BF sulking over my online earnings

[Cassie242]

Will try to keep this brief! Have been with bf just under 12 months, I work from home (kink related work), was honest from beginning what I do and he's absolutely fine with that side of things, the issue that's arisen now is regarding income as we've been talking about moving in together and having more serious discussions about our future, but since disclosing what i earn he's become sulky and just off, and will make little digs about how he has to work x amount of hours to make what i make 'doing nothing' and just sort of childish? Moody?

Partly i think its because he can't stand his job and is passive aggressively taking it out on me, but its starting to make me question our relationship really and whether this is going to be a permanent axe for him to grind, and I've explained to him its taken me years to get to the point where i have a regular income, it didnt just happen over night, but he doesn't seem to get it. Ive told him how it makes me feel when he's acting like that and he will apologise, but then it'll start again a few days or weeks later as if we haven't had that conversation 😣

I just feel angry that he's making such a big deal out of this, its not like his income could take care of us both anyway, but its the sulking and being dismissive that im finding it tough to deal with. And if we move in together will it just get worse?

OP

Good to read you are finally seeing him clearly.

You do not need his vibe in your life.

I too believed you could have found him wanting to control/manage you.

I would be very wary of all men whilst you do this work, but that is probably the cautious old woman in me speaking.

Be very slow to commit financially to someone or reveal your substantial earnings or any assets you acquire.

Be very cautious.

@Cassie242 Because your costs are fairly fixed, you could probably double or triple your income, providing you can maintain the same quality and personalisation - that is hugely intimidating for many partners, male or female. It gives you the opportunity to change your life in a whole host of ways that are not open to your boyfriend.
As others have said, his seeking to gain some control/influence over your business is an unsuccessful attempt to become more comfortable with how you make your money and to feel less of a passenger - don't let that happen.
I think you probably need a partner who's more entrepreneurial, if not in a similar business themself. Good luck.

Lots of questions!

The latest with dp is Ive told him i need some space and having serious doubts, which then turned into him having an angry tantrum which says a lot really 😣 Ive just asked him to respect my wishes.

Someone asked why get into a relationship, I'd been single for nearly 3 years and he seemed nice, I think I underestimated the difficulties involved.

He was definitely trying to muscle in to the action at one point, suggesting 'alpha couple content' and getting on OF as he was convinced that was the new 'thing' like i was unaware of it's existence and simply had chosen not to go on that platform.

For those asking (and those that disapprove feel free to stop reading) I can easily earn 5k per month, however the first few years i was earning nowhere near that amount, so its been a long slog! Initially it was just a way to earn some extra income. When i was earning enough i quit my 9-5. Started selling foot content first, pics, tights, shoes etc, then joined a few of the selling sites where a few of the girls were advertising for submissives, and found i actually enjoyed dominating and it was something that came quite naturally to me, so I was still selling but also doing the femdom stuff for guys seeking that out. Over time i was primarily doing online domination and that was actually the more lucrative side of things, and where I wanted to go, and luckily gained a handful of regular serving submissives, one of these in particular gets off on sending money, gifts, he's one of these high earners that likes to give up control, the others are also finsubs but are also into denial and basically being put into their place! Two are in chastity so have to ask permission to be unlocked.

It is baffling at times how much some men will spend on the most innocuous stuff. I also sell no-face clips, so shoe dangling off my foot or cleavage in a bra, some buy 'rip off' content which is me flipping them off or blurred/censored photos. I make it clear i don't show face and dont do in person meets, so guys that want this know not to expect this. I still sell worn items occasionally but if its for a finsub then I inflate the price, whether its tights or knickers.

In regard to how long i intend to do this, the simplest answer is however long its profitable and worth doing. Sorry @Snowy2022 and others if that's a lot to read!

That's why you're not the OP's partner to start with. For her, working like a dog most of the hours of your day and spend them miserable and hoping you were somewhere else day after day, and then getting paid shit on your payslip, must sound pretty useless and hopeless. However, I have not heard the OP being disdainful of others. I know who sounds like the better person here.

So his tantrum is the real him OP.

Do not move in with him.

Dump and stay safe.

Not being enthusiastic about your partner selling her dirty undies is 'misogynistic' now.

its good money and i enjoy it, I'm not planning on doing it forever but whilst things are financially rewarding it makes sense to keep at it. This is my main job/income,

Now he knows what you can make in a month, he is jealous as hes sees it as you doing very little for alot of money, while he works much longer hours for less money?

But, he isn't seeing the bigger picture here. You have said yourself, the money is good NOW, but you are not planning on doing this forever. And i'm unsure fully whats involved, but it could be that when you get to a certain age, you may not be able to make as much money/interest may wain? Thats unfortunately a harsh reality as women age (I'm not being ageist, but trying to think realistically).

So while you may earn, say, double what he does in a month right NOW - thats isn't always going to be the case. Down the line, say in 10 years, he may well then be earning double what you do. So it will all even itself out over a period of time. Plus you are taking a risk - earning good money now - but your earning potential in this job is limited to a certain time frame, when you can't/don't want to do this sort of work - what are your earning options after that? They may be very limited, while he may then be top of his field and raking it in.

@Cassie242 I don't think it matters what you do, the point is that he's jealous that you make more than him with less effort / hours. It could have been any other line of work and he'd still be an a-hole about because he's mad that you make more than him. i'd ignore people narrowing down on this being a kink-related job, you may have been a well paid law consultant and this man would have acted the same

He's definitely jealous he's already trying to Sabotage your earnings
at one point he was constantly pushing suggestions/ideas about what i could be doing albeit all his suggestions were awful and unhelpful
If you move in together he'll get more and more angry about not being the star of the show, and more and more destructive.

I appreciate all those replying, it's definitely given my head a much needed wobble regarding what the future would be like with him 😣

In terms of dp and potential future earnings there's not really much scope for earning more, without saying what it is exactly its unskilled and ive tried suggesting he re-train or get some more qualifications but he's adamant he won't 'go back to school' is how he phrases it.

I totally get that about it possibly not being a long career, I'm lucky in so far as much of what I earn I save, I'm very money savvy in that respect, and i figure if I can do this for another 5, maybe even 10 years, I'd be more than set up to be honest. And i think especially in the domination side of things there isn't so much of an age limit as there would be if I was an OF model. They really get to see very little anyway, which in an odd way seems to be what a lot of these submissives like. I mean there's plenty of explicit free material out there, and yet thats not what they're looking for.

@Cassie242 would you please consider doing an AMA, it sounds fascinating!

I don't think it's just the money. I reckon he thought he was such a cool boyfriend being "ok" with what you do. Then he's found out how much you actually make and he's using it as an excuse to start being a prick.

He won't get better. His behaviour will only get worse. Time to show him the door.

After a year of being together you've just found out you're not compatible, it happens in life.

End the relationship.

@7catsisnotenough Thanks! I'm happy to do an AMA, not sure which topic that would be relevant to though?

@Frankola Ive told him I need space and he's thoroughly peeved about it! I just don't see it working, like other's have said it feels like it's only going to get worse. I'm generally a super positive person but lately its all started to get me down, the niggling digs and putdowns.

@Cassie242 I'd love to know more about how you originally became involved in the work you do online, what drew you to it, that type of thing tbh. I'm sure there are a ton of other questions that people would be interested in asking you too

The niggling digs and put downs are because he is a insecure twat and he wants to bring you down so he can control you.

This is not a good man.

Dump him and be glad you never moved in.

He's mysoginistic essentially. He thought you were doing it out if necessity, struggling to get by and oh what a price amongst men he must be to 'tolerate' it. Now he finds out you even more than him his puffed up ego has been deflated.

He's not man enough to think 'I have a woman other men would kill for, who's worked hard, grown her business and makes a killing, I'm so lucky'. Instead hes just deflated and jealous. And spiteful about it.

He's not man enough for you.

*prince
*earn more