Am about to set myself quite a challenge and wonder if anyone would care to join me?

[Janni]

For one week precisely, I will avoid saying anything sarcastic or critical to DH. I'm always pointing out things he hasn't done and I fail to notice his many excellent qualities. For example, this afternoon he took our three DC out, plus two of their friends, on his own for a good few hours, including lunch in a cafe, which I thought was pretty good going.

Yet I'm always making little comments about trivial stuff he neglects to do.

If I manage this week's challenge, I will then start trying to say something nice each day to him. I can't do it ALL at once or he won't know what's hit him

I'm a bit worried about the others who said they'd do the challenge and who haven't reappeared.

I hope they haven't imploded through not being able to let off the usual amount of steam

Haha Janni, I think they've just failed but don't want to admit it! >

I'm very impressed with your efforts Janni, especially seeing as you felt you were bad enough that you had to start this challenge in the first place.

Yesterday I did ok, I was supposed to cook the dinner but ended up having a vile bout of MS so by the time I got back downstairs DP had put the dinner on. He was about to start ironing his shirt and trousers when I decided that I should do it so I did (I hate ironing, he knows he has to do his own ironing because i'm not a ruddy maid!!). Anyway, I actually wanted to do it rather than just doing it for the sake of it. Scary!!

Hi Lollipop! I was feeling quite lonely there and well done for sticking with it.

I have to say this challenge is really good for me because I'm ACTUALLY just asking for things in a straightforward way rather than being a martyr then snapping out of frustration.

DH got up with the kids and let me have a lie-in, simply because I asked. I've really been my own worst enemy for a long time.

lol at 'JackieYes'.

I was a bit tetchy late last night - got back from book group and when I walked into the bathroom the loft hatch wasn't closed properly. DH is off for a week tomorrow, so he'd been going to get the suitcase out of the loft. I asked him whether it would be possible for him to sort the loft hatch (fears of mice, spiders coming down, not to mention all the heating going up), which he started to come and do, but it then emerged that he hadn't got the suitcase down, and was proposing to use DS's robot hand to grab it, as it was just out of reach, so that he could bring it down then. I got a bit querulous about this, as it was 11.45pm, and I was worried he'd wake the DCs, but managed to keep it to a statement of how I felt that it was going to be too loud. I think if we had points for this, I'd need to be docked a couple, but in my defence, it was late...

You're right, Janni - simply asking, with no sniping, works surprisingly well.

Bugger, I missed the start of this.. it's really interesting to read though, I'm a lot like this. Maybe I'll have a go too, see how I go.

Ladies your self control is admirable!

Mymeems you should definitely have a go, i've found that i'm learning about myself and my moods, and one day I hope to be one of those eternal optimists you meet every now and again and want to clobber!

ROFL @ "Be nice to your partnew support thread"

PARTNER!!!!

It works if everytime you get narky and want to snap, instantly think of something positive to say. Generally there are a few.

Okay...I'm going to attempt to be nice

I'm not a complete harridan, you understand, just a bit sharp tongued sometimes!

Poor DP will be utterly confused

Mine is putting everything down to 'hormones' at the moment, if I'm bad it's hormones, if i'm good it's hormones, built in excuse this being pregnant lark!

Welcome 'Mymeens'. I'm thinking that when my week is up I might start a more general relationship thread to help us support each other...
Jackie - you sound like you were very restrained. Love the idea of using the kids' robotic hand

I thought the robotic hand was a bloody good idea it must be said!

Hi - I have been doing this for 3 days now and so far so good, the first day I complimented husband on how good looking he was and told him that I loved him very much. This was 3 days ago and I still keep catching him checking my car for dents or stuff I have broken in the house. After yet another compliment yesterday, he finally gave in and asked me how much money I wanted!!!!! I clearly don't do the whole praise thing very often. I was also very patient the other night when I was so tired (32 weeks with a very active 4 year old boy) and was trying to get to sleep when he felt it necessary to give me a running commentary on how his teeth flossing went, in normal circumstances I would have bloody throttled him, I just breathed deeply and remembered the challenge!!!!! Can't wait until the week is up though so I can start telling him off about scraping his teeth on his fork!!!!!!!

i do this with my dp as found even when his been really busy at work he comes home in lovely mood

and oops out pops and nag a moan and good mood turns sour

so i made a concious effort to be more pleasant and has worked a treat

just had to write on here as spotted i'm not only one who has felt the need to do this

Just seen this thread, and really need to join in. DH is home soon, so we'll see how is goes!

Hi - great that more people are joining and well done to Hannah and Bubbla!

I'm still here - not doing too badly sit DH and DS... it's much easier to manage DS if I don't snap at him...
However I got very cross with my year 8s this afternoon - they would not shut up and let me teach until I threatened to keep them back at the end of the day (it was last lesson) for the same length of time they kept me waiting.

ooops! with, not sit - my brain has gone to bed without the rest of me!

Well done Donk - shout away at your Year 8s and be nice to your DH !!

I'm back and still going strong, or should that be softly? Had to hugely bite lip yesterday when I had the weekly coffee morning thingy round here yesterday and he was working from home and didn't come out to say hello but just hid. I resisted saying 'how unfriendly are you?' afterwards but it was hard hard hard. I still want to say it!!!

Slipped up a bit again this morning. DH left to go away for the week, and moments after he left, I discovered his ADs on the kitchen worktop. Rang him, he turned round and came back for them, in danger of missing his train to the airport. I definitely said something a bit sarky to him as I handed them over, but I can't remember what , as it was 6am, and I was only half awake, and standing outside in the freezing cold in my dressing gown.

But he's now away, so I should breeze through the rest of the week.

Thank you for this thread Janni - it's really good, and interesting. I'll definitely be trying to carry on as much as possible when he comes back. That's often a difficult time, I find, because when he's away, things are quieter, the house stays tidier, and then he comes home and creates (relative) chaos again, and I've got to get used to having him to take into account and not just me, iyswim.

i'm still doing well and his making so much effort with me its really nice

for example he wopuldnt normally phone when at work id normally moan about something today phone goes

its him im was just having ciggie and thought id give you a call sexy

hooray

we were having a laugh and have been for a week now talking more cuddling more i'm loving the rewards i'm getting

he desrves it really i need to make sure i pick my fights stop rowing over mundane stuff

i would be lost without him if anything was to happen i would hate to be rowing over silly things being last thing i would rather know were treating each other with the respect we deserve

i think were falling in love all over again [trying not to make others sick] but i'm so happy he he

Oh I'm really proud of you girls!
Scattercushion - How about - 'Darling, the girls SO missed seeing you!', accompanied by a big kiss . You did great to bite your tongue. I once had a HUGE rant at DH because he didn't come outside to say bye to my parents
Jackie - we won't dock you any points, it WAS 6 a.m. after all.
Bubbla - that is SO nice to hear! Well done!

I still haven't broken my resolution, despite having a very challenging week in many ways.

janni a big well done to you too!!!!

its so nice how they respond when everything isnt so petty

dont get me wrong he still annoys me and still does certain things i dislike but at the moment his being so loving and obviously is liking the new me it doesnt worry me now