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Original poster

Has anyone dated a surgeon

117 replies

Ccvyvyan · 19/05/2023 19:22

Are They troublesome to date with the work schedule? I’ve got a date with a guy from work but he seems like a stress person and wondering what am I letting myself in for. 🌲

OP posts:
Flowersun6 · 19/05/2023 19:45

Sorry I think itvis the job in this case OP. Obviously you will meet a small minority but generally surfeons do have certain types of personalities.

If you have not met a medical school or work in a similar field I think you would find it hard to gel. Life is too short though OP if you want to try and give it a go... do it. If its not working I wouldn't gang around in hope... Good luck!

Lemieux3 · 19/05/2023 19:46

I dated one. He was a narc.

Pestispeeved · 19/05/2023 19:47

Tree surgeon, go for it.

NHS, short term dirty sex, yeah. Lifelong relationship, nah.

Original poster
Ccvyvyan · 19/05/2023 19:48

Ugh I think I’ll leave it. It didn’t work out before anyway, Rocky and awful

OP posts:
Thehonestbadger · 19/05/2023 19:49

I’m married to one but not ortho.

We have two small children now and our lives have been completely ruled by his shifts. It’s a consuming pattern.
Never guaranteed to be home on time
Can never do a nursery drop or pick up
On and off on calls…

I ended up having to leave my job because his complete lack of flexibility or reliability essentially made me function like a single parent. I kinda knew I suppose but we dreamt big and by the time reality of having the kids set in it was too late!

hellosunshine8 · 19/05/2023 19:50

Orthopaedics isn't too bad. Most of the ones I know were OK. Better than transplant. They're just plumbers, don't fix things just take the old one out and whack a new one in. But they have one of the biggest god complexes of all. Most drama we had was with plastics.

Katiekate19 · 19/05/2023 19:52

Just to give some balance! I'm married to one and he's the kindest person I've ever met!

Yes he works long hours but now he's a consultant he's only actually at the hospital for three days, the rest from home. On calls are also from home and he very rarely had to go in.

There are good and bad people in every job, give him a chance!

travellinglighter · 19/05/2023 19:54

Having been married to an anaesthetist, she used to say “What do surgeons use for contraception? Their personality.” Alternatively, “What’s the difference between God and a surgeon?….. God doesn’t thing he’s a surgeon.” Saying that, I met some complete arseholes but I met a couple of really nice surgeons.

planthelpadvice · 19/05/2023 19:55

I've found orthos pretty arrogant - but I working was in a London major trauma centre so they really thought they were the bees knees.

I think it does take a certain self-confidence/arrogance though to be good at their job. Who wants a nervous, dithery surgeon with low self esteem?!

TimesRwo · 19/05/2023 20:06

Dated a surgeon for several years. Absolutely great and loyal guy who worked hard, but always made time for us and me. Split for reasons unrelated to his personality and we are still in touch. He is also someone I turn to for medical advice for DS when I can’t get him seen by a doctor and he always makes time to help and at times goes out of his way to help.

Mumofnarnia · 19/05/2023 20:07

Ccvyvyan · 19/05/2023 19:22

Are They troublesome to date with the work schedule? I’ve got a date with a guy from work but he seems like a stress person and wondering what am I letting myself in for. 🌲

If they’re anything like they behave ‘professionally’ with staff who are ‘underneath’ them then watch out

LadyatLady · 19/05/2023 20:25

Ortho here (as in dated). Total utter god complex. Watch them eat steak too! Controlling, manipulative. Exceptionally good at his job. Entitled. Small dick. That could happen if he was a surgeon or not. Oh yes and lack of chest hair and lower leg hair due to exposure in theatre (I was told anyone).

Atethehalloweenchocs · 19/05/2023 20:33

There was a thing I read the other day about the 5 professions to stay away from when marrying - firefighter, cop, military, surgeon and pilot. It was really interesting. Dont know if I agree with it, but the advice came from a divorce lawyer.

Whyy · 19/05/2023 20:36

I know a lot of medics. The surgeon who lives up the road is really nice, he’s always kind and checks over our kids when they injure themselves. I also know some other surgeons who are super lovely. And orthopaedics is a licence to print money.

The women I know who are married to hospital medics have largely had to put their own careers on the back burner for the sake of family life and the schedule plus young family is tough (especially as it seems to happen whilst still in training).

I know a couple of really arrogant medics who really are just rude and obnoxious (one has a bully for a child too) but they are clinical and not surgical. So I’d say the god complex isn’t necessarily a surgeon thing.

Pestispeeved · 19/05/2023 20:40

Atethehalloweenchocs · 19/05/2023 20:33

There was a thing I read the other day about the 5 professions to stay away from when marrying - firefighter, cop, military, surgeon and pilot. It was really interesting. Dont know if I agree with it, but the advice came from a divorce lawyer.

Two of my neighbours are pilots, they appear to be be quite nice and normal. But, you never know.

ameliaandme · 19/05/2023 20:40

Don't you have to be quite strong and physically fit to be an orthopaedic surgeon? I watched a hip replacement as a student and whoo hoo it took strength.💪

Could be ripped like Ned Flannels lol

Oblomov23 · 19/05/2023 20:44

Can't believe you are even considering this. Surgeon for frozen shoulders? Your'll be frozen out, to the job.

Eurodiva · 19/05/2023 20:46

I have two good friends who are both married to orthopaedic surgeons.
Both have happy marriages and a good life and the guys are great fun to spend time with.

Mumofnarnia · 19/05/2023 20:49

Atethehalloweenchocs · 19/05/2023 20:33

There was a thing I read the other day about the 5 professions to stay away from when marrying - firefighter, cop, military, surgeon and pilot. It was really interesting. Dont know if I agree with it, but the advice came from a divorce lawyer.

Funnily enough I’ve found out the exact same…..not through anything I’ve read, but from bad experiences on OLD. I’ve never met any such people for a date but I found their overall attitudes on messages absolutely appalling

Hbh17 · 19/05/2023 20:53

I know lots of surgeons - they are not controlling, nor arrogant. But - entirely properly - they put the job first. So if they get called in to work, they go. They have to do all their exams. Some of them will do private practice in addition to their NHS work. If you plan on having children, be prepared to "single parent". Don't marry/live with a surgeon if you expect to be the centre of attention. I don't have a problem with any of this, but do have an issue with spouses/partners who are happy to take the (mainly financial) perks but then moan that they come second to the job. Go in with your eyes open, and make an independent life for yourself that can operate separately from the partner.

Time4achange2 · 19/05/2023 20:57

What's the difference between God and a surgeon?
God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

Improbablecat · 19/05/2023 20:57

My husband's a surgeon. I mean, I got him before he was a surgeon so maybe I had a bit of influence there, but I still like him quite a lot 😄
Work is busy and you have to accept that sometimes it won't be possible for them to simply hand over and leave work. But I'm medical too and we make sure our days that are likely to be like that don't clash now we are parents.
I really think it's more about the person than the job. There are decent people and dickheads in all jobs.

gogohmm · 19/05/2023 21:00

Once, well 4 dates - enough

Darkroot · 19/05/2023 21:01

Sorry to derail for a moment but I’ve always wondered, those who have jobs when you’re on call from home, can you ever go out and just get drunk? Are you on call all the time?

I remember when my DC was a baby, had to take them to the hospital quite late at night and they called in an ent doctor - she looked like she had been on an evening out (not as in drunk, just dressed up)
I felt so bad that we’d ruined her night but also incredibly grateful!

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