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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband came home with a hickey.

60 replies

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:01

Hi girls!
Long story short: my husband went to a strop club with his friends during a trip abroad and got a hickey. He says he was very drunk and doesn’t remember anything but claims he didnt have sex. I don’t know if I believe him. Could u guys share your honest opinion? Is there any chances he didnt have sex even getting the hickey?
thank you❤️

OP posts:
BadgerFacedCoo · 12/06/2023 02:02

He probably stayed after hours to help clean up and fell on a Henry hoover.

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:03

Ps: he got a lap dance from a stripper too

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 12/06/2023 02:04

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:03

Ps: he got a lap dance from a stripper too

What a charmer. 🙄

growgrowinggrown · 12/06/2023 02:15

You really need help figuring this one out?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 12/06/2023 02:20

I'm pretty sure that strippers don't give love bites.

He's cheated.

rogueone · 12/06/2023 02:22

He didn’t get a hickey at the strip joint…

TyneTeas · 12/06/2023 02:25

Do you not mean you stbxdh came home with a hickey?

Sorry OP Flowers

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:28

I know it seems ridiculous. But I do. I feel I am buying his bullshit. He always been the most loving guy in the world and I couldn’t never expect something like that. I am shocked so I need to stop lying to myself and face the truth, but I keep thinking about the possibility that it was just a random hickey…

OP posts:
julieud · 12/06/2023 02:29

I have a theory he met someone or payed a prostitute. What is yours?

OP posts:
Anotherparkingthread · 12/06/2023 02:35

Well he certainly didn't get it from a strip club as they have pretty strict rules in place.

I doubt a prostitute would do that as most of their clientele are probably married and discretion is something they understand.

I'm guessing if he 'doesnt remember' it's more likely he met somebody at a bar or club and cheated on you and doesn't want to tell you.

The lap dance should be enough to leave him tbh.

Playing devil's advocate though are you sure it is a hickey? My partner once got a rope burn on his neck (I was there when it happened) and it came up looking just like a hickey.

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:42

Hi! Thank you for sharing your opinion. 🫶
I am sure it’s a hickey bc he googled how to get rid of a hickey 🥲 bastard….

OP posts:
GlamGiraffe · 12/06/2023 02:42

Strip clubs- usually strict no touching, let alone neck sucking, rule.

Some strippers worse 'case' after their shift..ie sex for money. Some clubs are very well known for this.

Meeting a random woman in bar after step club also good possibility- free sex!

Having said all that I've been known to accidentally give them in non sex snogathons so he COULD have just done that. I think you need to assess him and his mates in balance of probabilities here.. are the the types. It's an either or situation. Trust your gut feeling.

JimmyHalpert · 12/06/2023 02:48

Strip clubs in the uk have strict rules. That doesn’t apply in every country.

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:52

He was in Spain. How bad can that be 😅

OP posts:
HerbsandSpices · 12/06/2023 02:56

He can't remember so his account isn't reliable anyway. What's your opinion on the lap dance? That's confirmed.

GarlicGrace · 12/06/2023 02:57

Well, he's paid a strange woman to wave her fanjo in his face and have - at the least - simulated sex with him.

He's got so passionately carried away exchanging juices with someone that he didn't notice s/he was bite-sucking his neck.

I'm failing to understand where your line is drawn. Exactly what kind of sex do you consider a betrayal?

julieud · 12/06/2023 03:04

The lap dance is completely unacceptable to me. It disgusts me. I know it’s reason enough but the hickey thing hit me like 🤯🤯regardless the cheating who the hell give hickey nowadays. Second how could he be so stupid to allow that

OP posts:
lifestylevlog · 12/06/2023 03:12

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:28

I know it seems ridiculous. But I do. I feel I am buying his bullshit. He always been the most loving guy in the world and I couldn’t never expect something like that. I am shocked so I need to stop lying to myself and face the truth, but I keep thinking about the possibility that it was just a random hickey…

I'm sorry but what's a "random" hickey?

It's not as if you walk down the road, minding your own business, and then a hickey appears!

Someone has given it to him!!!!

TimeToRecover · 12/06/2023 03:14

Not from the strip club

His cheated

julieud · 12/06/2023 03:15

Thank you for answering.

Just the fact he stepped in a strip club is cheating to me.

The thing is that I am looking for the answers he will never give me and I can only move forward knowing how dirty the situation was.

I still live with him and I feel that listening to his excuses everyday could fool me at some point.

OP posts:
AngelAurora · 12/06/2023 03:18

Of course he shagged someone, stupid man clearly thinks you going to believe him.

BubblyBunchOfCoconuts · 12/06/2023 03:19

julieud · 12/06/2023 03:04

The lap dance is completely unacceptable to me. It disgusts me. I know it’s reason enough but the hickey thing hit me like 🤯🤯regardless the cheating who the hell give hickey nowadays. Second how could he be so stupid to allow that

This is beyond "unacceptable".
But you already know how bad this situation really is,don't you?

julieud · 12/06/2023 03:20

I know someone gave him a hickey. But I wonder if it could have happened during the dance without sex.

I am sorry for my English. I hope you understand.

I know I sound very naive but I am really trying to put my feelings aside and see the situation rationally.

OP posts:
AngelAurora · 12/06/2023 03:22

You clearly are extremely naive, he has cheated, no need for him to fill your head full of lies anymore. Raise your standards and dump him.

SunflowerTed · 12/06/2023 03:25

julieud · 12/06/2023 02:29

I have a theory he met someone or payed a prostitute. What is yours?

Yes I think he paid a prostitute too. Have you checked your online banking or does he have his own account?