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Original poster

Would you date a guy that…

94 replies

Overtlyone · 11/05/2023 16:51

Follows only fans accounts on instagram? Been on a few dates, nice guy. He’s been single a while so I know guys can turn to such things. He likes allot of the ‘sexy’ pics.
yes I’ve had a look on his IG account(who doesn’t!)
id like to think he would stop that if he was to get in a relationship…
wwyd? Run for the hills or see what happens if it goes further.
oh, we haven’t slept together yet

OP posts:
SarahSmith2023 · 11/05/2023 16:53

No.

Doggymummar · 11/05/2023 16:53

No I wouldn't

Walrussy · 11/05/2023 16:54

No

Niceseasidetown · 11/05/2023 16:56

Personally no

TomatoSandwiches · 11/05/2023 16:57

No, never.

determinedtomakethiswork · 11/05/2023 17:00

No. It's just asking for trouble.

Original poster
Overtlyone · 11/05/2023 17:00

Can I ask why you’d avoid?

OP posts:
Nofrillop · 11/05/2023 17:04

I know a woman who's been dating a guy just like that, for two years. I really wonder what she sees in him, he comes across as a creep.

Original poster
Overtlyone · 11/05/2023 17:07

He doesn’t strike me as ‘creepy’. I mean, he’s single so I guess he can do what he likes

OP posts:
AllOrNothingSituation · 11/05/2023 17:09

Wouldn't bother me.

SallyWD · 11/05/2023 17:15

It's not really a deal breaker for me. Ok, if I was in a relationship with him I'd expect him to massively reduce all that kind of stuff. But for a single man to look? No big deal (in my opinion).

Original poster
Overtlyone · 11/05/2023 17:22

SallyWD · 11/05/2023 17:15

It's not really a deal breaker for me. Ok, if I was in a relationship with him I'd expect him to massively reduce all that kind of stuff. But for a single man to look? No big deal (in my opinion).

See, this is my take on it too. I’d be annoyed if he was still liking pics if we were a couple. But we’re not, so I don’t know what he’s be like if we were, if that makes sense. Im all for giving the benefit of the doubt

OP posts:
00100001 · 11/05/2023 17:23

No..I'd ditch him.

BranchGold · 11/05/2023 17:29

No, I’d be uncomfortable with a man who wasn’t embarrassed of being so publicly sleazy. Do I know men who use pornography? Yep. But I do think there’s a difference between a private bedroom wank and me, my best mate, his mother/employer etc publicly being aware that he’s openly perving. It just gives me the ick.

Get an anonymous proxy Instagram for looking at nearly naked women, don’t attach it to your
socials.

And it won’t stop when you’re a couple, and everyone will feel a bit sorry/cringy for you as his missus.

Bargellobitch · 11/05/2023 17:31

Nah but then loads of stuff men do gives me the ick. So I'm not sure I'm a great judge

Nofrillop · 11/05/2023 17:34

Would it bother you 6 months down the line when in the throes of a full blown, deep and romantic relationship?

Just because someone's single doesn't mean they're not a creep. What sort of pages does he follow and posts does he like? If he watched live cam girls and paid for sex, would that bother you? Where does he draw the line, where would you?

You already having an inkling that something is shady about this guy or you wouldn't have posted on here.

Everyone's standards, boundaries and level of self-worth differs, so you really can't go by someone saying they would/would not be okay with it. It's what you're okay with - you need to think about what your standards, boundaries and level of self-worth are.

gwenneh · 11/05/2023 17:36

Nope, I'm not interested in the type of man who does that. Not for me!

Nofrillop · 11/05/2023 17:37

You are highly naive if you really believe he'll change his behaviour for you and that if you don't see 'likes' it means he's no longer that person.

datingred · 11/05/2023 17:38

BranchGold · 11/05/2023 17:29

No, I’d be uncomfortable with a man who wasn’t embarrassed of being so publicly sleazy. Do I know men who use pornography? Yep. But I do think there’s a difference between a private bedroom wank and me, my best mate, his mother/employer etc publicly being aware that he’s openly perving. It just gives me the ick.

Get an anonymous proxy Instagram for looking at nearly naked women, don’t attach it to your
socials.

And it won’t stop when you’re a couple, and everyone will feel a bit sorry/cringy for you as his missus.

yeah I think this is how i feel...I don't actually see why people would "follow" them and like their pics!? surely they can just look without having to follow or like so I'd question their judgement and what type of person they are- not for me

HowRatherGolly · 11/05/2023 17:38

You see, you would not be asking really, if this was not something that was bothering you. You have had a look, and seen what he is up to on SM, and now you know.

Will you be wondering whether this is something he will still be doing should you become an item? would that bother you?

If this is something he has on display for anyone to look him up on SM to see, then what else is there you dont see?

To me its principle, how men see women, does he see them as objects? and how they treat them, aka buy a pic, buy a video, then were does it end?

Is this purely following or is there more to it? If you didnt know him, never met him, and your friend asked you what your thoughts were, what would you say?

Whataretheodds · 11/05/2023 17:38

BranchGold · 11/05/2023 17:29

No, I’d be uncomfortable with a man who wasn’t embarrassed of being so publicly sleazy. Do I know men who use pornography? Yep. But I do think there’s a difference between a private bedroom wank and me, my best mate, his mother/employer etc publicly being aware that he’s openly perving. It just gives me the ick.

Get an anonymous proxy Instagram for looking at nearly naked women, don’t attach it to your
socials.

And it won’t stop when you’re a couple, and everyone will feel a bit sorry/cringy for you as his missus.

This. Do it in private.

Lovemebetter · 11/05/2023 17:40

I wouldn’t like it.

How old is he?

mindutopia · 11/05/2023 17:41

No. I don't have a problem with only fans/porn in an abstract sense. People - men and women - look at them. Fine. But it's gross to publicly advertise it on social media. I have a married female friend who likes muscle men in tight shorts bending over at the gym (yes, really, ick) social media and I think that's gross too.

Original poster
Overtlyone · 11/05/2023 17:43

He’s 40. I don’t feel like I can ask him about it yet as it’s really early days. But if this progresses, I will definitely say something along the lines of ‘guess you won’t need to like and follow those cam girls now hey’ in a jokey way. Like I said, early days yet and just enjoying our dates up to now

OP posts:
sewerrat · 11/05/2023 17:45

no you are a fool to

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