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Original poster

Made a mistake on the weekend and can't live with the guilt

76 replies

roldog · 10/07/2023 09:53

Please be gentle on me as I am already beside myself about this.

I was very drunk on Saturday night while out with my boyfriend and our friends. One of the boys who we are friends with ended up chatting to me for a good while, I see him as a good friend but obviously nothing more. It must have gotten quite flirty and he kissed me. Everyone was talking about it and I obviously told my boyfriend, but again I was very very drunk so don't remember the complete full story.

I am now feeling so so shit about myself. To the point I have decided to go sober and completely give up drinking. I love my boyfriend so much and losing him would be the worst thing ever. I just feel like the worst person in the world I hate myself right now.

I don't even know what im looking for with this post, but just wanted to vent to someone 😢

OP posts:
Bringonthesunforthewashing · 10/07/2023 09:57

What has your boyfriend said about it all?

Dont be so hard on yourself, we have all at some point got so pissed we do something we regret whatever that maybe.

Going over and over it in your mind is just going to make it worse for yourself. Give yourself a break and move on!

As long as your boyfriend has been understanding and forgiven you there is no issue

SleepingStandingUp · 10/07/2023 10:27

What did your bf say op?

Original poster
roldog · 10/07/2023 10:36

@Bringonthesunforthewashing thank you so much for your kind comment, it really does mean a lot to me.

He is a bit confused about it all, and annoyed. He has been ok towards me but I can tell it's playing on his mind

OP posts:
SoWhatEh · 10/07/2023 10:44

Please also take this as a big warning sign about your relationship with alcohol. Getting so drink that your boundaries dissolve could put you in a very dangerous situation. It's not a fair, respectful way to treat yourself.

Original poster
roldog · 10/07/2023 10:49

@SoWhatEh I completely agree. I am giving up alcohol from here on. Sober me would never ever do anything to jeopardise my relationship but then drunk me is just an idiot who doesn't think about anything, it's like 2 different people and now I am feeling so depressed and low about it.

OP posts:
JamSandle · 10/07/2023 10:55

Please don't feel guilty. It's done, you were drunk, you confessed, you're taking learnings from it.

It's okay to let it go now.

baconcrisp · 10/07/2023 11:07

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

Original poster
roldog · 10/07/2023 11:13

Thank you all. I'm just worrying that things won't be the same now and that he won't be able to move on from this. I can't believe I have been so stupid

OP posts:
ABugWife · 10/07/2023 13:17

Sorry I am not sure if I have missed something but did the friend kiss you and you push him away, or did you both indulge in a bit of snogging?

Original poster
roldog · 10/07/2023 13:20

@ABugWife no definitely no snogging. He kissed me and I was so drunk that I didn't even realise what was happening, but pushed him away when I realised

OP posts:
Prelapsarianhag · 10/07/2023 13:22

Stop with the guilt, it is really bad for you and you will be setting up a dynamic with your bf where he can make you out to be the flaky one. Some bloke kissed you and you pushed him away - its no big deal.

Motnight · 10/07/2023 13:24

roldog · 10/07/2023 13:20

@ABugWife no definitely no snogging. He kissed me and I was so drunk that I didn't even realise what was happening, but pushed him away when I realised

Not sure what you have to feel guilty about them, Op?

ABugWife · 10/07/2023 15:33

Sounds like you didn't do anything wrong, you pushed him away.

How long was he kissing you? It seems a lot of guilt over nothing (on your side).

Thearseyone · 10/07/2023 15:38

roldog · 10/07/2023 13:20

@ABugWife no definitely no snogging. He kissed me and I was so drunk that I didn't even realise what was happening, but pushed him away when I realised

What are we missing then, what do you feel guilty about, you didn’t kiss him back and rejected him, so what do you feel guilty about?

Original poster
roldog · 11/07/2023 07:33

He was probably kissing me for a few seconds when I realised what the hell is happening! Like I say I was so drunk that I didn't realise what was going on, no excuse but still feel awful about it. It's actually eating me up inside Sad

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 11/07/2023 07:37

I think you are kicking yourself unfarely op.

You were drunk. Someone kissed you. As soon as you realised what was happening you pushed him away. You told your bf straight away.

I understand your bf feeling odd about it - his 'friend' kissed his gf. Other people witnessed it. He must be feeling a bit hurt with his friend's actions, and perhaps uncertain how much you partook in it. But if you've told him what you told us, and if he's reasonable, I think he'll get past this.

I agree with stopping drinking though. You've said it changes who you are. It isn't worth getting in to a similar situation. And it will show your bf that you treat it seriously and don't intend it to happen again.

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 07:38

Stop beating yourself up, OP.

Review your relationship with alcohol.

Move on.

Sorted 🙂

Original poster
roldog · 11/07/2023 07:50

@perfectcolourfound @Oldnamechangeyetagain

Thank you both for your kind comments, I am honestly feeling so low about this while things so people being kind really does mean a lot to me.

I know your right, and the boy in question has admitted that it was all his doing and apologised but I'm just so worried about it all. A few people saw as well so in their eyes they just saw me kissing someone else without actually seeing the whole thing which has made my anxiety about it 100 times worse. I'm a very loyal person so things like this are massive to me I just feel awful.

But yea, definitely no drinking from here on. It definitely is not worth it, and sometimes I get in to states where I don't even know what's happening around me!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 11/07/2023 07:56

If you pushed him away when you realised then you’ve not done anything wrong. But it seems like maybe you do need to address your relationship with alcohol and maybe knock it on the head for a while

Original poster
roldog · 11/07/2023 08:05

@Zanatdy yes your right. I'm just worried what others are going to say and if people are going to make out it was more, that's my anxiety about it all kicking in. Although I know exactly what happened so I suppose it shouldn't really matter what others have to say

OP posts:
RubyMurry22 · 11/07/2023 08:11

Alcohol causes anxiety so you will be doing your self a massive favour to give it up. I’m 6 months AF and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

ahunf · 11/07/2023 08:13

If you didn't do anything why are you giving up drink?

"Sober me would never ever do anything to jeopardise my relationship but then drunk me is just an idiot who doesn't think about anything"

But drunk you would?

1983Louise · 11/07/2023 08:25

We've all been young, drunk and done something daft, if you're 50 tho, it's time to sort your life out 🙈

Original poster
roldog · 11/07/2023 08:31

@RubyMurry22 aww congrats on 6 months! I've been thinking about it for a while because I'm sick of feeling like shit and wasting my weekends, I bet you feel so much better

OP posts:
Original poster
roldog · 11/07/2023 08:31

@ahunf yes, because if I was sober I wouldn't have even been in this situation. I wouldn't have let someone that close to me

OP posts: