mths so it recognises deleted accounts.
To stop people continuously setting up new accounts.

That's odd- I ummed and ahhed about rejoining tinder after my break up and set up and deleted multiple accounts without it blocking me from setting up a completely new one.

Ooh I was talking to a bloke on the older end of my age range (35). He seemed very nice, easy to talk to and ticked a few basic boxes so would have potentially met him. I went out for Sunday dinner for my sister's birthday- and lo and behold- he's sat a few tables away with his wife and kids 😬

You've never seen a man so panicked before in his life. Funnily enough he'd unmatched me from tinder and hopefully deleted his account by the time I got to check my phone. What a twat.

Omg that’s so bad!!

I did the same, have deleted and rejoined tinder many times. I also got banned once. No idea why. But I deleted the app, reinstalled and it was fine! Might be worth reinstalling it again

Tinder does have the biggest pool to choose from tbh, and most of the guys I met were from there. Some decent. Some not so much. Some vile, really vile.. but that was down to me not having enough boundaries in part.

Been chatting to a guy via an app, suggested a first date ….few drinks round his?!!

I mean come on it’s so annoying !

My sister saw my reaction to seeing him but we had to wait for a moment away from the kids and a grandparent for me to explain what exactly had gone on.

That would be a hard pass from me too. It's really frustrating!

I politely declined !

Shocking honestly what is wrong with these men. Poor wife.

Deleted and reinstalled Tinder and still banned so I’ve contacted them.

I’ll see what happens but I’m sure I only joined very briefly a couple years ago and definitely didn’t break any rules that I’m aware of.

I had a guy asked to come to mine for a cuppa as a first meet.
I declined and said I’d rather meet in a pub beer garden (this was last summer) and I’m sure he understood that’s it’s better to meet in a public place.

He said he was basically calling him a rapist and deleted me 🤷‍♀️

The swine…I wish these guys could be exposed so no one would fall for them

Chancer…delete

My friend went on a couple of dates with a guy she met online but it fizzled out.

A month or so later, we were at a music festival and she saw him with another woman. She pointed him out to us saying he’s with his latest victim and it turns out one of our friends knew her - it’s his wife of 20+ years!
We deliberately stood next to him at the bar and he was in an absolute panic

The friend who knows his wife saw him again a few weeks later and he tried to say our friend had pursued him and he knocked her back - twat

About Tinder, I’d never thought about making a profile there as I thought it was only for people in their 20s and more of a hook up ONS type of app. But is it ‘normal’, I’m in my 50s, would you recommend it?

@Itssnotunusual @SamW98 shocking stories, how do they get away with it? How do they have the emotional capacity for it?

I had one guy invite me to his house for a first meet. I don’t think he understood why I said no, he just thought I was turning him down. He has a daughter too, I’m sure he’ll see it differently when she gets to be the age when she’s dating.

The thing we have to give tinder is volume

and I don’t think men think as much in depth about the quality of the apps as we do 🙂

and it’s no more hook up than most apps if you filter right

What do you all prefer to do for a first meet? My go-to is a coffee shop in the daytime. Partly because I don’t drink alcohol, partly because it feels less effort than an evening thing, and you can gage fairly quickly whether you might want to see them again, or if it’s a definite no.

When I’m back on the apps I’ll give it a go.

I also did Bumble for a bit, and got two dates out of it.

Hinge resulted in nothing at all.

Plenty of Fish resulted in a few dates.

@GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife I have no idea. I don't have the emotional capacity to talk to more than one person at once on dating apps let alone see multiple people. Cheating on my partner though? Never. Not even when things were particularly shit.

You can add labels to your profile on tinder such as 'short term, open to long' 'long term, open to short'. It helps with the filtering out of those that are looking for something completely different e.g. hook-ups.

Mr Analogue's was just 'long term relationship' which was a big old green flag for me!

One of them is definitely grabbing my attention and funny that he was one that I thought about un matching.

The others are falling by the wayside one by one 🤣

That’s a wild story 😣 it’s so scary that you can end up meeting someone and even having a relationship with them only to find you’re the OW. I mean that’s always been the case but think dating apps have made this kind of deception a bit easier. Judging by the other posts there are a fair few married people in the dating pool 🤯 I bets there are married women having conversations about being so lucky they don’t have to use dating apps anymore after hearing their single friends tales of woe without knowing their own husbands are using them.