Help me catch him

[Darkdarknight99]

For all you master detectives out there....
NC for this one but longtime poster.

Long story short, I've suspected for a while that my partner of 18 months was lying to me about seeing another woman.

He's been behaving strangely in our communications all weekend, and my friend has just sent me an incriminating photo from the OW's social media.

Can anyone tell me where this place is? He's very manipulative and I suspect a master gaslighter, and unless I confront him with where I knew he was, I'll get nothing.

The posters going on and on about no need to find out any details whatsoever, just go by the “feeling” of not trusting is plenty to LTB.

Ridiculous. Of course op is entitled to find out what in Hades is going on until she’s satisfied she has the facts needed to make life altering decisions.

And yes there is need for detective work because it may be that the detective work is what gives a little bit of power and control and agency back to the op, and also the facts are then known as far as possible. It can be needed for closure, all sorts of reasons.

I understand the frustrations though of posters who felt op would just put up with the cheating etc because so many women seem to do that and it’s annoying. But that’s not the case here.

I’m talking about the other posters who tried to get op to stop finding out what was going on. I kind of despise people who want to turn their head away, don’t want the truth, want to stick their head in the sand. That’s how those posters come across.

No, he will up his charm offensive if he knows you know. Say nothing, get your ducks in a row, and serve him with divorce papers with OW named as co-respondent and a dated copy of the photo as evidence.

It's taken from the top of Catbells overlooking Derwent water.

Ah just caught your update that says it's over. Good riddance, that worked out better for you than I thought it would.

You still gave op good advice that she can use!

Except that she's not actually married and I've confused two similar threads in my head.

Glad you've dumped him OP.

I was also coming on to say Derwentwater. Google will be wondering what's up at Derwentwater today :-)

I think I was confused too 😀😂

Lake District looking from the East side of Derwent Water looking towards Cat Bells. It’s quite distinctive.

Just text him, say you don't want him to come round and your relationship is over. If he is a master manipulator and a gaslighter, that will piss him off loads more than you throwing loads of accusations at him. He will probably get off on knowing he has bothered you.

Sign off your text with 'hope you enjoyed your weekend in the lakes, tell OW I said Hi' 😂

I agree with Derwentwater. The mountain in the distance looks like Catbells.

If you’re that sure he’s up to no good that you’d go to these lengths just finish the relationship.

Why are you giving him so much energy?

I'd have said it's looking across Derwentwater towards Blencathra - which my Dad called Saddleback.

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER.

You're not trying to get a refund on a dress that disintegrated in the first wash, OP. You're binning a dress that's worn out, dated and doesn't suit you any more. It doesn't matter what his reaction is - you're walking away. You're done.

Text him, block, move on with a better life!

Ah whoops - gone from “name this view” to a dumping within 4 pages! 🥴🥳

I saw it and thought Derwentwater straight away.

@MysteryBelle you've summed up how I felt so perfectly, thank you.

Being armed with all the information gives you the power to go up against someone who's so duplicitous that they've seemingly convinced themselves of their lies. Going in with as much knowledge as you can makes you feel more powerful.

As it happens, as soon as I said the place name, he crumbled. And it helped me so much hearing him admit that I wasn't crazy, that I was right in my concerns. It undoes a lot of the damage done by gaslighting.

You know what doesn’t matter? Your opinion.

The facts MATTER TO THE OP. The truth matters. It might not to you, but this is not about you.

@Darkdarknight99, I’m so glad you got closure on this and confirmation so that you really can move on, you handled it excellently. He admitted it because you had facts to go on and not just suspicions. I so agree with what you said about dealing with duplicitous people. Well done!

And actually, I enjoy a little detective work myself because that way one gets the truth. And the truth is worth getting a hold of.

Well done for taking action OP. Just remember, though, nobody can worm their way back in if YOU don’t let them!

From the google earth image, you can see that to get the phot with the two islands in a row and the smaller islands on the right, the photo is taken from somewhere off the top left of the lake (Nichol End Landing) or above.

Its obviously taken from a high point, not at the lakeside

That’s Derwent water in the Lake District. If you use Google lens search you can even see photo’s taken from the almost the same spot.

Thats 99.9% Walla Crag.
It about 2 miles walking from suprise view(how romantic!), overlooking Derwentwater, kinda local to me i recognised the view.

Google maps timetime would help you out, dont know if apple has similar.
They probably do but it will have a "i" in front of it and youll have to pay extra for it 😆

Catbells the Lake District

Why does anyone even bother dating these days? Sorry this has happened to you op.