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Original poster

Got ghosted.. then he came back to dramatically flounce. Hilarious

82 replies

brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 01/07/2023 21:18

Ok, so got ghosted by long term friend but brief fling.

Fine.

Obviously he's a dick, but wait until you hear this.

He left me unread last week, so I quietly went about my life. Didn't text, kept the dignity intact.

I unfriended him on FB. I didn't block him, just removed him as a friend.

Today I got a message asking if I was ok, quickly followed by a rant about how I deleted him and then he flounced and blocked me.

Dear God. This one is nearly 40.

At least I'm finding it funny. I've been friends with this man for decades. How did I not see the beacons and red flags?

OP posts:
SecondRow · 02/07/2023 10:48

Well, how indignant was he? What did he say in his flounce-rant?

DixonD · 02/07/2023 10:58

Just for future info; it is perfectly possible to block someone on Facebook who has already blocked you.

supercali77 · 02/07/2023 11:04

@DixonD Is it? How?

escript · 02/07/2023 11:06

Today I got a message asking if I was ok, quickly followed by a rant about how I deleted him and then he flounced and blocked me.

He didn't wait for you to reply after asking if you were ok? No explanation for the silence? It's a shame as you've been friends for so long, but I'd have done similar to you.

Will you still see him around at all, socially? Thinking mutual friends.

philautia · 02/07/2023 11:07

MayThe4th · 02/07/2023 06:15

You both sound about twelve. Unfriending a friend of 20 years because he didn’t message you for a week is petty and childish. As is him blocking you because you unfriended him.

clearly not an important friendship if it’s that disposable.

you both need to grow up.

Exactly.

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 11:36

I had him unfriended for a day or two, so he must have looked me up, has seen the add friend .. and then sent a rant along the lines of "given you've blocked me then I'll do my life and you do yours. Stupid bitch." Confused

I was open mouthed as his little symbol disappeared.. radio silence since.

Might bump into him in Tesco, he doesn't live toooo far away but I don't drink so no need to worry about bars. My brother plays football with him, but don't get me wrong - if I see him I won't be causing a scene or anything, I've no interest.

He clearly just wanted to be in control of the situation. A situation that didn't need control, the situation was already over. 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 11:37

@MayThe4th rude and unnecessary

He messed me about. I don't tolerate that.

OP posts:
QueensBees · 02/07/2023 11:37

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 01/07/2023 21:28

Well you'd only been meeting a few times a week for a month or two. He left you on unread, did it not occur to you that maybe there was a reason for this? Anything from his mental health to ill family member to busy at work. The list goes on. I think you could have simply checked in if you were concerned you were being ghosted, as opposed to flouncing off and unfriending him. Better still is that you're laughing about him flouncing off to block you when he realised this as if its pathetic as he is nearly 40... you did almost the same thing. Only you sound about 18.

Show quote history

And you also let them know something going on. Doesn’t take much time to send a text to say ‘crap stuff going on. Will contact you when I can’
You dont even have to say what the crap is.

Thats called being polite and caring for the other person who might be worried sick that you might be lying on your death bed in hospital.

JenniferBooth · 02/07/2023 13:51

MN Relationships board. Husband has OW? Whatever you do dont do the pick me dance.
Online dating? Hang around waiting for him and put up with any old crap because you are not in a relationship so he doesnt owe you good manners or courtesy. Be the cool girl and absolutely do the pick me dance.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 02/07/2023 15:24

I do wonder if you get the odd incel on here who gets angered when a woman is standing up for herself against a man's poor behaviour...

supercali77 · 02/07/2023 15:38

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie There's definitely been waves of what I reckon are males coming onto threads defending male behaviour or picking arguments about women being entitled or 'princessy' (Having a bar set anywhere other than on the ground)

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 02/07/2023 18:51

I've come across many many men who seem to have arrested development. Their emotional maturity stopped at a young age, say 14, and never developed beyond that. I don't know why, but this type of behaviour is a symptom of it.

ontheplayground · 02/07/2023 19:17

100% this isn't the last you will hear from him (unfortunately). He will feel the need to remind you that he's not speaking to you, and also that you are stinky and a poo-poo head.

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 19:54

Yeah I imagine I'll hear from him at some stage

There would be fairly inflated sense of self importance about this one

Thankfully all quiet so far

Baffled at people defending the behaviour

OP posts:
Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 02/07/2023 20:12

@supercali77 100 percent

@ontheplayground 😂

St0nehenge · 02/07/2023 20:27

Agree, weird double standards. Kif you put up with shit, you deserve an arsehole partner who doesn't help or value you, but if when you're dating, you recognise crappy shabby behaviour and get turned off by it, then you're needy/sound 13/have no right to expect respect/communication 🤔🙄

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 02/07/2023 20:50

I would move on myself. I would think there are probably two sides to every story. Ghosting is the polite way of saying you aren’t compatible. He might have been trying to signal the relationship was over but he wanted to be friends or something.

I’ve just scrolled through my whatsapp messages in the last week to see if I had left anyone on read. Thousands from over 30 people. And actually I hadn’t read a few of them. Some people are busier than others it has to be said.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 02/07/2023 21:41

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 02/07/2023 20:50

I would move on myself. I would think there are probably two sides to every story. Ghosting is the polite way of saying you aren’t compatible. He might have been trying to signal the relationship was over but he wanted to be friends or something.

I’ve just scrolled through my whatsapp messages in the last week to see if I had left anyone on read. Thousands from over 30 people. And actually I hadn’t read a few of them. Some people are busier than others it has to be said.

There's nothing polite about ghosting. Or arranging a date and not showing up.

No wonder some men are so shitty if some women believe ghosting is polite.Confused

Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 21:42

We were already well established friends (or so I thought)

The funniest thing was he had been more keen than me

Ah well, it's cool. Just thought I'd share my little nugget of weirdness

Plenty of lovely people out there, I'm in no rush for anything - just don't want drama or weirdos

OP posts:
Original poster
brimfulofsmashaonthe45 · 02/07/2023 21:44

And sorry, but ghosting is impolite. Definitely rude behaviour

If he'd text me and said "Brimmy.. let's knock this on the head" then I'd have been like "oki doki"

I'm genuinely not psychotic, and he knew that. This guy has known me since I was 12 and knows I'm fairly cool

It's a pity he's turned odd, but better now and all that Grin

OP posts:
yipeeyiyay · 03/07/2023 08:00

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 02/07/2023 20:50

I would move on myself. I would think there are probably two sides to every story. Ghosting is the polite way of saying you aren’t compatible. He might have been trying to signal the relationship was over but he wanted to be friends or something.

I’ve just scrolled through my whatsapp messages in the last week to see if I had left anyone on read. Thousands from over 30 people. And actually I hadn’t read a few of them. Some people are busier than others it has to be said.

You've not been out much have you. Have you seriously got no idea on how many people are ghosted for no reason? You are victim blaming. Ghosting is in no way polite. People, I think we have found a serial ghoster!!!! At least we have an insight now. They think they are being polite 🤣🤣🤣

yipeeyiyay · 03/07/2023 08:05

DixonD · 02/07/2023 10:58

Just for future info; it is perfectly possible to block someone on Facebook who has already blocked you.

I don't think it is. Once you've been blocked, you can't even see their profile on FB. It's like they don't exist. How would you block that? Don't you need to be able to go to their profile to block them?

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 03/07/2023 08:45

There was a whole thread on here about ghosting- people don’t want to provoke an outburst/have a confrontation or say things that can’t be unsaid so they ghost- because just maybe, they want to be on speaking terms later. So, in those circumstances ghosting is much more polite than telling someone why the relationship isn’t going to work and hurting their feelings. They could also be going through something or having a wobble- although apparently not in your case.

Sendmymillioninaninvoice · 03/07/2023 08:51

I think you are being slightly unfair- I have a very large family, work long hours, have friends all over and lots of commitments. I usually explain my situation in advance to people and actually know lots of people in the same situation who behave similarly so generally it’s not an issue.

I did make friends with a childless person recently who was texting 4/5 times a day and they clearly were expecting more interaction so I gently took them through what an average day looks like, explained how much free time I get to text and we are cool now.

Definitely not a serial ghoster! In fact I’ve bern ghosted a few times and taken it on the chin.

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 03/07/2023 08:58

@Sendmymillioninaninvoice

Did you even read the op? Rhey were friends for years and had just started a relationship! He went from seeing and messaging frequently to sleeping with her and then ghosting.

It really isn't oh he's such a busy person, and she's hounding him situation here as you're implying.

What a mad post.