Op it makes me feel sad that you weren’t able to challenge them! Obviously it’s never easy to do this when you are one person up against a group especially if you have low self esteem. The men you work with sound absolutely awful.
They sound like they were deliberately trying to wind you op. Or are lacking in self esteem themselves and are trying to big themselves up in front of their colleagues. Very immature; about fifth form level of debate I’d say!
Next time you can say “I am not comfortable with this conversation”. Or “would you like other men commenting on your mothers, sisters and wives in this way?” Or just get up and leave saying “luckily I have enough confidence to leave you to your lewd talk. Enjoy”
In order for people to personally hurt you, you have to trust the opinion of the person doing the insulting. Don’t give them that power. They are wrong!
Owing to experiences in your past, you have wrongly conflated two different unrelated things: being fat = being desperate.
As pps have pointed out, you can have very self confident larger women and very slim women who are lacking in self esteem.
What they are saying is nonsense! This is about individual self worth and you are just as good as any of these men, especially if you are working in tech and can run a half marathon!
Some positive things you can take away from this experience:
*you now know which men to avoid in your office,
- you may find it helpful getting some support to work out why you tend to seek validation through sex and to help you focus on your character and achievements rather than your appearance.
Good luck op and give those vile men a roasting next time!