To shave or not to shave?

[scottypippen]

I've NC for this. I have met a new man it's early days and we are getting to know each other all is going well so far. sounds silly but I'm quite anxious about when it comes to the point of taking things further. Will he expect me to be fully shaven down below or is it still acceptable to have a "landing strip" which I prefer I really dont like to be fully shaven or the faff of doing it. I've not been intimate with a man for a long time. Do most women fully remove pubic hair now and do men expect to see women fully shaved?

@itsmylife7

I'm not being ridiculous. What IS ridiculous is being 'concerned' that mean want women to look like a child. Whilst there are some nonces out there, some just have personal preference. Nothing wrong with that.

I prefer DH with no beard, does that make me part of the 'I want him to look like a child' camp?

No. That is ridiculous. It's personal preference.

What about your expectations of him OP? Maybe you expect him not to be a man who insists his partner shaves off all her pubic hair when she doesn’t want to?

I think it’s all well and good saying ‘do what you want’ and that your partners of 20 years don’t care, but let’s be honest we all want to make a good impression at the start of a relationship, it’s why we wear nice clothes, do our hair and makeup for dates. Then as the relationship progresses, you become more comfortable and relax about those things.

I think a full on bush may not be appealing to some men (particularly when giving oral), but a nice neat landing strip will be fine.

Vulva 🙄

Eh? How does a hairless adult vagina look different from a child's? It's exactly the same! (I know this from when I've done it myself (so no judgement) in my 'give me validation men, anything for validation' phase of life (now thankfully passed).

Whoops, good point @Naunet

I’d hope no women have a hairy vagina! 😂

As a man, I have never gone down on a woman and was lying there thinking how this would be better/different if she had differenly designed pubic hair.

It doesn't matter believe me. He will be glad he is there in the first place.

I don't like football but I presume for fans it's like going to a cup final with your best mate and your team wins. You aren't worrying about the quality of the hotdogs during the interval.

Are you seriously suggesting that you would not be able to tell the difference a prepubescent vulva and a 'hairless' adult one? Really?

why does it seem like women thing that if someone likes shaving it automatically means they are doing this for their partner? 🙄

personal preferences exist

also, if an adult looks like a hairy child, with said hair being only distinguishing feature of biological maturity, then it's a subject they should discuss with their doctor, and maybe an expert in human hormones because no...shaved adults absolutely do not look like children

As a man, let me tell you- most of us (all?) don't care AT ALL!

You can't go wrong with trimmed/'neat'... so landing strip is fine. If the relationship progresses, then by all means ask him what he prefers... This doesn't mean you have to maintain it that way, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the occasional 'for you' topiary :).

Well to hell with what he "expects" - it's your body, do what you like with it.

Personally I find the idea of men wanting women to look pre-pubertal totally bizarre. And as for women feeling they have to do this to be acceptable - that is just not on. It's a fad. Just be yourself.

I have never removed any pubic hair and never will. I started dating again from my mid 40s and have had sex with quite a few men since then. The only comments I have had from men is relief and delight that I had pubic hair.

Interestingly the only time a man has asked me to shave was in my 20s. I asked him if he was going to shave all his pubic hair off and he said ‘No’ and I said, ‘well then, neither am I’ and never brought it up again.

It’s your vagina so you choose how you like it. If you like a bit of hair then leave it. If he doesn’t like hair that’s his problem not yours.

I have everything off because I like it FOR ME. I hate the feeling of hair. It is whatever YOU want to do with YOUR body - no way is bad or wrong.
And no, shaving it all off does NOT make you look like a prepubescent child no matter how many times that line is trotted out on MN...

i would shave op

Well this post shows quite clearly how this move to remove pubic hair of women is not driven by ‘ personal choice’ but is yet another cultural trend aimed at making women obsess about their bodies not being good enough as they are, or indeed are ‘disgusting’.

Besides, Pubic hair is part of sexual arousal too. It’s all connected. Having pubic hair touched and stroked is sexually stimulating. There is no way I am losing that for any trend!

I've embraced my full, natural bush. I do trim it back and will neaten up the edges if I'm wearing a swimsuit but otherwise I just don't care.
Being hairless made the skin feel raw and sore, looked like a plucked chicken and was incredibly itchy when it regrew.

I think DH would prefer less hair there but it's not his fanny.

@Smallbirdgreengrass that is an incredible generalisation. Yes for some women, the pressure to remove it is a cultural trend etc, but for others it is absolutely personal preference and has nothing to do with men!
Personally the thought of having my bush stroked makes me heave, I far prefer to be kissed on my freshly shaved bits.

I don't care either way, it just makes me a little cross that those of us who chose to have it all off for our own reasons are judged on here to be poor little women following the culture of The Man. For some of us it simply isn't true.

@DontYouThreatenMeWithADeadFish
You'll have to enlighten me please, as no, I don't have any idea what the difference would be. Surely that's is the 'look' you're going for?

@PaintedEgg

'why does it seem like women thing that if someone likes shaving it automatically means they are doing this for their partner? 🙄 '

That is literally what the op has posted. Do men expect me to shave? Shall I shave for a man? So, yes, she and many others on this thread are doing it for their partner. There are also women on the thread who are doing it for themselves, cos they like the feel, or prefer head without it, and would do it when single too, so that's awesome.

But doing it for a man? I'm afraid I think that's gross. (Hypocritically since I did it when I was younger to please men too)

i went to a talk in a mosque about women in Islam. A white western concert, fully covered, stood up and gave a furious diatribe against those who said she was oppressed for dressing like that, and how it was her personal choice, and how dare they etc etc.

But for those who find women fully covering problematic, the issue is not so much that one particular woman choosing to do that, but that women, and only women, are being asked to make that choice. That’s where the sexism lies. ( yes I know men have modest clothing requirements too, but they are nothing like those on women as anyone who has seen a conservative Muslim couple walking on a hot day can clearly see).

I feel the same about this issue. I see it as a choice that women, and only women, are being asked to make. It’s not men who are living in a culture where their friends bang on about how disgusting their pubic hair is, it’s only women.

So any choice any individual woman makes is within that context and culture, which is particularly targeting only women.

Imagine you're applying for a job, would you make zero effort for the interview because, you know, they should be happy with who you want to be and if they don't like it, tough?

Or would you have a shower, dress as expected, show up on time, be prepared for the questions and know your competitors?

I mean, you can choose to do whatever you want, and he can choose to date whoever he wants. But to be brutally honest, not shaving "down there" is the like not shaving your legs. It's just expected these days, and has become so normalised that not doing it makes you the odd one.

Your guy most likely expects it, and your personal preference won't change that.

But the difference is the sexism @onefinemess

Like @Smallbirdgreengrass has just pointed out.

Getting ready for an interview and looking smart is something that both sexes would try to achieve.

But the expectation to wax pubes (and the pain and cost that goes with it) is solely for women. And that's sexism.

You do you, if he doesn't like you as you come, then he can fuck off.
Dating should be about enhancing your life, not bending to suit other people's ridiculous expectations.