Am about to set myself quite a challenge and wonder if anyone would care to join me?

[Janni]

For one week precisely, I will avoid saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH. I'm always pointing out things he hasn't done and I fail to notice his many excellent qualities. For example, this afternoon he took our three DC out, plus two of their friends, on his own for a good few hours, including lunch in a cafe, which I thought was pretty good going.

Yet I'm always making little comments about trivial stuff he neglects to do.

If I manage this week's challenge, I will then start trying to say something nice each day to him. I can't do it ALL at once or he won't know what's hit him

Hmm - interesting one. I'm the same, I have to say. How will you deal with it if you have to ask him to do something, or if you ask and he then doesn't get round to it?

Good luck, will be watching this one - i think it will get easier as the week goes by and i bet you will feel better by the end of it.

I tried this for lent.

I kept it up for a few days....

In my defence, I've been unwell, and that's made me even more ratty than usual.

i try to be balanced

i have has the most super weekend and i have told him that he was made me happy this weekend

I could join you, but DH might think I had been abducted by aliens and panic!! I could give up critical, but sarcasm is my best mate!! Good luck!

Ok Janni, I'm in!

I was going to join in, but then DH started eating a biscuit really really noisily next to me, and I thought I might throttle him. But, with support, I'll give it a go.

When do we start? Tonight, or tomorrow morning?

I've started tonight - you can all pick your own moment. JackieNo - in the situation you describe I will TRY to just ask again without sarcasm...It's gonna be hard though. I've read that if men feel appreciated they act better, so that's what I'm hoping

I'm really glad there's some interest in this idea: I thought I might be stuck out there on some Stepford-like planet of my own

Best of luck then - let us know how you get on. I may try, but I'm not sure enough that I'll be able to do it to commit myself.

I am currently suffering (or rather DH is suffering from my) Menopausal mood swings....so some support in trying not to bite his head off will be great!

Hey, I can do this! (DH is going away on a charity trek for three weeks and will be incommunicado )

I really need to join this challenge

Queenofthedumbquestion - that sounds JUST like something I would do. I told my DH off earlier tonight because his ice-cubes were clinking too loudly

I'm up for being nice. DP will think I've had a lobotomy...

OK - so let's keep each other posted and encouraged. Portandlemon - you can practice in your head for his return !!

count me in, I can be toxic.

christ, good luck girls - i'll be with you in spirit but methinks putting this into practice in our house would be a tall order (.....i'm such a bitch.....)

Do i need to buy a lead and treats, to reward the good. Or shall I just pat his head. Oh, should I say 'Thank you' if he moves?

So far so good, despite me being at tether's end this morning as the younger two DC were arguing over everything. I didn't take it out on DH and, funnily enough, he got them to get on with each other. Probably told them mum would end up mad as a box of frogs if they didn't behave

I'm in on this one. I keep phoning DH at work and moaning about stuff, which he cant deal with, as he's in an open plan office. Will be nice to him on phone, and will try no carping at home.

I really need to do this. I spend all my time saying good positive things to DS's to boost their self-esteem, but the way I carry on with DH, he'll soon be a broken man.

And he is lovely and he does try......but he doesn't do it my way Yes, as of now, no critism. I'll see how it goes this week and maybe try positive next week.

Hey! We might put Relate out of business at this rate

Why not try and follow a rule of 5 positive things to 1 negative. That way you can say still say hings that are negative but they have to be balance by 5 positive things.

A bit like a healthy diet, if you have 85% good stuff the other 15% can be crap and that is usually OK

Now I must go off and practise this myself both in my diet and my relationships

Good advice, LC - that'll be the 'maintenance plan'. This week is the 'fast'