Guy i’m seeing thinks women can trap men

[Reallyl]

I’ve been seeing a guy for about 7 months, we’re serious together and have both been tested for STD’s because we wanted to stop using condoms. I have the coil.

We got into a discussion yesterday where he was saying he thought if men have sex without condoms, without checking if a woman is on contraception, she gets pregnant and keeps the baby, she has trapped him.

We recently had unprotected sex together, so I asked him if i fell pregnant and decided to keep the baby that was trapping him. He said yes most definitely, he argued that there I could have an abortion ( I’m pro choice, but having had a painful one in the past, emotionally and physically I would never again).

I feel really disappointed with him, he is essentially saying rather than wearing a condom he would rather me go through a procedure. I am on the coil but I told him no more unprotected sex from here on out. I thought he was a great guy but i am second guessing because accidents do happen

It's a completely different and more invasive procedure, one that has to be done privately because many NHS Trusts don't do it...

Of course but a young man shouldn’t/wouldn’t choose a vasectomy as a temporary solution given that in a decade or so he may want to become a father & by then it is largely irreversible & although can be performed on nhs is not reversible by nhs

Then. Wear. A. Condom.

If a man doesn't want a child, and doesn't want to hand over a % of his salary for the next 18 years should they break up, then he needs to be responsible for his own contraception.

Don't even get me started on the trials for the male pill which were all abandoned because the side effects were deemed too much for a man to have to deal with. The exact same side effects that women get...

Quite a few red flags here OP. Ignore at your risk.

• Talk of 'trapping'. There is 'trapping' when it comes to a woman deliberately lying and there is the concept of 'trapping' as in the man being in an unwanted situation for the rest of his life. Both are of a concern, especially if he's fine with still 'seeing' someone after 7 months, yet not using a condom.

• His flippant attitude towards abortion. It doesn't matter if your pro-choice, or anti-choice. Abortion for most women is still a big deal. He speaks about it flippantly like it's an obvious thing to do because he wouldn't have to be the one who would have to go undergo this. He wouldn't be living with the possible side-effects, even if they're short term. There is also something quite cold about men who speak about abortion in this way.

You're*

LBT

I was referring to more long term relationships where children aren’t wanted early on. Of course condoms should be used in short term or ons situations to prevent sti’s let alone pregnancy however in long term relationships in reality that doesn’t happen so of course there’s a risk that a man could be trapped. Only morally bankrupt women would do that anyway but it does happen

He is telling you in a particularly offensive and unattractive way, that he doesn’t see the two of you in a long term, committed relationship. He doesn’t like wearing condoms but it will be your responsibility if you get pregnant and he dumps you. I would make my escape now, if I were you.

But they had unprotected sex.
He knowingly had unprotected sex with her.

And he's saying that if he knowing had unprotected sex, and that resulted in pregnancy that if the woman doesn't abort then that means she trapped him.

He's a misogynist.

this is legitimately the first time when I've encountered a scenario where someone thinks of an abortion as form of contraception

this guy is beyond disgusting

That's not the senario here though

The senario here is the OP has a coil, the partner wants condom free sex and if the coil fails, as it does with 1 in 100 people, and the OP then refuses and abortion he is saying that she will be trapping him.

This isn't about a woman stopping a contraceptive and not telling her partner. It's about her being blamed as if she has deliberately engineered a failure that is statistically possible.

It's a nasty point of view.

And vasectomies are a perfectly legitimate option. I have a friend who doesnt want children so he sensibly got a vasectomy.

Red flag
run for the hills and never look back!
A broken boy who will never be a man.
A modern example of what young people call ‘fuck boy’.
CYA!! 👋

I’m sorry but he is a misogynist. Regard Of the contraception methods you take you need to keep this in mind.

OP, please understand that this means even if you both agreed to have a baby and he changed his mind once you were pregnant he'd claim you trapped him because you 'could' have an abortion l.

100%

He thinks that men are the prize and women are desperate.

He's also oblivious to the societal fact that men can and do walk away from babies/children very easily if they want to.
And that it is generally women who can end up trapped, not men.

Never have sex with him without condoms again.

Better still, stop having sex with him and get rid of him.

Well at least you know now. Chuck Mr Stupid back, and tell him why.

Don’t think I’ve ever encountered a man who thinks women try to trap men who was, in fact, worth trapping.

It’s misogynist drivel.

Well, you can very easily show him that you have no interest in trapping him. You can set him “free” right now. Toodle-pip, misogynistic arsehole!

There are countless women who were abandoned by their partners when they got pregnant. So this “trapping” thing doesn’t seem to work very well.

Abortions are still technically illegal for social reasons in the UK. So a man that asks a woman to have an abortion because “ he” doesn't want the baby is breaking the law.

Really? This doesn't make sense.

Given the only 100% reliable form of contraception is abstinence

Nope. Menopause is good too. And still having fabulous sex!

This could not be any more accurate!!

He seems like a keeper 🙄

What a creep. Nothing less sexy than finding out that the guy’s a misogynist.