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Original poster

Has anyone dated a surgeon

117 replies

Ccvyvyan · 19/05/2023 19:22

Are They troublesome to date with the work schedule? I’ve got a date with a guy from work but he seems like a stress person and wondering what am I letting myself in for. 🌲

OP posts:
Izzy24 · 19/05/2023 22:39

TomatoSandwiches · 19/05/2023 19:39

Orthopedics meh.

Yes this 😂

Irisheyesareshining · 19/05/2023 22:41

Married to one , avoid 😂 we can’t plan anything, lots of on calls and yes I am definitely a widow to his job ! I think I could possibly pass a degree in medicine now with all the things he explains to mr . Also an air of arrogance exists , suppose it’s good to have a confident surgeon in work but it does my head in at home . I am very opposite to him, I am pretty kooky which I think he likes .

ShandaLear · 19/05/2023 22:42

Orthos are generally v macho, competitive, and very much the star of their own movie. That said, they’re usually pretty fit and good looking. Go and have fun and enjoy yourself. Treat it as an opportunity to spend some time with someone new, and know your own worth.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/05/2023 22:54

Atethehalloweenchocs · 19/05/2023 20:33

There was a thing I read the other day about the 5 professions to stay away from when marrying - firefighter, cop, military, surgeon and pilot. It was really interesting. Dont know if I agree with it, but the advice came from a divorce lawyer.

Absolutely and utterly!! After years of online dating, I got to know a lot about a lot, and in the end, I swiped left on all these jobs.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/05/2023 23:03

I was talking to a psychologist, and she was explaining that we actually need psychopaths in society, because they become surgeons, they have so little empathy or emotions, that they are able to perform complicated surgery with blood and stuff everywhere without feeling anything, so they don't mess up, bevause to them they're just separating that bit from that bit, whereas normal emotional people would be panicking.

27penny · 19/05/2023 23:06

IsThePopeCatholic · 19/05/2023 19:34

A tree surgeon would be fit and strong.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

TomatoSandwiches · 19/05/2023 23:20

arethereanyleftatall · 19/05/2023 23:03

I was talking to a psychologist, and she was explaining that we actually need psychopaths in society, because they become surgeons, they have so little empathy or emotions, that they are able to perform complicated surgery with blood and stuff everywhere without feeling anything, so they don't mess up, bevause to them they're just separating that bit from that bit, whereas normal emotional people would be panicking.

Yes they have a purpose and it may even be an evolutionary development, it is an interesting subject.

Irisheyesareshining · 19/05/2023 23:21

@arethereanyleftatall don’t agree with that at all . Yes there has to be some separation of emotions to allow them to do the job but my husband has come home many times upset about patients and his colleagues are also very caring .

TomatoSandwiches · 19/05/2023 23:28

Irisheyesareshining · 19/05/2023 23:21

@arethereanyleftatall don’t agree with that at all . Yes there has to be some separation of emotions to allow them to do the job but my husband has come home many times upset about patients and his colleagues are also very caring .

Sociopathy is a spectrum, not many people will tick zero boxes on the scale.
We all have aspects that relate to this personality but we have many others that make up a whole person which negate or depress certain aspects that would otherwise be quite alarming and turn it into an asset for people like your husband.
I'm sure he is a wonderful man and a brilliant surgeon.

HoppingPavlova · 19/05/2023 23:39

He will, rightly so, put the job first and you will, rightly so, come second after that. If you are happy with those parameters, and I know people that are, then all good. If you are not happy within those parameters then don’t bother. It’s that simple really.

BackAgainstWall · 19/05/2023 23:39

You sound very narrow minded and from that perspective I wouldn’t bother for both your sakes.

When you grow up and mature, you’ll hopefully appreciate that no matter what someone does for a living/career they are all individuals and unique.

Improbablecat · 20/05/2023 00:23

Irisheyesareshining · 19/05/2023 23:21

@arethereanyleftatall don’t agree with that at all . Yes there has to be some separation of emotions to allow them to do the job but my husband has come home many times upset about patients and his colleagues are also very caring .

I agree with you. And a big part of my job is actually diagnosis of psychopathy. In all healthcare jobs you have to be able to put your emotions to one side - as you know, the surgeon is never the only person in the operating room but no one goes around calling scrub nurses, ODPs, anaesthetists psychopaths. Same for many professions who see distressing things e.g. firefighters. It's glib pop psychology to go around calling people sociopaths because of their careers.

tobee · 20/05/2023 00:41

BackAgainstWall · 19/05/2023 23:39

You sound very narrow minded and from that perspective I wouldn’t bother for both your sakes.

When you grow up and mature, you’ll hopefully appreciate that no matter what someone does for a living/career they are all individuals and unique.

Patronising much.

DreamTheMoors · 20/05/2023 06:14

I dated a surgeon once.

I dated a surgeon. Once.

IntoDeepBlueSea · 20/05/2023 06:55

BackAgainstWall · 19/05/2023 23:39

You sound very narrow minded and from that perspective I wouldn’t bother for both your sakes.

When you grow up and mature, you’ll hopefully appreciate that no matter what someone does for a living/career they are all individuals and unique.

Grin bless.

I've worked in medical publishing for 25 years. You often get responsibility for a variety of subjects. So you could be working with ENT doctors on some books, and radiologists on others.

NO ONE ever wants the orthopod list!

Apparently it's something to do with using power tools and breaking bones! Makes you feel invincible, God-like.

Anyway, yes, not all surgeons, all the time, but most of them, very often.

useitorlose · 20/05/2023 06:59

Yes, a plastic surgeon. He was genuinely one of the nicest people I ever met. We had a predetermined casual relationship that suited us both at the time. His spare time was occupied mostly by golf and fishing and I don't know if he's single now (at 40 he'd never been married) but he would not have a lot of free time for anyone more needy.

coodawoodashooda · 20/05/2023 07:20

BreviloquentBastard · 19/05/2023 19:35

My brother is married to one. The good ones do always put the job first and it can be tricky to navigate around the schedule - you have to be ok with being alone a lot or having them dash out in the middle of things or miss special occasions. It works for them because my brother is a hermit who loves his own company so the frenetic lifestyle actually suits him, but it's not for everyone.

He always says he's married to her but she's married to her scalpel and seeing him on the side.

That sounds like a health arrangement

waltzingparrot · 20/05/2023 07:41

My friend's dating one - cold and controlling.

Corknut · 20/05/2023 07:44

Bit shocked by some of these comments and also not at the same time. I’m married to an orthopaedic surgeon. They aren’t all bad but he is also married to his job. I knew what I was getting myself into when I ‘signed up’. We have been together since we were teenagers and are besotted with each other. Be prepared for lists running over, the god complex and all the late nights but don’t write him off, there are some good ones

Redlarge · 20/05/2023 07:49

Yes he thought he was god and much more attractive than he was. Low opinion of women as it turned out too.

ArcticBells · 20/05/2023 07:55

LadyatLady · 19/05/2023 19:25

Be prepared. God complex and controlling.

This

Highlighta · 20/05/2023 07:59

I had the misfortune of having to deal with an ortho surgeon. What a horrible man he was. Spoke down to everybody, definitely had the God complex. I know he is only one man, but I've dealt with many other surgeons, but his arrogance just stood out.

The ENT though. Swoon...

He could put his grommet in me any day. 😜

LadyatLady · 20/05/2023 08:00

Redlarge · 20/05/2023 07:49

Yes he thought he was god and much more attractive than he was. Low opinion of women as it turned out too.

It was bizarre for me watching him trying to not display his low opinion of women.

I’m still in a group of people where I might see him 3-4 times a year and I feel sorry for his wife tbh. She just seems to kowtow to him and he’s pretty controlling even in usual social situations. Although she doesn’t seem unhappy, she’s happy to be home etc

Hippiechickie · 20/05/2023 08:05

Katiekate19 · 19/05/2023 22:32

I honestly find the "you'll be bringing up the children alone" comments baffling. I've been with my now consultant husband since university. There have been rotations and hospitals with longer and more difficult shifts. But since mid-level registrar, it's predictable - we know what days he's in surgery so may be late, on calls are substantially easier and are majority from home and he's no longer on site every day. I would say nursery/school drop offs are a 60/40 split.

I'm not saying some consultants don't have it worse but just to give a little balance!

@Katiekate19 you have been really lucky. I’ve practically solo parented the whole of the early years. He’s a consultant (not ortho though) now and is lovely to have him around now. I would say the combination of his training, having children and covid have broken my (medical) career. Hopefully I’ll get back on track once the youngest is at school.

user1494050295 · 20/05/2023 08:14

A friend who I play sport with is a Willy doctor (female) has a male partner and has to put her job first due to the constant training.