Husband has terrible wind and foul smelling bowel movements. I am not sure how much longer I can take it.

[Newnamemummy]

Husband of 30+ years developed a hernia years ago.
Has been refused an operation as he won't lose weight. He has now developed foul smelling poos and stinks out the whole house. He also farts throughout the night. He has been tested for bowel cancer and he tells me it was negative.
He is spotlessly clean but I no longer fancy certain types of sex if any. He has bed breath too.
My mother died of bowel cancer as did his father. He takes a stomach tablet. I feel we have lost our relationship and sex life. The smell makes me gag. I wasn't even good with nappies.
What do I do?

My friend's DH developed awful smelly farts and poos. It turned out his bowel was partially blocked and eventually became fully blocked. He had an emergency operation but had to have part of his bowel removed and now has a stoma bag instead.

Your DH really, really needs to push for more information/help, especially as it has got worse.

My DH has IBD and when he's having a flare up some of his farts are lethal and make me feel sick, to the point I'll go and sleep in another room. When he's not had anything that disagrees with him, they're fine.

They shouldn't be room clearing strength at any time, let alone all the time.

@C1N1C i feel bad discussing it but it's upsetting.
He is not smelly at all. Infact he has the name 'polished p*bes' from my siblings as he is so smartly turned out and calls people soap dodgers.
Perhaps I need to have a further heart to heart and a few tears and he might do something.

He should get tested for coeliac disease. This is a classic symptom.

So eight years ago he was reused a hernia op, since then you have both lost weight, for the past two years he has suffered from this foul-smelling poo and farts which are strong enough to be smelled on different floors of your house, but he refuses to go back to the doctor? Honestly, I don't know how you are putting up with this! Or how other people haven't noticed? The smell must be clinging to his clothes and your soft furnishings by now. I think you have to be blunt and tell him that this can't continue - he may be scared about going back to the doctor but surely your unhappiness combined with all his what-if worries cannot be better than actually finding out what is wrong?

@SerenityNowInsanityLater his family came from the Caribbean. Higher rate of bowel cancer.
He has a physical job, doesn't drink has never smoked.

Has he had his pancreatic function tested? Not for insulin, for digestive enzymes? If that’s ok, has he tried probiotics? There’s a particular one by Optibac that really helped me after a nasty stomach virus left lingering effects. It’s called Saccharomyces Boulardii. Worth a try. Also, avoiding certain foods might help. For months I couldn’t eat any fruit. A food diary might be an idea.

Imagine a man posting this! The answers would've been very different.

This poor man has a medical problem. The OP by her own admission is ultra sensitive around smells so it is very likely that the issue is not as chronic as described.

Nonetheless it appears to be a dealbreaker for you. But before you end a marriage to an otherwise decent and attractive man, help him address the problem.

You don't mention what happened when you discussed this problem and your reaction to it with him? Have you even told him how you're feeling?

Charcoal tablets and capsules are pure charcoal, the crackers we had in the house were actually crackers made with charcoal mixed with other things, if he had those it may have made things worse. Pure charcoal in a cracker would have been pretty much impossible to cope with.

He should get a fecal calprotectin - my DD has crohn's. One of the key symptoms was that her poo smelled absolutely dreadful. Almost certainly an intolerance or IBD of some sort.

I agree with previous posters who have suggested a medical opinion. There are several potentially serious and extremely treatable medical conditions that could cause these symptoms.

Respectfully OP, all this “he is big boned” stuff is a nonsense.

The man has been refused surgery.

That happens when he is VERY overweight and could die on table.

Not overweight. Obese.

You need to get him to change diet. Immediately and up exercise.

I can recommend weight watchers app. And Fitbit.

Tell him he quite literally has to sort his shit out because you can’t live with it.

Why is ANY of that her responsibility to arrange!?!!? He's a grown man, he knows how to make a doctor's appointment!

Agree you need to have a heart to heart and explain your concerns to him. Have further medical tests incase something else is going on. But hopefully he can drop the weight - that way he can have any surgery that is necessary following investigations.

Get him some probiotics to take for a month and then put him on course if prebiotics. I had hideous smelly wind issues and a friend suggested it was my gut bacteria not working properly, I'm also lactose intolerant and changing to lactose free milk helped a great deal.

Out of curiosity, is it a hiatus hernia? I have one and take omeprozole for it. My digestion is terrible and I've tried literally everything. The only thing I've found that helps is intermittent fasting and basically cutting out bad carbs (bread and pasta etc.)

I've always wondered if the digestive issues are related to the hernia or separate as they aren't usually mentioned as symptoms

@Bedtimemode it is hiatus hernia.

It seems many people don’t know that lighting a match immediately burns off the methane, eliminating smells in the loo. Obviously, the reason for the smells in the first place requires investigation, but surely getting rid of unpleasant smells quickly would help the whole family.

Sorry about the repetition…….

How is that constructive advice?! Id be interested to know how many times have you divorced if this is the conclusion you jump to so hastily?

I wouldn't divorce him over a heath issue, we are Christians so our vows matter to us. I am just at a loss because it is so difficult to live with the pong. I am not the slim Jim he married due to huge steroids used to treat a health condition.
We actually don't go out much as he belches so much in unknown situations. Stress brings it on.

How much weight has he lost and was it intentional? I agree this sounds serious

Good for you taking your vows seriously Newnamemummy
I am not religious at all but took my vows seriously as its what my wife wanted and I loved her.
In later life her MS took pretty much all her dignity away from her including her having some pretty foul smelling motions that I dealt with in a commode.
I would implore your husband to get himself properly checked out though as it must be a bit of a problem if anyone comes to visit.

The belching and foul smell reminds me of when DP had H-Pylori, get him tested for that. Treated with antibiotics.

Lighting a match doesn't clear the really bad ones, it helps but in some cases a whole box of matches would be needed and even then it would need to be a jumbo sized box.