Who is in a happy long-term relationship? What's it like?

[Abbi634]

Who is in a happy long-term relationship?

Do you feel content? And loved? What's your favourite thing about your relationship? Is there respect and love?

There's another thread going on called 'why do people stay in unhappy relationships'.

Just wanted to hear about the opposite - i.e. those who have been together a long time, and still bring each other joy.

Thank you.

I’ve been with mine for 21 years since we’re 14 years old. We have our ups and downs mainly due to life circumstances like grief, money, health etc but when alls said and done we’re best friends and enjoy each other’s company and never give up on each other.
i think that’s the key to a happy long term relationship. Always trying to learn more about the other person, compromise and understanding. We can’t imagine spending our lives with anyone else, we’re family now.
If we’ve ever been on the cusp of a break up, we’ve always worked hard to put it right again.

Been together 24 years and married for 17.

He's my best friend, pure and simple. Always has my back. Makes me laugh more than anyone I know. Is a great husband and a great Dad...

It's lovely to read all these stories 😊

Thank you for sharing.

I'm so sorry too @WtP for your loss.

We dated for five years, but broke up in 1983 because he never wanted children. 24 years later, 2007, I was in the middle of a divorce and had two teens, but we met up and have never been apart since. He is my other half, and we spend every minute together that we can. We don’t argue at all, shrug off differences instead. He is my best friend. Our biggest difference is that he likes to collect too much “stuff”, while I would be happy to reduce my belongings to next to nothing. But we meet in the middle. I love that he listens, that he feels my opinion is valuable, that he will compromise, that he’s affectionate and loves me so much! Driving to see my son is a sixteen hour drive, and I love spending the time together. He is the most important part of my life now.

You have plenty of this life left to make a change and live differently if you want to x

This sounds so nice and exactly what I want to manifest for me and my boy xx

This is so lovely 😊

Together for 12 years, married for 2. Mutual trust, respect, shared values and mild silliness are the bedrock of our relationship, along with the fact that I think he's fit af 😁

He's just a good man. He's kind and gentle and smart and thoughtful. Yes, we argue sometimes (we're very, very different people in many ways) but we're also both quick to apologise. We say I love you a lot, but not casually. We are each other's support and cheerleader. We hold hands sitting on the sofa, or in bed falling asleep; we're very tactile even when sex isn't on the cards. Just being around each other is good. We laugh A LOT. He's also been an amazing stepdad to ds, whose own father was a disaster zone.

I had an awful first marriage, the complete opposite of my relationship with DH. But I also have a lovely dad to whom I'm very close. So I saw both sides, and knew I was onto a good thing with DH.

I'm pleased and a little surprised to see this thread. I've felt like the odd one out on this forum because I'm in a happy relationship and don't really have any complaints. Everything else seems so conflict-ridden and adversarial, from 'big issues' like infidelity and violence through to anger at one's partner eating or even breathing. I'm pleased to see some folks just seem to be getting along and even taking pleasure in their relationship. I'm heartened to hear that people can be nice to each other long term! In my relationship we laugh a lot, seem to be able to talk about anything, focus on things that make one another happy, and can be comfortable with each other being quiet too. We don't always think the same thing or want to go in the same direction, but have ways of making that into a non-issue. Our, erm, 'intimate life' is frequent and enjoyable. It hasn't always been like this with other relationships in the past, though they've all started promisingly. We just seem to have hit the happy spot of being able to keep things going.

Yes we are. Married for 1 year, together for 11. We do well because we’ve always maintained being independent in our interests, hobbies, friends etc. and supported each other in our careers. I don’t believe in soulmates - we met at the right time and we make it work

also, letting stuff go. Everyone is human and flawed. I’m shocked by what people make a fuss about on MN!

What a lovely thread ❤️❤️❤️
wish I could contribute but great to read a thread about men where I don’t have to convince anyone to LTB!

Oh yes, it's such a relief at last to find someone who's supportive of me professionally. It makes me realise that a lot of people I;ve been involved with in the past have been trying to hold me back.

Mutual care and love. We have shared values that we can fully express in our life and priorities. He is so thoughtful in the little things which I really appreciate. He is also very selfless. I hope I reciprocate! I was married before and gave a lot of things but didn't get them in return. It was sad and looking back my ex-husband just wasn't all in. My current husband is 100% in through the ups and downs. We have a busy but happy and amazing life that we both really appreciate. We fancy each other and can reflect and talk things through when we grate against each other. Above all, there is just a deep friendship and we are just able to talk and talk. He is such a special man and I feel lucky to have found him. I think he would say the same.

We've been together almost 10 years and married for over 5 of those.

We've been through a lot of hard things together (illness/jobs/kids etc) and what's really kept us going is having each other through it all. We love and support each other constantly, we make sure to find time for ourselves as often as we can and communication has always been a massive part of our whole relationship. Tbh the few times we have fought over anything have usually been because we've forgotten to communicate how we're feeling about something. We're so much better with recognising that now and I couldn't actually tell you the last time we fought over even the tiniest thing.

He still gives me butterflies daily and we laugh together all the time (tbh it was his sense of humour that attracted me in the first place). We just click tbh, and neither of us have had to change anything about ourselves or hide any part of our personalities from each other (we both had to do this a lot in previous relationships).

We actually can't believe we've been together for almost a decade now. This has now been his longest relationship (and he was married before). My last relationship was 11 years but it was awful from just a few months in and the difference between that and now is honestly like chalk and cheese.

Even with the hard stuff we've been through together, I can honestly say I'm ridiculously happy in my marriage. We've had various people describe us as "relationship goals" which is crazy to me but if it's something that helps people find a happy relationship then I'm all for that for them. And anytime I'm asked what the secret is then my answer is always "communication". It's really been what's kept us together through everything.

We've been together for 26 years, married for 19 years, with 3 teenage DC. I still love and respect him, we make each other laugh and support each other.

@Dacadactyl my dad is a good guy too and he and my mum have been happily married for 55 years!

Hubby and I are from two different continents and speak different languages. We met in yet another continent, luckily we both speak English.

We have been together for 13 and married for 11 and have two kids. We are still in a happy and loving relationship. We are a good team and completely trust each other. He is a loving husband and great dad.

Of coure there have been challenges too, specially because we are so different and our families are so different too. Things usually get resolved by us hugging each other.

Anyone in their 20's in a happy relationship?

It's lovely. It's easy and harmonious and I smile a lot. We still fancy the arse off each other and that just seems to be getting better and better.

I remember about 10 years ago, where we lived at the time I'd usually round the corner of the street and see our driveway. Every time his car was home before me I was like "oh yay, DH is home"

He's not perfect. He leaves things on the long finger too much and it can be frustrating, but I can live with that. And I'm probably annoying in some respects too but likewise he can live with my flaws.

He pulls his weight around the house and his favourite thing to do is hang out with DS and me.

Been together over 30 years. He's my best friend who I occasionally have sex with. I would say our love is less passionate but a lot, lot deeper. We really respect each other and it feels like we're a team.

We have ups and downs but we put effort in to get us through the lean times.

Married 26 years. Happy. DH is attentive, complimentary, helps around the house and a really good dad. He is also sometimes self centered, drinks too much and cares way too much about how people feel about him. I enjoy the secure feeling I get knowing he is there for me. All in all, I am very lucky.

Ten years soon.

I definitely feel loved and content. My favourite thing about our relationship is just that we genuinely don't get bored of each other's company and actually like each other, but that we can also spend time alone - we'd rather go to Tesco together, sort the recycling together, cook together. But we spend plenty of time in our own space (me gardening, him painting stuff and have our own rooms in the house to do our other hobbies in) but if he pops his head in and says, "I'm off to walk to the shop round the corner for bin bags, wanna come?", the answer is always yes because we just like hanging out.

It's not all sunshine - we've had some very tough circumstances which have meant there've been times where our communication was off and it wasn't good, and we had to work it out. But there's never been a question that we wouldn't work it out, or that either of us didn't want to. And even during the shittest bits there hasn't been a single day where we didn't laugh together.

I feel very lucky but also very proud - it's been work, in the best and (mostly) enjoyable way, to get to where we are, and we reap the rewards of it.

We don't always think the same thing or want to go in the same direction, but have ways of making that into a non-issue.

@AlexaAdventuress Such a great way of putting it. That’s how my DH and I handle things and we disagree on alot of issues!

Been with my DP 12 years, we have a 4 year old. We are quite opposite in many ways but we work. We have the usual peeves but rarely have big arguements, never had trust issues, hes a great Father, could definitely pull his weight more round the house 😂. He's not a romantic but I know he loves me and I feel happy and content. We have recently got engaged and have another baby on the way.

My favourite thing about our relationship would definitely be the complete trust and no feelings of jealousy, I couldn't be with a man who questioned where I was going or who I was with or resented me for spending time with my friends. I also love that he will do anything for our DS. Nothing is too much, he will NEVER complain about having him on his own. Ive had many weekends away with the girls with no questions asked and obviously it is the same the other way round. Hes a gudden.

I’ve been with my partner nearly 11 years (since we were 16). No kids yet, but lived together for 8 years now. Im really happy, I am pretty sure he is too! I think mostly it’s bc we’re both quite independent (have own friends as well as shared, both enjoy time alone and have different interests) and so we give each other space. Equally, we really enjoy time together and have a shared interest that we spend time on. Plus if I’m ever upset etc, he’s the first person I want to call as I know he’ll make me feel better! He’s also really encouraging and supportive.

personally I find that I love how easily he supports and cares for me (I have a disability) without taking away any dignity or independence. He lets me set the amount of help I need (and occasionally tells me “I told you so” when I don’t ask for help even tho I needed it 😂).

I can imagine life without him and I would survive just fine but I don’t WANT to ever live without him bc I just really love him.

god this was cringy, remind me never to let him see me be so soppy about him online! 😂