What’s fair

[Hetti1]

im just wanting some views or advice on the following!- been in a relationship for 2 years, I have 2 children from a previous relationship. I have my own house (no mortgage) partner has his own house (with mortgage.

we never had a conversation about moving in but he now only spends about 2 nights a month at his own house

I’ve asked for a contribution towards gas and electric and he just said “I’ve still got all the bill to pay at my house”, he will buy food now and then and when we go out it’s pretty evenly split. Is it unreasonable to ask for a contribution towards gas and electric? I don’t ask him for any money towards any other bills. He has no children and on twice as much as me per year. I also do all the housework

Hope it's going well today op. Stay strong! You got this, you want this.

If you stay strong, then in a very short amount of time you will be bouncing down the street with happiness of being free.

Hows things op?

I hope it all goes well for you today, OP.

Do ring the police if you feel in the slightest bit threatened.

Did your bills go up? Show him.

Hi everyone! It went much better than expected, I thought I would just try one more conversation in person to end it. He probably tried to convince me for half an hour but I stuck to my guns. He left about an hour ago and has taken his stuff and I’ve got both keys!

Oh good!

The first day of the rest of your life!

Good for you OP - glad this thread helped. Remember this point and this feeling, and then compare it to how angry and desperate you felt a couple of days ago, if/when he comes knocking to be let back in.

Fantastic well done! Stay strong over the coming days/weeks and re read this thread if necessary 👏

Well done OP!

Yay well done. Enjoy your spa break, having the bed to yourself and much lower food and utility bills.

Please tell a neighbour you are going away and ask them to keep an eye on your house... Incase he comes back and tries to get in..

Show a good example to your girls, OP, else they'll do the same in the future. Choose better next time. Well done x

Well done! Enjoy the extra money 😁

Well done OP.

It's easy to get sucked in, but he was nothing but a freeloader.

Onwards and upwards.

So pleased for you OP. Enjoy your time away

Decide to chuck him out and spend your hard earned money on you and your kids. Go to counseling to help you through the bit when he wants to return. Be strong and gather your friends and family round you to support you.
You can do this and you will wish you had done it sooner when you look back. Cut all ties and good luck for the future.
Stop this torture.🥰

I've been in a similar position. Sounds like the guy is worried about committing to the financial side. He is reaping the benefits of being with you but not having the full financial responsibility. If I were you I'd ask him about if he wants to move in permanently and if so that he rents his flat out. That will cover his mortgage. Sounds like he is just worried about the financial commitment but is comfortable testing the waters. I'd suggest that you guys try to sit down and decide whether in fact you are living together or if you are both living separately. If you do decide that you are living together, then you both need to have a list of debts, full list of credits and you need to set up a joint account where you both put enough money in to cover the following: Gas, electric, council tax, water, food shopping and anything else. Good luck. I think this will be ok. I hope your relationship works well and God bless you all x

Only 2 years, haven't even discussed moving in, but he is essentially all but moved in? Put your children first here ffs.

Sorry, read update. You've done the right thing.

Ask a friend to come around and be at your house while you ask him to go.
Have no guilt this is your home, your choices.

How are you doing, did he try and come back?