Husband has decided I'm mentally ill

[andrewridgeleyfan]

I told my husband last month that I want to separate. He doesn't want to, and he said he thinks our marital problems are in my head.

He's now treating me like you would treat a mentally fragile grandmother, being very softly spoken and patient, practically patting my hand and asking me if I would like a pot of tea and a scone.

I feel pity for him as he's completely in denial and trying everything he can to save his marriage as he sees it.

But it just adds to the list of reasons why I need to leave. But it is making it harder as I am going to have to really force the separation and it'll be so acrimonious.

Also, and worryingly, a tiny bit of me is thinking 'is he right?' I mean, I KNOW he's not, but he has planted that seed of doubt.

Has anyone else experienced this?

He also told me he is a good husband as he allows me to go on holidays and doesn't say anything when I take off. Jesus wept- these men

My exH was an abusive covert narcissist. When I eventually left him, he sent me emails (I'd blocked him on everything else but couldn't on email), telling me how despite his behaviour I must have an undiagnosed mental health problem. His sister did the same, I don't care. I have a lovely life now without him but its taken years to get him out of it. Get on with leaving OP and don't give him any headspace, he can't mess with it then.

Yes, what everyone else has said.

he thinks our marital problems are in my head

They are. Your brain is in your head, and it's worked out that he is not the one for you and you would be better off separated