This is the first time I've posted a thread-I really need advice from anyone!
My hubby and I have 4 children. We've always had dysfunction in our family. DD1 is an autistic teen, DD2 has OCD, DD3 typical 4 year old and DS a mischievous toddler.
I'm a laid back, passive person. I love my kids, my part time job and am happy with life in general. My hubby is loud, dominant, shouts a lot and is very dramatic. He moved away from his family 15 years ago to start a life with me and doesn't really have any friends though he's become part of my extended family.
Recently I'm feeling more and more negative towards him. He's constantly asking for sex and touching me all the time. I tell him every single time I dont like him touching me when the kids are home and he ignores me and continues. He's been waking me up early in the morning because he wants sex to which I say no, I'm asleep and he gets annoyed. Truth is I've gone off having sex with him. There is no intimacy, he doesn't show me any love its just a means to an end and it's always very frantic.
He earns a lot more money than I do. Obviously with 4 maternitys and the children's needs my career has taken a backseat. I gave up 2 years to support him through a Masters.
He asks me to do soo many of his day to day tasks for him because 'I'm quicker and better'. Like writing emails, dealing with his work stuff, anything and everything. On top of looking after the 4 kids practically alone, I do all the housework alone and am trying to hold down my own part time job which requires 13 hours a week training on top of my hours.
He keeps all his wage and puts the majority in a savings I have no knowledge about. He transfers an amount to me each month which I use for the childcare/kids activities/some bills etc. However every single month I have to ask him to pay it, he won't do standing order. And now he's reduced it by £200 as he thinks its too much! He earns 4 times what I earn and I have no savings of my own as I'm always surviving month to month and he has 15 years worth of savings from a high salary.
He also rents out a property which he keeps the income for in a separate account I have no access to. However I deal with all the property management, tenants, maintenance etc. I understand he bought it from his own inheritance and its his money but I'm resenting all the time I'm spending managing the property. I had to deal with a court case as he didn't want to pay a solicitor.
He shouts at the children and none of them like him. They always want to be with me. My toddler won't go anywhere near him. He keeps saying he doesn't understand why they don't like him and I've told him he needs to show respect but he laughs it off. He disrespects their boundaries and winds them up all the time. He never has a genuine conversation. I honestly believe he doesn't know how to.
He's very jealous if I go out with a friend and gives me the fold shoulder. He threatens that he's going to book work in that eve so I can't go then says he's just joking.
I'm at a point now I can't put up with his demands anymore but I don't know what to do. I feel guilty as he set his life up with me. And I know he'll put me through hell if we separate.
I'm so sorry for such a long post but some opinions would be massively appreciated.