TW (suicide/OD) - how many people do you know who have died?

[Whichwhatnow]

Didn't really know where to put this. I'm just wondering if I and my social group are anomalies in the amount of peers who have either killed themselves, OD'd or died of addiction issues? I've averaged at least two a year since I was 16 (now 38) and have had two suicides of good friends in just the last week. In one case the partner of the guy who died by suicide lost her partner in exactly the same way two years ago, leaving her with two toddlers in her early twenties. This is fucked up isn't it? The other suicide was my sister's ex, and she already lost her fiance to addiction issues a few years ago when pregnant. I feel like I have more dead friends than alive. Is anyone's else's social circle like this or is mine particularly toxic??

I'm sorry that you have experienced so many losses. I do not think your experience is typical. Hope you are OK.

Unusual I'd say

Unusual but there are social aspects to suicide which is why they’re not reported on in the Press extensively.
I know no one directly who has taken their own life, and 3 indirectly ie one step removed- my BILs friend, my friends brother and another friends best friend.
I am late 30s…

If your social circle includes a lot of people with mental health or addiction issues, then it is sadly not unusual to find a high level of suicide among them, OP.
I have lost a teenage cousin, an aunt, an uncle, a great aunt and a good friend to suicide, and two further relatives have made serious attempts.

As a teenager I knew the children of 5 farmers who had all committed suicide. A friend's father killed himself whilst we were students. One of my ex's did just before we got our final results.

As an adult though, no one in my circle has and neither do I know anyone personally who has died of addiction issues. Professionally I knew a few though.

I think the social aspects comment is spot on.

I'm sorry for the level of loss you've experienced, I do think this is probably quite unusual. Personally I have known less than 5 directly who have died this way, a few more who have attempted it and I suspect quite a few more who have seriously considered it.

I know 5. I am 29.

It's a hard world for a lot of people unfortunately. Always makes me sad when I think of them.

I also know a few more old friends from school who are addicts living on the streets which I can imagine will result in a similar fate soon.

I know more people who have died by suicide than I know people who have died of cancer. I don’t have a social circle who take drugs etc, professional people, etc etc. Most didn’t know each other.

I'm 51. I had one not very close friend who attempted suicide as a teen (but survived and has been fine as an adult) and one young distantish relative by marriage who tragically committed suicide a year ago. Apart from that, none. I've never had friends or family members with drug addiction issues, as far as I'm aware.

Your level of experience of this sounds very unusual, OP. Must be really tough to go through

I'm really sorry for your losses OP.

Suicide is the no 1 cause of death in the UK and US. I really wish more was done to raise awareness and encourage suicide prevention, particularly among young people. But unfortunately, I fear that it is very much regarded as a taboo subject.

I dont know of anyone my age (early 30s) other than two girls I was in school with. One committed suicide and the other died of health problems. I wasn't close with either of them but still found it shocking that they went so young.

I am so sorry for your losses.

I lost one friend to suicide when I was a teenager and close friend of my DH a few years ago.

My dh had lost a lot of friends to addiction & suicide. He comes from a very deprived town which lost all its industry in the 80s and never really recovered. I've no doubt that hopelessness and despair is behind many/most of these excess deaths.

I'm in my 50s and knew of no one within my family, social circle, neighbours, etc who committed suicide.

Until Covid.

Then 2 of my clients ended their lives due to being excluded from the covid support, losing their businesses, losing their savings, etc. Both were middle aged and left their wives and children behind, practically penniless and facing homelessness!

Thanks for nothing, Rishi!

@RoseJam .. death by suicide represents approximately 1% of UK deaths annually and 1.7% in the US.

I’m mid 50s

One friend of my ex husband
One ex school friend / work colleague, though it was after I left the company.
One son of a friend.

Three in total, and that’s drawn from quite wide social groups.

I have genuinely lost count. Well over 20 though. I hit that at around 25/26 years old, friends started dying when I was 16.

I don't have many friends or family now. Almost all dead and making new friends just seems too risky/sad now. It does seem some people have everyone die and others very few. About 50/50 overdose or addiction Vs suicide and across ages.

Life is a basterd and I am so sorry for your losses.

In my wider circle I know two people who have died by suicide and two people of around my age who have died from illness (and many older people, of course).

I would say your experience is unusual and I am sorry for your many losses. As pp has said, there are social aspects to diseases of despair, both in terms of influence and in terms of risk factors.

It is really sad to read your post op. And no, this is not representative of the wider population. I have had a close friend and an uncle take their own life. In the past 4 years, several friends / acquaintances in wider circles have died from various causes all in their 40s and 50s but among my friends, this number is unusual.

It must be very very difficult to watch this happen in your circles.

I think your experience is (thankfully) unusual.

I'm 32 and know no one who has died of addition, mental health or suicide. I know two people my age who died of cancer, and one of another illness. That's it

Ahh I'm sorry. I feel the same, like I don't want to get close to anyone any more to protect myself. Big hugs to you x

I know 2, and one person who tried. My social circle does not include anyone with mental health issues, addiction or anything that contributes to higher risk. Your experience is not average, I'm sorry you've lost so many people.

I work in an environment where I have to deal with suicide often. What I would say is when it happens in a social circle it takes away a little from the resilience of everyone else in that group through the grief. It also can make it feel a little less daunting to do when a friend or loved one has already done it. So sometimes it can create a domino effect where you've a group where maybe things are already difficult in terms of mental health or trauma or poverty or addiction etc etc. So it might not be typical, but it makes sense what you've been experiencing.

My cousin killed himself at 18 about 40 years ago
My brother killed himself just before Christmas
My friends brother killed himself in October
My friend from schools brother killed himself about 20 years ago
My ex's dad killed himself in the '80s after serving in Northern Ireland
Same ex's mums boyfriend killed himself
My sister attempted suicide

My mum died from alcoholism
Friends boyfriend died of an accidental OD

Unfortunately quite a few friends and relatives lost to suicide. All men, all in agriculture. 3 relatives and 7 friends in the last ~8 years.