Who is in a happy long-term relationship? What's it like?

[Abbi634]

Who is in a happy long-term relationship?

Do you feel content? And loved? What's your favourite thing about your relationship? Is there respect and love?

There's another thread going on called 'why do people stay in unhappy relationships'.

Just wanted to hear about the opposite - i.e. those who have been together a long time, and still bring each other joy.

Thank you.

I love this idea! I've been with my DH for 5 years, engaged after 1, married for just over a year. Probably still in the honeymoon period but I am 100% content and feel loved everyday. We laugh every single day, he listens if I need to vent, we motivate each other with goals etc. We roast each other a lot too 😂

Since the moment I met him, I've been besotted with him. Kept waiting for reality to set in but it kept getting better.

My previous relationship was 5 years and couldn't have been more different, I would've replied on the other thread honestly.

We've been together 17 years, married 13 and have a 16 yo and 11yo. I'm happy on the whole and feel content. Yes there's respect and love (I wouldn't have married him otherwise)

Favourite thing about our relationship is that I can rely on him for anything and hes not yet let me down. He's kind and generous.

Being able to laugh at yourself and one another has been the key to our relationship. Be silly, roast one another and keep every day light and breezy.
It's awesome. I know it's cliche but my DH is like my best mate, my previous long term partner was a pain in the arse and so bloody serious.

15 years together, married 12. He's my best mate and we are a good team. It hasn't been all sunshine and roses because of family stuff going on but we've always got each others backs and I know 100% I can rely on him for ANYTHING. We allow each other space to pursue hobbies etc, and try to keep household chores etc equal. We have never had a big argument, and have talked through any issues we have had. We still fancy each other too which helps I think!

Yup. Together 14 years. He is my partner in the truest sense. We pull in the same direction. I need feel alone of unloved, because I'm not.

We do argue and squabble of course, but we're both really good communicators. Its easy to say to him, I felt disrespected when you did X, Y, Z, you need to do it differently next time, and he can reflect on that and understand. I'm the same. We're both slow to anger and easy going. Above all, we love we each other, enjoy each other, and want to provide as nice a time as possible for each other. Its a nice way to live and I think everyone should have someone who makes them feel that way

Hi , been with my partner for twenty years . Things certainly haven’t been straightforward, but we share a sense of humour and similar values .

We are each other's happy safe place. Respect and true partnership in everything. Have learnt who we are and each other is, how to communicate and mostly eliminate the triggers for arguments, what makes the other person bite. Saying sorry. Accepting there will be lows, sex might almost disappear for a while when other things take over. Listening to each other. Showing love through little actions. Luck maybe? Similar outlook on life, and on what matters. Mainly respect. I don't know if it will always be like this, it's been 17 years, 10 years married, one dc

We’ve been together 26 years, married for 17 years.
We trust each other and support each other. Our relationship isn’t perfect but it’s loving, it’s strong, we’re comfortable with each other. We still have sex (sometimes! Not enough. But I think that’s very important).
I think my husband is a better partner than me but I suppose I must have my good points too!
My favourite thing about our relationship is that we just seem to fit. It’s a comforting relationship and just feels like it’s for keeps.
I’d like more time alone together, as with a teenager and a younger one we don’t get any!

Married 15 years, we both feel very lucky. Our children benefit from a stable home and we are all quite content. Neither of us get too worked up about anything so there’s not much arguing but when we do we are able to talk things through quite well. I’m an extrovert and he’s a mad introvert but it seems to work…… SO FAR (child of divorce here so i don’t get complacent😂)

We have been together almost 30 years. He is my rock and my best friend. He is the person who adores me and always takes my side, even when I'm on slightly dodgy ground. He is wonderful and I love him very much - probably because no one has ever loved me as much as I know he does. He would never criticise me to anyone else.

He just makes life better in every way. He has some irritating habits (procrastination!) and there are things he does that gets on my nerves (untidy, disorganised, whistles cheerfully very early in the morning). He's crap with money and is far from perfect. But I would not swap him for anything and I occasionally lie awake at night hoping I'll die first, because I'm genuinely not sure how I'd cope without him. I'm tough, practical and like my own company, but he's my other half and I'd miss him dreadfully.

Dh and I have been together 15 years and counting and I love him. I feel loved and respected and safe. I am his equal but I can also leave the decision making to him when I'm not able to. I can tell him anything but I can also just sit near him without having to say anything at all. I can tell him my hopes and fears.

All of this is, he tells me, the same for him.

We have sex often but it's not a problem when we have a dry spell.

We can relate to each other in little, silly ways and are intimate in ways other than sex. We can complete each others sentences. We pick on each other and poke fun at each other. We can laugh at each other.

We can get angry with each other, and feel safe to do so because there is no name calling or intimidation or abuse or violence.

I absolutely adore my husband. Don't get me wrong he can be a pain in the backside but we are honestly very happy. People didn't expect us to last, but we are proving them wrong.

We have the best time together and I know I can rely on him and I can trust him 100%. I do feel content. He also makes me feel safe and I've felt that sense of safety ever since we met. I wouldn't be without him.

We've been together 8 years and married for 7.

Together 23 years, married 18. We are absolute best friends but I think the most important aspects to a good relationship are kindness and humour. You need both as you age, believe me!

Together since we were 16. 3 kids (well teens). Being with my husband has always been incredibly easy. Life is better with him. It’s as simple as that really 😁. Lots of respect, lots of laughing, lots of love.

Together nearly 9 years, married two. He's my best friend! We don't live in a household of 50/50 if one needs a break or whatever, the other picks up the slack so there is a high level of respect and compassion.
Dh is funny, he's smart, he is empowering and great at making me feel like I'm amazing!
Being in our relationship has changed my views on men and what should be seen as equal.
He makes me and the kids so happy. We all feel very lucky.

23 years together - we’ve changed a lot (met as students) but he’s the kindest person I’ve ever met and that trait has been the backbone to my life with him from moving countries to having DC and family commitments. He is unfaltering in his support of me. He does annoy me on occasion of course!

Been together 21 years, married for 14.
We've been through quite a few of life's challenges and every time the shit starts flying we turn to each other and start supporting, never take chunks out of each other or enter into a 'who's got it tougher' competition.
We make each other laugh, consider each others needs and both pull our weight. So atmosphere is light and there's no resentment building up.
We both have our flaws but they are just average human flaws not 'glaring lack of personal growth or shirking responsibility' type flaws. So we are both tolerant and take the mickey instead of criticising. We're both open to 'constructive feedback' though.
Our life goals and priorities are pretty closely aligned which helps too.
I love it.

is the polar opposite from my first marriage basically! Together 11 years now and he is just my everything, he feels the same. We’re best friends (who fancy the pants off each other 🤭) we take the piss constantly and make each other laugh everyday. He tells me he loves me probably 5 times over the course of the day, but also calls me a twat and I love it. We both often can’t believe how lucky we are to have found each other.

Not all roses, weve definitely had rows, but even during my angriest at him I still know it’ll pass.

Calm, peaceful, supportive. We love and respect each other, and we have each other's back. We make each other laugh, and we genuinely like each other.

Together for 19 years, married for 15.

Been together 8 years, married for 5, he’s my best friend and we are utterly obsessed with each other. We love being together, we used to work together and we loved it. We don’t argue at all, any issues we discuss them and sort them out. Our sex life is perfect, no pressure if life gets in the way, we get back to it regularly as soon as we can. He’s honest and trustworthy and hardworking with the heart of a lion. We both love adventure, even a road trip is fun to us. I can’t imagine life without him.

I am fairly ancient and will have been happily married 47 years at Christmas. We were friends then it turned into something much much more. It's a cliche but we are great friends, I'd rather spend time with him than anyone else. We share a couple of hobbies, but we have separate interests as well.
There has been ups and downs, life ain't perfect, but as long as he is by my side it's perfect enough.

We've been together 10 years and we've grown so much together and built the life and family we dreamt of.

We believed in and trust each other. We laugh constantly and still fancy each other even though we've both changed physically too.

He's a brilliant partner and father.

47 years! What an achievement!

Great thread, and my post could go on either - been together nearly 10 years, first 5 years things were getting worse, we both got together based on fitting with each others triggers from growing up, and things got worse. Then 5 years in we got joint counselling and we realised a lot of things, it got a lot better but a lot harder also. Then we had another lot of counselling and things started to fit into place and get easier.
Now we are much more comfortable and we know if something is not right we can always discuss it later and we won't leave that discussion feeling worse than before hand.
I won't say things are perfect but we have been through so much together it's like growing up together. We are only ourselves because of each other, we were both not quite in the right place beforehand. I think it's lovely that we each think we are worth the effort and got through it.

Yep, together since secondary school, total of 13 years this year and married for 4, baby no.1 on the way.

He is my person and I am his. He is my best friend, soulmate and lover all in one. He's the person I want to do everything and go everywhere with. I laugh every single day because of him. He's 100% got my back always.