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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Got ghosted.. then he came back to dramatically flounce. Hilarious

82 replies

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:18

Ok, so got ghosted by long term friend but brief fling.

Fine.

Obviously he's a dick, but wait until you hear this.

He left me unread last week, so I quietly went about my life. Didn't text, kept the dignity intact.

I unfriended him on FB. I didn't block him, just removed him as a friend.

Today I got a message asking if I was ok, quickly followed by a rant about how I deleted him and then he flounced and blocked me.

Dear God. This one is nearly 40.

At least I'm finding it funny. I've been friends with this man for decades. How did I not see the beacons and red flags?

OP posts:
Newnamehiwhodis · 02/07/2023 06:14

He sounds like a toddler. And people making excuses for the poor wee mannie man are ridiculous

for fucks sake- a grown man knows how to type a few sentences if he’s busy or he’s had an emergency of some kind. Why do we baby men so?!

well done, OP

MayThe4th · 02/07/2023 06:15

You both sound about twelve. Unfriending a friend of 20 years because he didn’t message you for a week is petty and childish. As is him blocking you because you unfriended him.

clearly not an important friendship if it’s that disposable.

you both need to grow up.

Twiglets1 · 02/07/2023 06:28

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 01/07/2023 21:28

Well you'd only been meeting a few times a week for a month or two. He left you on unread, did it not occur to you that maybe there was a reason for this? Anything from his mental health to ill family member to busy at work. The list goes on. I think you could have simply checked in if you were concerned you were being ghosted, as opposed to flouncing off and unfriending him. Better still is that you're laughing about him flouncing off to block you when he realised this as if its pathetic as he is nearly 40... you did almost the same thing. Only you sound about 18.

Get real. There’s no reason to not contact the person you’re sleeping with for a week.
I think anyone making excuses for the guy is probably rude in their own interactions with people & don’t have a clue how others feel about being ignored when it suits them.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 02/07/2023 06:33

I totally agree with MayThe4th, I’d add that I am not sure your dignity is still intact.

MissChanandlerB0NG · 02/07/2023 06:43

Good for you. No doubt he'll be confused about what happened for a little while 🤣

RachelNoire · 02/07/2023 06:55

MayThe4th · 02/07/2023 06:15

You both sound about twelve. Unfriending a friend of 20 years because he didn’t message you for a week is petty and childish. As is him blocking you because you unfriended him.

clearly not an important friendship if it’s that disposable.

you both need to grow up.

Did you even bother to read the OPs messages?

well done OP, he treated you poorly, good to know sooner rather than later!

BackAgainstWall · 02/07/2023 07:12

YANBU
What a knob.

Well done.

Good to hear that there are people (you) on here with some dignity and self-respect.

JeminaSunshine · 02/07/2023 07:34

The replies you've had show that some people on here could start a row in an empty room.

He will be back and will be furious to be ignored.

DatingDinosaur · 02/07/2023 08:09

If you’ve been friends for decades, why didn’t you try to contact him another way before unfriending him if he didn’t respond to your message?

Technology fails sometimes.

MrsSquirrel · 02/07/2023 08:22

Technology fails sometimes, but phones work both ways. He could have contacted her, whether or not received the unread message. If he wasn't able to make their planned date, he should have let her know.

Weekenders · 02/07/2023 08:33

Neither of you come across great here, but sounds like there was no future in it anyway.

Ofcourseshecan · 02/07/2023 08:37

Well done, OP. You don’t need his stupid game-playing in your life.

WilkinsonM · 02/07/2023 08:43

Yellowflowerr · 01/07/2023 21:22

Are you saying he ghosted you because he left you on unread for a week? Not sure that’s long enough to count as ghosting, unless there’s something else to the story?

Being left on unread for a WEEK by someone you're dating is absolutely being ghosted. Would you think this was normal?!

Yellowflowerr · 02/07/2023 08:48

WilkinsonM · 02/07/2023 08:43

Being left on unread for a WEEK by someone you're dating is absolutely being ghosted. Would you think this was normal?!

I’m not quite sure why you’re quoting me? The original op had very little info in terms of if they had arranged a date etc (follow up posts go into more detail) I was just trying to establish more info - the follow up posts from OP establish that the guy was clearly being rude if they had arranged to meet and chatted every day - but the original post didn’t say that (hence my q). Anyway all blocked and I’m sure the OP is pleased not to be wasting anymore time with them :)

TheoTheopolis23 · 02/07/2023 08:52

The replies you've had show that some people on here could start a row in an empty room.

MN is chick full of these types.

Every single thread; contrary responses criticising and undermining the op.

You wonder do they just live to be contrary.

TheoTheopolis23 · 02/07/2023 08:52

*chock

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 02/07/2023 08:57

Jesus , some women's standards are so low they're at the bottom of the Marianna Trench.

St0nehenge · 02/07/2023 08:59

He did it because he couldn't find the words to say " um, This is not Thing, This is not a friendship that turned in to a relationship". So, he decided to communicate that through the medium of disrespect, silence and forced distancing (blocking).

I think he'll ba back too. He tried to relegate you but you took yourself out of the game and he was upset with you!!!

Some people reading this thread seem to have a mystifyingly low bar.

YouJustDoYou · 02/07/2023 09:02

Urgh, red flag immature twat. Who acts like that at his age, for god's sake? Dodged a bullet there op, sounds like he was playing the "make her chase me" game. Pathetic.

QueefQueen80s · 02/07/2023 09:08

You've had a couple of weird replies but thankfully common sense has reigned. He absolutely ghosted you and is now playing games.
Probably lost interest, had his eye on someone else and now that hasn't worked out.
If it was stress or family thing all he needed to do was send a quick text to say he'll be awol for a bit.
Thankyou OP for having standards, it makes me laugh that he was so surprised at your reaction. He expects to just do as he pleases, bullet dodged!

St0nehenge · 02/07/2023 09:17

Yeh, I've been in this situation, a man fully expects that he'll pick you up and drop you down as and when, and you will have no visible reaction to that.
I cut off a man that did that too. It was similar text book behaviour, he was shocked at first, played the victim of me and how harsh I was, then tried to gaslight me that I was needy rather than that he resorted to communicating to me through silence that we weren't a thing. He just fully expected to be able the breadcrumb and gaslight me.

I said we are walking on different pages. Communication is easy for me, character is important to me, good luck.

Years of being messed around under my belt though so perhaps he detected previous low bar from me? Eau de l"eau bar 😅

ButImNotOldEnough · 02/07/2023 09:49

He sounds completely pathetic OP, nothing more unattractive than a cry baby man that has to have the last word. There’s much better fish out there Wink

supercali77 · 02/07/2023 09:55

I often wonder whether the folk that come on threads like this saying 'it's only been a week' are in ltr or marriages and only remeber the days before being constantly online and multiple social media messaging options? It's simply not like that now. Anyone dating knows that with dating apps and the prevalence of multi dating that if you leave someone on read for a week they could easily be replying to someone else's interest. So interested people tend to be in touch regularly.

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 10:08

He was clearly able to get himself to football training and was on WhatsApp

= he was clearly ignoring me

This is a guy I would have heard from regularly anyway - because of our existing friendship which clearly wasn't much of a friendship in the first place

My point was just at how indignant he was at being removed as a friend. He was so outraged, and couldn't acknowledge his poor behaviour. That's all.

I wasn't dead into him, terribly good looking man but clearly not the one. It's cool. His loss and all that. If he wanted me to chase, well no - I don't have time for that

OP posts:
SquirrelSoShiny · 02/07/2023 10:29

St0nehenge · 02/07/2023 09:17

Yeh, I've been in this situation, a man fully expects that he'll pick you up and drop you down as and when, and you will have no visible reaction to that.
I cut off a man that did that too. It was similar text book behaviour, he was shocked at first, played the victim of me and how harsh I was, then tried to gaslight me that I was needy rather than that he resorted to communicating to me through silence that we weren't a thing. He just fully expected to be able the breadcrumb and gaslight me.

I said we are walking on different pages. Communication is easy for me, character is important to me, good luck.

Years of being messed around under my belt though so perhaps he detected previous low bar from me? Eau de l"eau bar 😅

I like your vibe 😎