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Original poster

Got ghosted.. then he came back to dramatically flounce. Hilarious

82 replies

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:18

Ok, so got ghosted by long term friend but brief fling.

Fine.

Obviously he's a dick, but wait until you hear this.

He left me unread last week, so I quietly went about my life. Didn't text, kept the dignity intact.

I unfriended him on FB. I didn't block him, just removed him as a friend.

Today I got a message asking if I was ok, quickly followed by a rant about how I deleted him and then he flounced and blocked me.

Dear God. This one is nearly 40.

At least I'm finding it funny. I've been friends with this man for decades. How did I not see the beacons and red flags?

OP posts:
Sunflowersinthewind · 01/07/2023 21:19

How did he ghost you?

Yellowflowerr · 01/07/2023 21:22

Are you saying he ghosted you because he left you on unread for a week? Not sure that’s long enough to count as ghosting, unless there’s something else to the story?

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:23

We saw each other 2/3 times a week for a month or two, daily communication in between.

We arranged plans. I messaged him as normal.. left me unread for days, he didn't turn up for the plans or engage with me in any way, shape or form. He didn't open the last message I sent him, until he decided to get in touch today.

He's no loss. I just can't believe how indignant he was, and how he blocked me. I wasn't contacting you buddy.. there was no need to block me. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:25

I think just disappearing on someone you'd spoken to daily/had arranged plans with is ghosting? Maybe I'm wrong?

OP posts:
supercali77 · 01/07/2023 21:25

Amazing 😂😂😂 'I'm the one who does the ignoring and the distancing. Not YOU!'

supercali77 · 01/07/2023 21:26

Nah you aren't wrong. Most non living together couples speak every day. If one disspapears for a week, doesn't reply, doesn't turn up on date nights...id take that as extremely off/ghosting.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 01/07/2023 21:28

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:25

I think just disappearing on someone you'd spoken to daily/had arranged plans with is ghosting? Maybe I'm wrong?

Well you'd only been meeting a few times a week for a month or two. He left you on unread, did it not occur to you that maybe there was a reason for this? Anything from his mental health to ill family member to busy at work. The list goes on. I think you could have simply checked in if you were concerned you were being ghosted, as opposed to flouncing off and unfriending him. Better still is that you're laughing about him flouncing off to block you when he realised this as if its pathetic as he is nearly 40... you did almost the same thing. Only you sound about 18.

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:29

It's so funny.

I am man. I must control a situation that I don't even want to be a part of.

Fuck off buddy.

OP posts:
Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:32

@ThickSkinnedSoWhat I've been friends with him for 2 decades

The last message I had sent him was nice and lighthearted

He was on WhatsApp repeatedly and he made a choice to ignore me and be rude

My brother also trained at football with him midweek

Trust me, he was being a knob

OP posts:
Yupiknowhowthatfeels · 01/07/2023 21:33

Good for you. Played him.

Theloosegoose · 01/07/2023 21:35

Oo I don't know. I do that when I'm busy/ sorting head out. Maybe he deserved the benefit of the doubt before unfriending him.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 01/07/2023 21:35

Why do some people have to be so ridiculous?

What can realistically have happened to prevent someone (a long time friend, recently more) from reading or replying to a message? Really?

And if they didn't get said message, send one of their own to see how friend/ partner is.

Comes on here to vent and told they are unreasonable to expect more.

Well don't gor not having such a low bar op. And retaining dignity as you say.

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:37

Please trust me on this, I would have been more kind and sympathetic if he wasn't so rude.

He made a choice. So did I.

You don't ghost me and then get access to my life when it suits you.

I just thought the flouncing was hilarious. I was baffled by it, now I'm just like wtf.

OP posts:
St0nehenge · 01/07/2023 21:41

supercali77 · 01/07/2023 21:25

Amazing 😂😂😂 'I'm the one who does the ignoring and the distancing. Not YOU!'

Yeh, good for you.
Surprised some are defending him. A decent guy knows that if he sleeps with a friend there will be feelings, but instead of 1) not sleeping with his friend or 2) communicating what he felt, he left your messages unread for a week.
What an emotional fuckwit.

yipeeyiyay · 01/07/2023 22:03

@ThickSkinnedSoWhat Well you'd only been meeting a few times a week for a month or two. He left you on unread, did it not occur to you that maybe there was a reason for this? Anything from his mental health to ill family member to busy at work. The list goes on. I think you could have simply checked in if you were concerned you were being ghosted, as opposed to flouncing off and unfriending him. Better still is that you're laughing about him flouncing off to block you when he realised this as if its pathetic as he is nearly 40... you did almost the same thing. Only you sound about 18.
You seem to have missed the bit where the OP said the dick didn't turn up to the arranged date and their communication had been daily. Defriending is not flouncing. It's simply setting a boundary. If you are a dick to me, I'm not sharing my world with you. It's not difficult to message someone you have been talking to daily and whom you stood up in a date. Ffs, raise your bar.

LarryandLeon · 01/07/2023 22:10

He sound like a grade A twat. I had a similar thing on online dating where I played this really flaky guy at his own game. He also threw a massive paddy- embarrassing. These men 🙄.

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 22:10

Thank you to those who have noted how unreasonable he was being.

I'm a bit sad that he treated me poorly.

But majorly thrilled that he did so quickly. My goodness, imagine investing in someone capable of that?

👋🏼

OP posts:
billy1966 · 01/07/2023 23:23

Thank goodness he didn't waste too much of your time.

Twat.

He will likely be back.

guineacup · 01/07/2023 23:25

Theloosegoose · 01/07/2023 21:35

Oo I don't know. I do that when I'm busy/ sorting head out. Maybe he deserved the benefit of the doubt before unfriending him.

Being busy or sorting your head out isn't a reason for not reading a message for a week from someone you're seeing regularly!

Bholli · 01/07/2023 23:26

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:25

I think just disappearing on someone you'd spoken to daily/had arranged plans with is ghosting? Maybe I'm wrong?

You’re not wrong.

JenniferBooth · 02/07/2023 00:02

Jesus the excuses people make these days for those who have no manners and no courtesy

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 00:04

I could understand him blocking me if I was tormenting him but I didn't send him one message after the unread

Just checked to see if he'd read it occasionally, which was actually very useful for my soul - I wasn't massively invested anyway, just a bit Hmm given the existing friendship

Bloody ghosting, I'm in my 30s I thought this shit was teenage

He might be back. I hear this is what some men do. I hope not though, I am tired

OP posts:
Anotherparkingthread · 02/07/2023 00:04

I once had something similar happen to me, I dated a guy and very early on after only 3 bsplutely wonderful, funny, dates where he seemed so kind and respectful snd we clicked, we decided to be exclusive and see how things went. It was a busy time for him at work so I knew he wouldn't be free for around a week and a half, that's fine we stayed in touch via text.

Then suddenly he ghosted me, no reason just disappeared. It wad so early on I wasn't upset just confused, I messaged him he hadn't blocked me... so I just moved on and out my dating profile back up and brushed it off.

3 weeks later! He messaged me telling me. I couldn't behave how I did and that he was punishing me. It turns out I'd asked my neighbour if he wanted a beer at mine (neighbour is army man and often away from home, he lives alone and a very good friend of mine) and had told him about it as you do, he'd gone off on one.

He then expected me to have sat around waiting for him for the last 3 weeks. I told him I considered myself single from day 3 of being ignored and was back on online dating. He was most unhappy that his plan had back fired snd I was relieved to have dodged such a bullet. He seemed so nice!

supercali77 · 02/07/2023 00:49

@Anotherparkingthread Pure gold, he actually expected you to spend 3 weeks pining and asking why.

coronation2023 · 02/07/2023 06:05

@ThickSkinnedSoWhat

Nah you chatting shit

This man was incredibly rude. As were you.