Husband has terrible wind and foul smelling bowel movements. I am not sure how much longer I can take it.

[Newnamemummy]

Husband of 30+ years developed a hernia years ago.
Has been refused an operation as he won't lose weight. He has now developed foul smelling poos and stinks out the whole house. He also farts throughout the night. He has been tested for bowel cancer and he tells me it was negative.
He is spotlessly clean but I no longer fancy certain types of sex if any. He has bed breath too.
My mother died of bowel cancer as did his father. He takes a stomach tablet. I feel we have lost our relationship and sex life. The smell makes me gag. I wasn't even good with nappies.
What do I do?

If this is a new problem OP, you urge him to go to his doctor. Foul smelling farts/poos and bed breath aren't signs of a healthy body - they are signs that something needs investigating.

Divorce, you'll never fancy him again.

*bad breath (I think we all have slightly bad breath first thing in the morning!)

What is his diet like?

I can't be the only one who's chuckling at this surely?

@Mischance healthy eater and good looking. I do love him and he is a lovely man but the smell. I cared for both my parents until the end and I can't do smells. I actively get up early to avoid being grabbed. Both adult DC comment on the pong when they are home. He's not diabetic yet! I do have a bit of phobia re poo. I've left jobs due to smelly colleagues. We have a three storey house, the whiff will travel to all floors.

Maybe he’s developed a food allergy. Lactose intolerance is a likely culprit. Will he cut out dairy for an experiment?

ICK alert.

I have tried the jokey approach with a cork and said you need the doctor, I am not doing a £30 quid service until you sort out your arse etc.
Have I another thirty years of this?

IF you have done everything you can to encourage his diet to be rich in all the right foods like vegetables, fibres, not too much starch or “beige” food, if you have encouraged him to drink much more water, if you have suggested he sees a dentist to ensure he doesn’t have gingivitis and if you have researched why this might be happening, then you have done all you can.

Your recourse will now be getting him to a doctor but he might be reluctant. Maybe he’s got some kind of gut yeast or fungal infection?

IF you’ve done everything you can to help him and he doesn’t help himself to be a considerate and respectful partner, then you know what to do.

@Helenahandkart ooh. Both DC have milk allergies.

Tell him that his marriage is in jeopardy unless he loses enough weight to have the op. That might spur him on.

The issue here is that he isn't doing everything he can to resolve the problem.

I have bowel disease but I am scrupulously careful to try to make sure that when things are flaring, I'm the only one that knows about it as far as possible.

Someone not giving a damn about their health is unattractive to me and if someone had a problem like this and wasn't willing to try to improve things I'd consider them to have stopped investing in our relationship.

I think this is very serious.

He needs to go back to the GP
Get a consultant opinion- which may include going private for. To include looking again at the repair of the hernia.
In the mean time go Gluten and Diary free - it won’t hurt and might help.

You are sensitive to what you are sensitive to and your husband has to become much more proactive in sorting this out. It is not right.

Just to echo a PP, lactose intolerance poos have an absolutely foul smell that is very unique IME. It smells like rotting flowers almost, but also weirdly sweet? But not in a good way.

Cutting out lactose can quickly make a big difference. It’s much easier to do now than it was - there’s lactose free dairy milk, butter, cheese etc.

Does he have a very heavy dairy diet?

I also second getting a GP opinion. What tests were done? I’d be asking for a fecal calprotein test as well as a stool test for infections as a minimum.

He's a healthy eater and good looking but not a candidate for surgery until he loses weight? Not that far people can't be attractive...

I wouldn't want to live with a man who smelled of poo either. If it's something he could do something about but won't, I'd be off

@cherryassam he pours cream on pudding! He has changed his milk so he must get some discomfort. He is a former athlete so is very diet aware.
He doesn't eat cheese. He seems OK with sourdough. He can no longer do hot curry or cucumber. He belches a lot.
I watch his sugar as he has diabetes in his family. He buys cake as I don't.
We are both aware of the march of time having married in our early twenties but I can't believe he is nose blind.

Obviously it needs investigation. IBS, intolerance to something.
live had IBS in the past and took these https://victoriahealth.com/peppermint-tablets/?glCountry=GB&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1KO57InX_wIVhtrtCh2x3AYgEAQYDyABEgK5ufD_BwE
Your DH will need to take 4 with a glass of water but you should be able to breathe in bed again.

He must be very overweight not to have a hernia surgery. I've had one and I aint the tiniest. Not sure that will make a difference to the other issues which sorry I did laugh....
But you say he is healthy but can't be of refused surgery

@AuntieJune he's big not fat due to his height and ethnic group. His weight has always been huge due to muscle mass even as an athlete. He doesn't eat a lot.

Could he have giardiasis? If it isn't something he has always had it must be a sign of something wrong in his digestive system. Medical tests definitely needed. There was a series on Channel 4 recently called "Know Your Shit" or something like that and the topic of smelly wind was discussed. It might have been the 2nd episode. It was the dietician that got to the bottom of the chap's problem, pardon the pun, and sorted it out really quickly. Look it up. If you think this is like him you can get him to watch it.

There are ways to manage poos. Ring of bleach around the bowl before and scented candle. Or candles, depending on how bad it is.

Additionally a fan can be positioned facing open windows to help move it all along quickly.

My farts absolutely stink and I can’t hold it in as it really hurts, I appear to have developed some sort of food intolerance so I avoid foods which I know make it worse and can go a week or two without any trouble. I have seen the GP but don’t have an official diagnosis. I was tested for bowel cancer and no issues there.

I’m very active, fit and healthy, eat well and drink loads of water. I really can’t help it.

Thankfully my husband doesn’t care. And everybody’s shit stinks.

The fact he is not willing to help himself is a major issue for me though. There’s lots he can do to try to figure out what’s going on.

I don't find this funny at all, my exH's bowel movements and poor hygiene BO and appalling breath made me cry. It didn't bother him at all.
He wouldn't see anyone about it.
He left me for another woman. This woman must have no sense of smell.

I'm assuming he has a hiatus hernia? DH has to take omeprazole at high dose morning and night, but dear god his wind is horrendous especially first thing in the morning. But it doesn't smell at all!

Sounds much more like a food intolerance or too rich a diet.