To not want to dress up during sex

[Justdontwantto]

Am I the only one who hates dressing up during sex? My DH keeps pressurising me to dress up in different outfits (maid, nurse) etc and buys them for me. Says he’s bought me a present but it’s a present for him. Or wants me to do a striptease dance/send him photos of myself but I feel ridiculous. I’ve never enjoyed doing any of that even with ex partners but feel embarrassed to say no. He also wants to play sex board games and I just don’t want to. Im up for sex in general and doing different things/positions/using toys etc but this stuff just makes me cringe. Am I abnormal?

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I get you OP. I’m not what you’d describe as a prude but personally dressing up, role play and all that comes with it is about enough to make me cringe inside out. It feels faintly pathetic to me in all honesty.

This ⬆️ basically says all there is to say.

In my relationship we made a rule early on - both coming into it with different experiences and things we liked notwithstanding - that if both were happy to, we'd try anything once. But unless both of us enjoyed it, once it would stay. We've never done a 'once only' thing yet, in 15 years together, but that's because communication is also important - we've talked about 'stuff' away from the bedroom. If what you're being asked to try is dropped in from nowhere in the middle of actual sex, then it's harder to say no 😬

WTF!

He cab like it but you don't have to be made to do something your nit comfortable about or then it becomes a type of bullying abuse

I do and enjoy doing things that a lot of people would considering deviancy and I love sexy underwear but am I gonna dress up like a maid or a police woman? Am I fuck, I'd look like a right clown. I want sex to not feel like a stage performance

You should only ever do what you are comfortable with and what you find pleasurable. Feeling cringed, embarrassed and pressurised isn't right.

Did you read the first sentence of my post?

If you don’t want to do a bedroom activity then don’t do it!

I've never dressed up really, but older, a few lbs heavier and less "participative" in bed and I've started wearing nice lingerie. It's nothing I could actually wear under real clothes but it drapes and disguises my wobbly bits and definitely makes me feel a bit sexier and able to relax more. I like if my other half suggests dressing up as it suggests more of a session than a lights-off quickie before we fall asleep.
However, I would absolutely not entertain performing for him. Dress up, role play and stripping are really not my thing and if he asked I would tell him, and I certainly wouldn't do anything I'm not comfortable with. Sometimes there is an argument for "try it, you might like it" but I think if something repels you from the get go it seems unlikely.
It also makes me wonder about porn use and tacky storylines, and is that what is driving it? Which would definitely be a turn off for me.

I did, but then you also suggested OP was being swayed by prudes. Calling women prudes because they don't enjoy a sex act is pretty misogynistic

Hmmm. I often think men who are exclusively into this stuff watch too much porn. There’s zero personality or connection in what you’re describing .

God no, cringe fest! Each to their own but defo not for me. Pressuring you is the worst bit, I don't judge him for liking it but pressure is totally wrong

Uurgh, tell him NO. You’re not a strippogram. What goes on in the bedroom should be fun for both of you.

I don’t think it will go down well to say no and try to talk to him when he’s in the mood.

You need to sit him down this evening and have a chat. Explain you don’t like and don’t want to do x, y however you are willing to do z.

Basically setting firm boundaries when you are both calm and collected.

I don’t think it will go down well to say no and try to talk to him when he’s in the mood

Yes, don't say 'no' to a man at the wrong time... what about his poor little ego?

Stop doing it.

Is it a recent thing, otherwise I'd question why you married him, knowing what he likes?

I remember my first christmas with an old ex of mine. I got him a bunch of stuff he'd actually like. Much thought and effort was expended. He got me underwear, some other sort of joke "festive" underwear and not much else. Never understood why I was supposed to be thrilled about being given new knickers.

I was embarrassed that I'd bothered.

Sorry, complete derail

Too many men think anything that turns them on more has to be a good thing for both of you but if you feel silly or uncomfortable then it doesn't work. Just tell him you don't enjoy it and it interferes with you getting turned on. No man in his right mind wants you to feel less available for sex

So basic mechanics