Married men in 40s/50s ..I despair!

[gunnipl]

I dont go out much anymore but went out for dinner and drinks last night.
Perhaps I am innocent and the landscape has changed but the pub I went to is our local of sorts.
I live in a big town in Ireland , a town that's known for tourists and holidaymakers . A foodie type place.
Anyway, the pub was filled with married men on golf trips, stags and weekend get aways.
I am a very average woman of 48 and was hot in by at least ten men.
All of them married, all but two wearing weddings rings , all admitted to be married .
I am genuinely shocked by this . Am I completely naive ?
I'd like to meet a man and on line dating doesn't seem to be for me so I feel utterly hopeless this afternoon.

@5128gap Do you think all the wives of the men in that bar also know they're twats? But are somehow OK with it? No one is writing off the entire male sex. This is a thread about the high numbers of married men aged 40/50s who hit on other women, and the fact that so many of their wives are likely to be oblivious. No more, no less.
I think more men are NOT being pigs than are being pigs. It's just the the pigs stand out

Sad you think this. I think it's the opposite.

Yes because you were in bars and clubs. Not exactly a random selection of men. Lots of men are playing golf, cycling and eating and not hanging out in bars and clubs.

@SecretsIWouldNeverTell what I read from your extremely long post is a) you believe almost all men cheat and b) you are a cheater.
Ok

My standards are way up now, I won't even tolerate men sleazing on other womens pics.

And they could have the most amazing woman.. look at the famous actors and singers with beautiful wives and amazing lives.. they still cheat. It's no reflection on the wife.

SecretsIWouldNeverTell

That was a great post, thank you for sharing it. Life isn't black and white like some would like to believe, it's every shade in between and then some.

I've never been hit on more in my life than now I'm in my 40s and by men in their 40s and 50s. I'd like to know if there is some kind of science behind this!

@MaxTalk maybe you need to nip over to the thread at the moment where so many wives absolutely 100% state that their DH/DP would never ever be like this. I'm not saying their partners are the kind and not all men are , but they don't even seem remotely to get that there is sadly always that possibility and often the most unlikely men too.

Maybe the last hurrah, mid life crisis, they assume you'll be bored in your marriage too and up for it. Not sure!

I don’t mind admitting I wouldn’t be with a man who wanted to go away on regular “lads trips” or even nights out. Surely you grow out of that if you have a happy home life? My dh has individual friends whom he occasionally goes for a pint with but he prefers being home with his family. As do I.

When me and my best friend go out we always get hit on by married men. Even fathers we know are parents from our dcs schools but perhaps don’t recognise us when we’re dressed up. It’s gross. I hate all that laddish type of behaviour.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that men aren’t biologically designed to stay with one woman for their whole lives. It’s our current society that promotes monogamy, not nature! We are naturally not monogamous creatures so it’s really no surprise that men stray! I think I remember reading that men are biologically designed to stay with a woman rearing offspring until the child is around 2 years old.

And yet, single and/or childfree women are shamed and told to get a husband quickly 😬!
Crazy!

Utter bollocks. By the same token none of us are 'biologically designed' to work on computers all day but we do, because we adapt. We have thinking brains, we're not just a bundle of hormones. We are human and have formed a society which recognises that BOTH parents should be involved in raising their children. Men justify their vile behaviour by claiming they are victims of their biological design. Fine. Let's stick the entitled twats in a zoo and let women run the world!

I don’t think nature is ‘utter bollocks’ to be honest. It’s been designed this way to keep the human race alive!

Lol

What donyou mean by "hitting on".

I quite often have men chatting, a bit of mild flirting but it's rare for them to really try anything. IME they (and I) are just enjoying a few drinks and a sociable night out. It's not hard to get rid of them, if you don't want the same. Or at least not the ones I meet.

DP is obsessed with golf, it's his main passion. He goes abroad with friends for a week every year, and a couple of UK short trips too.

I'm happy for him to do it, I like going away on my own too. I know DPs friends and they're all decent blokes. They go for a few drinks each night but so would I if I was in sunny Spain. He has my full blessing.

Nor are women. The men likely to produce a strong healthy child are not always the ones you want for partners. Women’s hormones make it so they prefer different types of men during ovulation :)

I love when people post stupid shit like this - surely by the same token women would be 'biologically designed' to sleep with as many men as possible around ovulation to ensure she is fertilised by the strongest sperm.

But no, it's alway the men who have some bullshit evolutionary excuse for their shitty behaviour.

Nobody is forced to stay in a relationship or get married - if you do so and then lie and cheat then you are a scumbag.

*My favourite was when a prostitute approached them in Prague. She asked what games they'd like to play with her. His friend replied " How much to play Buckaroo?"

Their holidays are solely about getting friends living all over the UK together in one neutral place for watching sport and drinking.*

Their annual boys trip. Chatting to prostitues in Prague. PRAGUE. And you think he's not up to anything???

Neither are women mate.

If you did your research properly you'd know hypergamy, female cheating, sperm competition, women being sexually attracted to and having sex with different types of men when ovulating than when not ovulating, and the fact that the medical professional has always known from blood types etc that a fairly sizeable proportion of kids were not fathered by their "Dad" before DBA testing even became available etc etc that women are not naturally monogamous either.

Women always had to be the sneaky cheaters rather than the bold, dumb cheaters that men are; because the risks & punishment have always been much higher - physically, legally, financially, socially etc.

Humans practice monogamy & pair bonding with sneaky cheating.

We share 98% DNA with chimps and chimps ,- including female chimps - have sex with pretty much every non related chimp of the opposite sex.

The head of the penis and sperm us designed for a scooping out other semen (head) and sperm for sperm competition with other sperm.

There is a direct correlation between how faithful a female species is and the penis size of the male; humans have a proportionally very large penis for a species sharing a common ancestor with chimps.

So .... Nature.

Read the whole story.

Oh and they're also thought to be designed to cheat (women) for gene pool variety .... Given that they can only have about 15 - 20 kids, if everything goes well for them.

It’s our current society that promotes monogamy, not nature!

That's actually absolute BS too.

We have evolved to be monogamous, pair bonded animals - with a side dish of sneaky cheating - by some people more than others.

The pair bond night not naturally last a very long time ..... But I've never read 2 years, I've read at least 7 - because humans have survived most childhood diseases by then.

And what happened each time the couple has another child - which they would naturally every year more or less - is the period reset?

You've got a small portion of the picture and you're way oversimplifying.

Even red pillers and mras and mgtows acknowledge (some twisted form) of the fact that a portion of female humans have always cheated with perceived alpha, high status and dark triad males, while officially pair bonding with males who are lower status, have more caring/providing qualities, and will partner them in a way the "alpha" won't.

It called "alpha fucks, beta bucks".

And while nasty, it has some basis in evolutionary mating behaviour.

On an entirely observational note .... I know an awful lot of men who've been cheated on by women for that to be true (cause it's not).