Am about to set myself quite a challenge and wonder if anyone would care to join me?

[Janni]

For one week precisely, I will avoid saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH. I'm always pointing out things he hasn't done and I fail to notice his many excellent qualities. For example, this afternoon he took our three DC out, plus two of their friends, on his own for a good few hours, including lunch in a cafe, which I thought was pretty good going.

Yet I'm always making little comments about trivial stuff he neglects to do.

If I manage this week's challenge, I will then start trying to say something nice each day to him. I can't do it ALL at once or he won't know what's hit him

I also offered to sort out Mother's Day Flowers for HIS mother because he's snowed under at work...He sounded really shocked!

i bought mothers day cards for his mum and birthday cards as his mums b day is mon and bought stamps he only had to write them and i posted them

and i'm off out tonight well at 4 for whole evening with friends and he is still calling me from work to let me know how things are going and his just being so nice

i'm glad we can admit we can be wrong too sometimes and we do actually have fantastic men who provide for there families

thing is its so easy to let yourselves get dragged away by the every day silly things when life doesnt need to be so stressful

Only one more day to go for me till I can say I've done the week's challenge I'm getting into the swing of it now. Had a really tough day earlier because of kids waking far too early, the flat being a real mess and me being totally disorganised and losing everything...BUT I didn't once snap at DH. I've had a nice afternoon chatting to friends and feeling like an adult, so am now in the right frame of mind to sort out our home while DH is putting the little one to bed.

Well done Bubbla!

Thankyou for this thread Janni - its been very helpful! And Well Done!

What do people think of the idea of starting a new thread on Monday, to carry on with this idea of improving our relationships? I'd like to start one with a new, more general title, rather than it being about MY personal challenge. Then we could swap tips and stories
and even have a moan on here about partners, rather than moaning at them My intention would be that the thread would be for people who know that they've got a basically sound, decent partner but who would like to improve their relationship. I've been struck by how many people have said this thread has been helpful and I know it has helped ME enourmously. I'd like to build on what I've learned this week. Feedback please!

great idea Janni, I wish I'd seen this a week ago, I am vile to DH at times and he is really quite lovely so I'll try to join in with next week's efforts

Yes please - I won't be able to join in next week, as DH is away, but would like to keep on trying from when he gets back.

I'm going to the hairdresser's this morning so thought it fair that I get up with the little one at 7. DH told me to 'stop being such a martyr - it's Mother's Day'. I really WASN'T being a martyr - he did a lot with the kids yesterday, he did all the washing up before bedtime, he's going to have the kids this morning, he wants us to go out for lunch....but it struck me that that's how I have been so often in the past - doing too much and making him pay by being grumpy and snappy later!!

Today I'm also going to start being more affectionate to DH. I'm very cuddly with the kids and hardly at all with him.

my dp away next week also but will send him loving texts telling him how much i appreciate him and i wont make him feel bad for being away

as i get lonely and sometimes can be bit off with him

but i wont

I am SO touched. Came back from the hairdressers. DH has gone grocery shopping with the kids, they've hung the wet laundry and they've left three little home-made cards for Mother's Day. I LOVE homemade cards!

Aah - that's lovely. I had homemade(-ish)(ie, with help) cards this morning too - fab .

Hi, I've missed last weeks 'challenge' but would love the chance to be more aware of how I'm being to DP who is another good guy.

He works hard to take care of us and although he can be un-thoughtful, moody, annoying and very flirty with other women I know he loves us.

I know he would really appreciate me being less naggy and negative and be more grateful for the nice things he does.

Think a new thread on this topic would be very useful, and help me be more aware.

P.s Happy Mothers day all.

well tomorrow is the start of new week maybe we ought to get them onto this to treat us good lol so they can be more aware

my dp is a different man at the moment but would hate to think i'm the cause of all problems lol

i'm just glad that he muct also be maiking the effort because his not without his faults

well done to all that are joining and have already done so well

Well, it's working pretty well. (Although I did go away for part of the weekend so that probably helped!)

Have also noticed I feel less inclined to go straight to sleep when we go to bed

DP is confused, but clearly doesn't want to jinx it by asking!! I had lovely home made card and buns brought to me in bed this morning, with coffee in a new 'i love my mummy' mug, and eggs on toast. Thinking DP's mum may have had a hand in some of it, but instead of belittling the effort he had gone to I was effusive and grateful!

Wow, I might even become a 'nice person' one of these days

definitely up for a continuing thread...thanks for starting this one Janni!

Yeah!
I have OFFICIALLY completed one week without a critical or sarcastic comment to DH.

I'll join a new thread on Monday if you one Janni. This one has been v. helpful in making me more mindful of my reactions to DH

Well done Janni - and well done for changing the world too! Am ready and waiting to sign up for the new post. Had a fab mother's day, treated like a queen and I'm sure it's because I've been nicer.

Scattercushion, that's brilliant news. I'm really happy for you. I've just started the new thread so please can everyone move over there now.

This weekend I have to admit that I excelled myself! I did 3 loads of washing (and actually got round to hanging it up afterwards, I rarely get that far!!), cleaned the house without being prompted and did loads of other things including making numerous cups of tea (I don't drink hot drinks), to the point where my partner asked what I'd done/lost/broken! I asked him last night whether he had enjoyed me being more helpful and nice and he gave me an 8.5 out of 10, not bad I didn't think!

I'm definitely up for being in the new thread J.

Well don Lollipop . I've started the new thread in Relationships, so come and join it!

In case anyone's missed it, here's the new thread.