Married men in 40s/50s ..I despair!

[gunnipl]

I dont go out much anymore but went out for dinner and drinks last night.
Perhaps I am innocent and the landscape has changed but the pub I went to is our local of sorts.
I live in a big town in Ireland , a town that's known for tourists and holidaymakers . A foodie type place.
Anyway, the pub was filled with married men on golf trips, stags and weekend get aways.
I am a very average woman of 48 and was hot in by at least ten men.
All of them married, all but two wearing weddings rings , all admitted to be married .
I am genuinely shocked by this . Am I completely naive ?
I'd like to meet a man and on line dating doesn't seem to be for me so I feel utterly hopeless this afternoon.

I will be short bec this is old post and I am typing from phone. Men (and people) acting like this is normal. I read some evolutionary psychology and anthropology and the general picture is that all cultures ( except our self castrated Catholicism) allowed sexual liberties for their people, in rituals, customs, summer festivals, etc. Besides, men can have sex without any emotion. If they say it was just sex, it was just sex. If they don't leave us, it is because we are their long term companions. They need that, but they also need the cheat sex. If society was more relaxed about these realities, we could enact these desires with less hipocrisy. Going away to do the act is actually more elegant than cheating with workmates. Sexual infidelity is the rule, not the exception, said one anthropologist. So we have to acknowledge this.

Perhaps it was just some fellas having a laugh and a bit of a flirt off the leash...a bit of harmless fun? Meaningless chit chat after taking to their mates all week?

If sex is on offer …. Married or not…. 99% of men will go for it.

I mean, come on...do 99% of drunken married women when they're out and about behave the same as they do when their husbands and children are around?

Does that mean they're about to do the dirty like nothing matters?

There are different modes of behaviour for different situations; do we all behave the same with our friends as we do do with our children/mother/maiden aunts?

Nah x

@gunnipl OP, how do you know these men were interested in you in a non-platonic way? They were most likely just being friendly. Especially in a pub setting where plenty of people are socialising.

I've had many conversations and interactions with women where they have been extremely friendly and touchy. But I have the social awareness to understand these are just friendly interactions and nothing more. Do all adults not have this same level of understanding?

In the early ‘90s I worked as a waitress in a cocktail bar (yes really 😁) in a hotel frequented by business men. I was propositioned by middle aged married men every single working day, multiple times, often by men in the same group. Sometimes they fought over who would ‘get’ me. It was part of the job to turn them down without offending them. Grim.

The OP is 48 years old. Do you honestly think she doesn’t know the difference between a friendly chat and a pick up line? Come on, you can’t be that naive.

My best worst story if that makes sense was at a primary school nativity play. Photos were allowed but a Dad had forgotten his phone. I didn’t know him but was sat next to him, I offered to email the ones I took. He gave me his work email. I sent them, he thanked me, I replied no problem, he then sent a very suggestive email about meeting up. He knew full well I was married as was he. I hold DH.

There has been many a scenario in pubs and clubs over the years but that just shows an absolute chancer. The last time I was really harassed was when I was having lunch in a little cafe alone. The guy was really persistent, I told him I was married, apparently my husband wouldn’t mind as he wouldn’t know. I was 54 at the time and he was in his forties probably. I’m mixed race and as well as your bog standard pervert there has been many an aren’t you exotic comments.

90% + of married men would have an affair if they could.

It shouldn't be a suprise really.

@MayaPinion If someone thinks that a dozen married men are making a move on her within one night, then yes, that person does not know the difference between friendly conversation and sexual interest.

Lol. There speaks a poster who has never been a reasonably attractive woman in a room predominantly populated with men 'on the loose'. If a woman was saying this about a trip to Tesco, or her commute, I'd be inclined to agree. But take it from me, if you find yourself in a male dominated room, with men out with 'the lads' for stag dos, after the football/boxing/rugby, and you're a woman, or even a man with eyes in his head who's interrsted enough to observe what goes on, you wouldn't be casting doubt on the OP.

Men don’t do ‘friendly’ conversation with other men or with women they’re not attracted to. A lot of men wanted to have ‘friendly conversations’ with me when I was a slender twenty something, but now I’m a chunky fifty something these so called great conversationalists are nowhere to be seen.

Yep when something goes up sense goes out of the window . I think most men would do it if they knew they wouldn't get caught .

That's partly why so many famous men cheat because they're constantly getting offered. Most men don't cheat because they don't have the chance.