To not want to dress up during sex

[Justdontwantto]

Am I the only one who hates dressing up during sex? My DH keeps pressurising me to dress up in different outfits (maid, nurse) etc and buys them for me. Says he’s bought me a present but it’s a present for him. Or wants me to do a striptease dance/send him photos of myself but I feel ridiculous. I’ve never enjoyed doing any of that even with ex partners but feel embarrassed to say no. He also wants to play sex board games and I just don’t want to. Im up for sex in general and doing different things/positions/using toys etc but this stuff just makes me cringe. Am I abnormal?

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You're not abnormal - just say no.

Oh god no, i cant think of anything worse 😂

Say no.

It's a hell of a long time since I was married and the man is now ex and dead, but thinking about what I went along with gives me the creeps. And that's nearly forty years later.

No thanks! I’d find it so corny and embarrassing. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it.

Don’t do it OP say No. But I don’t think it’s wrong for him to like or want that. Also ask yourself why you’ve said yes in the past? Time to protect yourself. You’re not his servant, this isn’t what sex is about.

That's so cringe!
I love a creative shag myself but none of this performing nonsense. I couldn't look at myself!

I get it’s okay for him to want that.
ive said yes in the past because I’m a people pleaser, something I’m trying to work on but it’s making me feel uncomfortable now.

Surely you knew to put a stop to this before you married right?
I mean I'm up for sexy underwear but if constant sexy outfits/games etc were a huge kink for my DP I wouldn't see a future! Sorry!

I would definitely say no, especially as you're not up for it. I think that's quite cringe tbh!

Ooh I could absolutely not be arsed with any of that nonsense! How cringey and embarrassing.

Is there anything worse than getting asked to send a video or pics when you’re quite happy chilling out on the couch! I ditched this nonsense years ago lol. Honestly if I wasn’t happy with it, I’d tell him. Sure dress up every now and again is great but if this is a constant it’s just going to get so repetitive for you that you’ll end up hating it so much it could put you off of sex totally in any capacity. its not sexy unless ur enjoying it too.

I wouldn't mind dressing up having to act- nah. Boards games... fuck no. Strip tease?! No chance from me.

It's sooo corny and embarrassing to do.

Anyway, YANA (you are not abnormal)

He's not wrong to like it and you are definitely not wrong not to want to do it. How does he react when you say no?

Sounds like a porn dog.

If you don’t want to do a bedroom activity then don’t do it!

i do think you’re getting a lot of MN prudes on here though, brace yourself for lots of « oh I’d much rather have a cup of tea », « I can’t be arsed » answers.

for what it’s worth this is quite a normal request. If you’ve never said you don’t like it, he won’t know that you don’t like it. So tell him.

Same here.

A strip tease would be awful. If DH did one for me I wouldn't be able to do anything for laughing.

If he won't accept No, then he doesn't understand consent.

I hate lingerie, it s for men, not women, why aren't our natural bodies enough.

A bit of role play is quite fun but if you don't want to then that's not abnormal.

My ex was like this. I hated it and felt ridiculous!
My husband has no interest in sexy clothing. I could be wearing stockings and suspenders or jogging bottoms and a hoody. It's all the same to him. I think you need to tell your DH it's not your thing and you won't be doing it any more.

Ask him to dress up & perform for you, lets see how comfortable he is with it then

Yes, it's nothing deviant or abnormal and if he were addicted to abusive porn, he'd be asking for very different stuff or possibly not asking at all. Dressing up etc is pretty tame.

However, the point is that OP doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it, so that's that (I know you're not saying otherwise). He needs to respect that.

This is making me think of Gavin and Stacey where Pam likes to role play Charles and Camilla with Mick.

Why on Earth haven't you said 'no'?

No it’s not an abnormal request, it’s quite vanilla I suppose - there’s not a lot I won’t do, (because I enjoy it not because I’m pressured), but I wouldn’t do this. It’s a massive, unimaginative cliche and there’s nothing in it for you.

Don’t do anything you don’t want to do, you are not abnormal x

I'm the absolute opposite of a prude 😆 threesomes, orgies no problem but dressing up for a striptease is just cringe!!